re: Your most difficult Christmas toy assembly? In-Game Cuss Thread.

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Kitchen for my daughter about 11 years ago. Whoever designed that POS needs an asswhipping.

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This was my #1 pita, too. To compound the issue I assembled it outside in the freezing cold. Lost dexterity in my fingers bc it was so cold and kept dropping the little bits. My wife watched and laughed through the door.

2nd was a basketball goal. In typical guy fashion I didn’t read the instructions. I mean it’s a pole, backboard, and rim…how hard could it be. Well, by step two I was fubar’d. the middle section of pipe had to in a certain way for the bottom to fit like it was supposed too. By the time I realized it I had already “firmly” pieced together said pipes and they would not come apart. I used a mallet, a torch, penetrating oil, vice and plumbers wrench, but could not separate it. Now mind you this is Christmas Eve around 11:00 and I’m going BANG,BANG on this damn thing while cursing. My neighbor whose children were grown and gone got a good laugh.

I ended having to drill holes in each end and tying one end off to my trailer hitch and the other to my four wheeler with about 6’ of slack, 4wd engaged, and full throttle.

The next morning my son says, “dad, Santa must have dropped my goal on the way inside because it’s scratched and dented”. Took all I had not to crack up laughing. I hadn’t even noticed all the scratches and dents.

Bought SSjr1 one of those electric dirt bikes that come in a box




Pulled it out and surprisingly the only assembly was the handlebars, fenders and brake adjustment.

30 min and two Kirkland Seltzers and It's fully assembled and charged in my tool shed.

Kitchen

I kept taking shots during assembly just so I didn’t get so mad and light that MFer on fire!

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Kitchen for my daughter about 11 years ago

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You ain't ever lying. I started a kitchen around 8pm to have it ready for Christmas morning. Didn't take a break and ended up in bed at 3:30 am to be woken up at 5

Trampoline with the stupid safety net all the way around it.

I’ve put together a 14 ft trampoline with enclosure, LifeTime swing set with monkey bars/slide/and fire pole, and a Barbie Dream House. In order of how big PITA, I rank them…

1. Barbie Dream House
2. Swing set
3. Trampoline

Trampoline is not terrible. That tool they give you to pull the springs is easy. Did the whole assembly by myself.

Swing set took the longest, but not the most difficult. My wife and I completed in 2 days.

The Barbie dream house can frick itself to kingdom come. Stupid plastic shite with a billion tiny stickers.

Not a toy but don’t ever put a freaking BBQ Grill together.

Buy it assembled

Just put a bed frame for my daughter that the wife ordered off Amazon. Easily could be sold as a 1000 piece puzzle.The instructions said it would take 6 hours to assemble, and I must say they tested that thoroughly, it took exactly 6 hours to assemble it, and I didn’t have to redo anything.

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How does a bedframe take 6 hours? You gonna have to give a link, baw.

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As requested, I believe this is it wife ordered it, so not positive.
Imagine a bed that comes in a box that looks like it could hold a 40” TV. No board was longer than about 3 feet. I guess it was like that to save on shipping. For example, the runners were 4 pieces that had brackets to attach them to make one long runner.

When my oldest Daughter was 3 (23 now), one of the gifts from Santa was a huge arse doll house…. I thought I could put that thing together in a hour. So at 9:00 pm Christmas Eve I start to put it together.

This damn thing had like a thousand pieces, and the instructions were just pictures with lines. Took me 5 hours to put it together.

Then I had to start on the other toys.

I told myself then … Never Again… and if I was putting anything together again it would be days before.