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re: You know you’re old when…

Posted on 3/17/24 at 5:43 pm to
Posted by rundmcrun
Member since Jan 2024
300 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 5:43 pm to
quote:

Halfway thru masturbating you just quit.


As you age you gotta make use of that other hand to keep it short and attainable.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
71795 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 5:52 pm to
When you’ve worked at the same company long enough that a good portion of the workforce there wasn’t alive yet when you started.
Posted by biglego
San Francisco
Member since Nov 2007
82825 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 6:01 pm to
quote:

You go to a movie, and you want to take a nap.


I just napped through kung fu panda and it was glorious
Posted by Skillet
Member since Aug 2006
113100 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 6:20 pm to
You break your finger trying to peel an orange
Posted by habz007
New Orleans
Member since Nov 2007
4714 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 6:30 pm to
quote:

When 40 year old women are more appealing than 20 year olds.


I’m there
Posted by jafari rastaman
Member since Nov 2015
2475 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 7:45 pm to
When they start calling you pawpaw.

When you wear shorts and have to double check to make sure your nuts aren’t peaking out when you sit down.
Posted by bgtiger
Prairieville
Member since Dec 2004
11898 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 7:51 pm to
Movie naps are the absolute best.
Posted by BayouENGR
Seagrove Beach
Member since Nov 2015
2809 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 8:14 pm to
quote:

You go to a movie, and you want to take a nap


My husband's hearing is going so he uses closed captioning while watching tv, so he complains because there’s none at the theater
Posted by goodgrin
Atlanta, GA
Member since Nov 2003
6747 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 8:15 pm to
I was doing that before I was getting old.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133008 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 8:17 pm to
I last until the epic climax the whole movie has been building up to, then I'm snoring until the end.

I can't tell you how many movies this has happened in. The Force Awakens, Avengers Endgame (the first marvel movie I saw), desolation of Smaug...

Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
104123 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 8:18 pm to
Women see your flirting as cute instead of creepy.
Posted by White Bear
AT WORK
Member since Jul 2014
17159 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 8:19 pm to
quote:

When 40 year old women are more appealing than 20 year olds.
Posted by GeauxxxTigers23
TeamBunt General Manager
Member since Apr 2013
62514 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 8:21 pm to
quote:

husband's hearing is going so he uses closed captioning while watching tv, so he complains because there’s none at the theater


I just tell people I'm going deaf so I can ignore them.

Or make them yell in inappropriate places just to frick with them.
Posted by Tantal
Member since Sep 2012
18929 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 9:56 pm to
quote:

You wake up to pee
Every fricking night

Only once? Lucky.
Posted by auwaterfowler
Alabama
Member since Jan 2020
2866 posts
Posted on 3/17/24 at 10:25 pm to
quote:

You never walk past a bathroom.


Damn, I resemble that remark.
Posted by sqerty
AP
Member since May 2022
8069 posts
Posted on 3/18/24 at 3:04 am to
You decide not to go places when it gets dark
Posted by LanierSpots
Sarasota, Florida
Member since Sep 2010
68988 posts
Posted on 3/18/24 at 4:46 am to
quote:

You go to a movie, and you want to take a nap.



You "want to" or you basically have no choice but to.


Posted by LA Lightning
Member since Jun 2023
649 posts
Posted on 3/18/24 at 4:59 am to
I have specific memory of the exact moment of realization. I was strolling toward the food court in the mall when I saw a very attractive young woman walking past in the opposite direction. While I was eyeballin' her I was suddenly jolted to reality, when accompanying her was an older woman who clearly must have been her mother - and Mom was eyeballin' me!

Now in retrospect I should have had a mother/daughter fantasy, but in the moment it was a like a left hook from Mike Tyson.
Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
15720 posts
Posted on 3/18/24 at 5:15 am to
When you see a celebrity that was young and hip that you compared yourself to back in the day but today they look old and weathered. Then you think to yourself dang they look old. Thank goodness i dont look like that old. Well guess what?
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
72585 posts
Posted on 3/18/24 at 5:17 am to
quote:

... when you find yourself in a 29 page thread arguing with a stranger about your property taxes.
I lollled.

Mrs Füt (no pics) refers to all of you reprobates as my “imaginary friends”.
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