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re: Would you refuse to speak to your adult kids if they changed their religious beliefs?
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:31 pm to chinhoyang
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:31 pm to chinhoyang
quote:
A girl I went to college with came from a family that (1) did not have a lot of money and (2) were all members of a "holy roller" type church that was very controlling.
She defected during college and the family disowned her. The church was local and it was very aggressive in trying to stop her from leaving.
She married a guy that was from a very wealthy family. Many years later, her family was destitute needing money. They asked her for help (the first communications in years). She ignored them, and she ignored them in the right way (by not responding in any way, the best way to avoid drama).
Karma was well served.
You do realize that YOU are her family according to your initial response in this thread right? You would be the one disowning and cutting off your child for having the audacity to think for themself. You would be the a-hole, not your child.
I assume you are a Christian of some sort and I know for a FACT that Jesus would not agree one bit with your prejudice in his name.
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Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:32 pm to Billy Blanks
absolutely not. i say this as fairly devout evangelical.
i will say my relationship would change and support of them might look different but absolutely not cutting them off.
i.e. my kid goes to a christian school and abandons his faith in the middle of that. i'm not going to pay top dollar for him to get a degree at a christian school if he's not adhering to that faith.
if he goes to a public school and decides that he like drinking or whoring more than school, then my support would limit itself to purely academic and nothing outside of that.
all of that is more than i got from my parents and i was an exceptionally baptist Teenager with wealthy parents.
in no way would i cut them off or stop loving them.
i will say my relationship would change and support of them might look different but absolutely not cutting them off.
i.e. my kid goes to a christian school and abandons his faith in the middle of that. i'm not going to pay top dollar for him to get a degree at a christian school if he's not adhering to that faith.
if he goes to a public school and decides that he like drinking or whoring more than school, then my support would limit itself to purely academic and nothing outside of that.
all of that is more than i got from my parents and i was an exceptionally baptist Teenager with wealthy parents.
in no way would i cut them off or stop loving them.
This post was edited on 12/14/23 at 12:34 pm
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:32 pm to Boondock Saint
quote:
Wow...it's sad that you would do that. It's also disturbing that you lumped these belief systems together. They are two very different belief sets.
Do you feel that being a satanist is similar or "just as bad" as being an atheist?
I wouldn’t disown any of my kids if they claimed to be an atheist or a satanist, but if they started practicing satanic rituals or anything like that, they’d have to move out immediately and I’d love them from a distance.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:32 pm to Billy Blanks
quote:
The other is now atheist, grew up Baptist.
I would never tell my parents if I was atheist
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:32 pm to Billy Blanks
If my child converted to Mormonism I would be very very upset.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:34 pm to ChexMix
quote:
If you dont believe in something, you will fall for anything
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. See the play on words there?
Anyway, plenty to stand for outside of religion.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:35 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:
Not sure anyone won in this situation. Cutting off family is a net loss.
I know you mean well with this statement, and you're correct, right up to the point that your family becomes a toxin that stops you from succeeding in life. For a small minority of people, family is the only thing stopping them from becoming better people.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:36 pm to Billy Blanks
quote:
I can't fathom cutting off my own kids due to something like that.
One thing kiddos need to remember is that at the end of the day they can be disinherited. Not to say that the relationship does not continue etc. but the parents may not want their lifelong earnings going to someone who is of a radically different belief system than themselves.
You are better off just faking it for your folks if they believe that strongly in something.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:38 pm to jizzle6609
quote:
One thing kiddos need to remember is that at the end of the day they can be disinherited. Not to say that the relationship does not continue etc. but the parents may not want their lifelong earnings going to someone who is of a radically different belief system than themselves.
You are better off just faking it for your folks if they believe that strongly in something.
Certainly fair. However, that cuts both ways. I imagine those same parents would feel a certain way if those same kids refused to interact with them, care for them, let them see their grandkids, etc.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:39 pm to genuineLSUtiger
quote:This type of opinion is so childish.
Religion is a cancer on the human race
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:39 pm to Billy Blanks
You can't lead your children to Jesus by disowning them. I have four adult kids. None of them share my faith. One is gay. I still love them and I pray for them. We have a close bond.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:40 pm to Joshjrn
quote:
Certainly fair. However, that cuts both ways. I imagine those same parents would feel a certain way if those same kids refused to interact with them, care for them, let them see their grandkids, etc.
100% true.
I imagine in this day and age you wouldnt want to be on your parents bad side given the current economic situation most people currently find themselves in.
Slippery slope to say the least
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:40 pm to Boondock Saint
quote:
Do you feel that being a satanist is similar or "just as bad" as being an atheist?
No. I just don't agree with either of the two.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:41 pm to Jake88
quote:
This type of opinion is so childish.
Something that creates a routine of doing good for others is a cancer.
Some people are just morons.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:42 pm to jizzle6609
quote:Why? It's stricter and they seem to practice what's preached moreso than many Christian denominations.
If my child converted to Mormonism I would be very very upset.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:43 pm to Billy Blanks
Neither of those versions of Christianity suggest this.
But there are also multiple sides of every story. So it probably isn't this simple in either direction either.
But there are also multiple sides of every story. So it probably isn't this simple in either direction either.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:43 pm to chinhoyang
quote:
I would disown them.
I pity your children.
Imagine living your life according to a belief system created by someone else, who gets to determine whether you end up in hell or heaven for eternity according to their standards.
Then imagine teaching your kids to do the right thing, and tell them to do what they believe is right, only to cut them off when they do exactly that by adhering to something they believe in. The hypocrisy is overwhelming.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:45 pm to Billy Blanks
It could be worse. Your son could be a daughter.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:45 pm to NYNolaguy1
quote:
I pity your children.
Going by his other replies it appears he was trolling.
Posted on 12/14/23 at 12:46 pm to Billy Blanks
quote:
There's a couple friends of mine going through this.
Sounds like they're better off without their parents in their lives. You said families cut them off though. The entire family cut ties, or just the parents? Does the rest of the family always follow the parents?
Garuntee they've been shitty parents with lots of cuck arse family their entire lives if this is where they drew a hard line.
I'm a stubborn sob, if my parents or family did something like this, frick it. They'd never hear from me again until they reached out and apologized. Sounds like shitty family
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