re: Your favorite sayings you've ever heard?

"It's hotter than two mice fricking in a wool sock"

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"When in doubt, look about"

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“No one cares, push Chris down the stairs.”

An old man once told me:

Never waste a boner, never trust a fart.

Also,

If it floats, flys, of fricks... It's cheaper to rent.

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”That boy ain't right"

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He’s throwed off.

" I ain't bad, but the bad don't mess with me"

Actually used that one once when I was younger. Showed up to a bar where some soldiers were refusing to leave after last call. I walk in and there is 4 pretty tough looking guys there, Ranger tabs, the whole 9, refusing to leave , drunker then shite , they'd already broke the place up some. I walk up to the obviosly senior guy and tell them they can walk out or get carted out, their choice. This dude looks me right in the eye "sir you think you're bad enough to back that up?" I straight up told "I"m not bad, but the bad don't mess with me"

Luckily for me they chose to walk out LOL

“I didn’t see anything that blew my skirt up”

Heard an old lady say that when shopping



“Like a prom dress, I’m off.”

“When in doubt, whip it out and beat it like a red-headed step-child stole it.”

(In response to being called "boy")

Who you calling boy....
I got a yard of d@ck, a bucket-full of balls and enough hair on my azz to weave an Indian blanket!

Better to be rich than right

If you can count your money, you ain't got any

You'll never remember the girls you been with, just the ones you could have a didn't

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“A man with a hard dick will go places a man with a loaded gun won’t.”

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This shite made my day