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Started By
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1
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:28 pm to TH03
Way to make this thread about you
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:30 pm to Bama and Beer
No matter how hard you push the envelope, it's always stationary.
I was going to have brain surgery, but then I changed my mind.
I was going to have brain surgery, but then I changed my mind.
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:32 pm to thedogman
My favorite dad joke is to make the OK sign with your hand and ask if they think you can poke your head through the little hole. They say no and you put it up to your forehead and poke your forehead with the opposite index finger.
Also works great with adults, since they immediately think its something inappropriate
Also works great with adults, since they immediately think its something inappropriate
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:41 pm to Jor Jor The Dinosaur
My mom always had a good dad joke. You'd ask her "can you make me a sandwich", she'd swirl her hands around and say "poof.....you're a sandwich".
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:41 pm to sicboy
Kid:"whats that smell?"
Dad:"your upper lip"
Dad:"your upper lip"
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:45 pm to sicboy
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
A stick
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:45 pm to sicboy
What time is it when you need to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty
Another staple of my Dad's - when a bug would splatter on the car windshield, he would say "I bet that bug doesn't have the guts to do that again".
Tooth-hurty
Another staple of my Dad's - when a bug would splatter on the car windshield, he would say "I bet that bug doesn't have the guts to do that again".
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:49 pm to Lou
Every time we pass a graveyard, I tell my kids that that's a popular place. People are dying to get in there.
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:51 pm to Lou
quote:
Another staple of my Dad's - when a bug would splatter on the car windshield, he would say "I bet that bug doesn't have the guts to do that again".
What's the last thing to go through that bug's mind?
It's arse
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:52 pm to sicboy
My dad will audibly fart, then claim there must be barking spiders in the house again.
I think it's funny because he always says it seriously, like he's still hoping someone might actually buy it one day.
I think it's funny because he always says it seriously, like he's still hoping someone might actually buy it one day.
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:53 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
My daughter doesn't think its funny when i point to a bale of hay in a field and scream "HEY!!!"
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:54 pm to nvasil1
My dad does a bird head bob when he makes a joke. The longer the pause between the joke and the inevitable groans, the better.
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:55 pm to el Gaucho
quote:
I don't get it
"I'm hungry"
"Oh, hello there hungry I'm Johnny"
Posted on 11/13/17 at 1:58 pm to The Mick
I have laughed at all of these.
Of course, I have used most of them (except the barking spiders).
Personally, I get a lot of mileage out of "can" versus "will."
Dad? Can you make me a sandwich?
Yes. walks off.
Of course, I have used most of them (except the barking spiders).
Personally, I get a lot of mileage out of "can" versus "will."
Dad? Can you make me a sandwich?
Yes. walks off.
Posted on 11/13/17 at 2:02 pm to sicboy
Did you guys hear about that actress who got stabbed in Hollywood? Reese um, Reese...
"Witherspoon?"
No, with a knife.
"Witherspoon?"
No, with a knife.
This post was edited on 11/13/17 at 2:08 pm
Posted on 11/13/17 at 2:04 pm to TH03
"Dad, I'm thirsty."
"Glad to meet you thirsty, I'm Friday."
"Glad to meet you thirsty, I'm Friday."
Posted on 11/13/17 at 2:06 pm to OnTheBrink
Kid: "Dad, my arm hurts when I move it like this."
Dad: "Well then, don't do that."
Dad: "Well then, don't do that."
Posted on 11/13/17 at 2:17 pm to Cdawg
quote:
"Dad, I'm thirsty."
"Glad to meet you thirsty, I'm Friday."
"Come over Saturday and we'll have a Sundae."
Posted on 11/13/17 at 2:17 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
Beat me to it.
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