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Started By
Message
Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:18 am
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:18 am
Because people are dying to get in!
31
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:19 am to GreyWhiskers
Keep the zombies from getting out.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:19 am to GreyWhiskers
Homeless people
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:20 am to GreyWhiskers
Fist time I heard this joke I nearly fell off my dinosaur
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:20 am to GreyWhiskers
Why are barns red ? They look better
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:21 am to GreyWhiskers
I prefer to call them the Free Flower Factories.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:23 am to GreyWhiskers
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the
dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!
But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar
patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,
the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked,
begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild, but the bartender is clearly disapproving.
The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons
chant "Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs
his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is
in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the
right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs
over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in
grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he
was a head."
dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!
But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar
patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,
the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked,
begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild, but the bartender is clearly disapproving.
The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons
chant "Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs
his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is
in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the
right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs
over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in
grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he
was a head."
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:23 am to GreyWhiskers
Because Goth kids like to frick and/or shoot music videos in them.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:24 am to GreyWhiskers
Are you serious?..
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:24 am to GreyWhiskers
Now it is because to keep the crack heads from stealing those brass rings that hold flowers.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:24 am to GreyWhiskers
This is not a dad joke, it's a grandpa joke.
Makes sense.
quote:
GreyWhiskers
Makes sense.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:30 am to GreyWhiskers
Thanks Gnome
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:34 am to GreyWhiskers
My grandpa used to love to say "You know how many people are dead in there" as we were driving by a cemetery. As a kid you'd ask how many expecting a number and his answer was "all of them"
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:35 am to GreyWhiskers
Nice
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:35 am to Shexter
ha, I liked it. 
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:36 am to GreyWhiskers
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:38 am to jb4
quote:
Why are barns red ? They look better
...and because red paint was cheaper than other colors.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:50 am to RummelTiger
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:50 am to GreyWhiskers
Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi?
He's still alive.
He's still alive.
Posted on 3/6/20 at 9:52 am to Shexter
Long and worth it.
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