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re: Would you define this as sexual assault

Posted on 10/27/21 at 10:08 am to
Posted by WDE24
Member since Oct 2010
54853 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 10:08 am to
quote:

And it was largely in a non-offensive context, even where it was a genuine rejection. It wasn't deemed problematic in any serious moral sense.
To me, it’s still not a huge moral issue unless someone is a habitual offender.

quote:

I just think "going for it" was socially acceptable for years and years before we decided it was now pseudo-criminal.
I still think going for it, in a sense, is acceptable. One should just go for it in a way that allows for rejection to occur before penetrating someone’s mouth or any other orifice (wet willies excluded).

quote:

The reality is that our culture refuses to split hairs on things like this anymore, which ends up creating a stupid environment.
I agree. While what was described might in a sense fit the definition of sexual assault, it’s a long way from rape or other more serious and victimizing acts that also fit the definition.

Then there is room here to question the accuracy of the story given the time lapse, the failure to identify the accused and allow for rebuttal, and the context of telling the claim to sell a book.

This post was edited on 10/27/21 at 10:11 am
Posted by baobabtiger
Member since May 2009
4954 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 10:54 am to
The girl was married to Anthony wiener. She’s been through way worse than that.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:05 am to
quote:

If that’s the case then I’ve been sexually assaulted numerous times.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
71247 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:05 am to
I guess technically it could be considered assault, but if the guy read the scene as a go, and then stopped and apologized right after finding out he was wrong, I don't think it's generally something you go after.

I'd say it's prudent to be damn sure you know the temperature in the room before going in hard like that. She's also a scumbag, so she could be lying about the whole thing or omitting the part where she grabbed his dick for all we know.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
71247 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:12 am to
quote:

To be clear, I'm not advocating we go back to this. I just think "going for it" was socially acceptable for years and years before we decided it was now pseudo-criminal. Not all modern progress on sex is lefty nonsense, the shift from this is how it should be (within reason).


The retrofitting of any modern ideas about sex is often nonsense though. Remember when they went after the guy in the famous WW2 victory kiss pic when they found out he and the woman were strangers and he just went for it?
Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:12 am to
quote:

While what was described might in a sense fit the definition of sexual assault,


What was described is missing too much context to make any claim. What type of relationship did the two have? Did he have any perceived power over her? If so, I'd lean towards it being sexual assault as he attempted to use his power to force himself on her and force her into doing something she didn't want to do. But at the same time, he relented as soon as she rejected his advances, so it's trickier.

I'd guess that every guy here has made an unwanted advance on a girl, so we're more apt to dismiss this one. But we're also guilty of maybe no taking into account how women perceive and internalize those unwanted advances. Most of ours are likely in a bar while drunk while younger, so easier to justify and perhaps easier for the girl to move past.
Posted by Bestbank Tiger
Premium Member
Member since Jan 2005
80996 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:35 am to
quote:

mean, how will you know unless you try? Do you ask "hey can i stick my tongue in your mouth?"? Get it in writing? record the conversation?


Don't lead with your tongue?
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108067 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:38 am to
First off, if it happened in DC (just making an assumption in context) it would be almost impossible to define as sexual assault since it was just a kiss. So I think from a strictly textbook standpoint, it's not legally assault anyway.

RAINN definitions for sexual assault by state/territory (DC)

That said, from a moral standpoint, I don't think it would warrant a charge either way and if I was on a jury in a case like this I'd definitely not convict. He stopped when she said no and apologized. It wasn't groping or penetrating elsewhere without her consent. She had agreed to come up to his place after dinner for "coffee". And apparently had a decent conversation while drinking coffee, so she may have given off the vibe that she was consenting in that conversation (hard to say without the context of that conversation).

The important part is he stopped when she no. That's pretty textbook acknowledging that she withdrew any potential consent.
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
20252 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:42 am to
"sexual assault" means nothing anymore.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108067 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:48 am to
quote:

i mean, how will you know unless you try? Do you ask "hey can i stick my tongue in your mouth?"? Get it in writing? record the conversation?


I'd argue these days you're probably just better off letting her make the move, because then that is her giving her consent.
Posted by TheWalrus
Land of the Hogs
Member since Dec 2012
47471 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:49 am to
You can’t do this anymore
Posted by SpotCheckBilly
Member since May 2020
8526 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:52 am to
quote:

I mean, it seems pretty obvious that if a male invites a female back to their home after dinner/a party that they are wanting to do sexual things. Its not like he whipped his dick out, or grabbed her tits or anything. He went for a kiss, and she declined, and he stopped, and she left.

And I don't believe that this woman, who was married to such a sick frick for so long, suffered any real psychological damage from this incident.


This. He tried to kiss her, she declined, he stopped. No assault.

Then she doubled down on dirtbags by choosing to marry Weiner. Maybe quadrupled down would be more apt. In any case, this is a nothing assault.
This post was edited on 10/27/21 at 11:55 am
Posted by Jeff Boomhauer
Arlen, TX
Member since Jun 2016
3601 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 11:59 am to
No. The only situation I can imagine where it might be considered a type of sexual assault would be if he had previously taken his shot and been rebuffed, but then did this.

In reality, I have no doubt that she was being very flirtatious and using her sexuality to get what she wanted from that Senator. Obviously this encounter was after whatever deal he agreed to was finalized.
Posted by Nguyener
Kame House
Member since Mar 2013
21057 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:03 pm to
I was so disgusted that I continued to work for and campaign for and champion for that man and everything he stands for and all of his friends everyday for the rest of my life
This post was edited on 10/27/21 at 12:04 pm
Posted by ConfusedHawgInMO
Member since Apr 2014
3578 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:03 pm to
You miss all the shots you don't take...
Posted by ConfusedHawgInMO
Member since Apr 2014
3578 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:05 pm to
quote:

don't know the legal definition of "sexual assault," but that's definitely not okay to do that to someone that doesn't want it to be done, no?


He should've just stood in front of her and said "Well it ain't gonna suck itself."
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
109005 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:53 pm to
Improper behavior in my book, not sure it reaches sexual assault.

Just because someone asks you to come in for coffee and get comfortable and the woman freely does so, is not an invitation to do what the senator allegedly did.

Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:55 pm to
Initiating a kiss is pretty normal, no?

Do people here ask permission?
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
109005 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:57 pm to
quote:

Initiating a kiss is pretty normal, no?


Depends on the situation and the flow of the date or whatever brought them together, and not sure shoving your tongue immediately down a woman's throat meets the initiating kiss definition. That's quite a stretch.


Look, we are making assumptions over a comment and story from one side. If what she said is true how it happened it's improper to shove your tongue down a woman's mouth. Now if he made an attempt to kiss her lips and she declined then I don't see that as a big issue.
This post was edited on 10/27/21 at 1:01 pm
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 10/27/21 at 12:59 pm to
Double
This post was edited on 10/27/21 at 1:02 pm
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