re: Who here was whipped as a child but doesn't whip their own children now?

my step mom scared me more than my dad. She did not play around and would be quick to slap the hell out of you.

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Ruling by fear, not good.

Not good at all.

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I can't speak for him, but there is a difference between being scared of your parents and being scared of consequences.

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This is why kids are assholes.

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You got it backwards Buckeye. Assholes deal with problems by using emotional outbursts.

I reasoned with all three of my sons. None of them got spanked. I admit to using a few pain compliance techniques learned during my career in law enforcement ;) but I always took the time to explain.

They are all perfect gentlemen, now ages 18-25.

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Good luck reasoning with kids from age 0-5ish.

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Kids this age absolutely can be reasoned with. You're just trying to reason with them as you would with someone who is older.

I got the shite beat out of me as a kid. Extension cord wire hanger fan belt I cant name them all. My wife was a not whipped growing up and thought it was a good idea. Well now that our boys are 14 and 10 she wishes she would have let me bust their arse.

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So you personally have no method

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I certainly do have a method. It just doesn't involve spanking.

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but are going to criticize mine.

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I mean, it's the subject of the frickin thread for God's sake.

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Do you have any kids?

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Yes, I have two. They have very different personalities, and have responded to different methods, none of which involved spanking.

I have it exactly right. The biggest assholes I know had parents who whipped their kids too much or not enough. There's a difference between spanking and child abuse.

Also, at "reasoning with" children who haven't developed the cognitive ability to reason effectively.

I remember getting spanked and probably deserved it. Probably a few times with my boys - when they got to about 10 or so I threatened it but I think they realized that it could happen and that seems to have helped. Plus I think about the age of 11 or so they are just too old to spank

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1. That doesn't meant from 0-5 you should not be working to get them to do what's right.

2. Hitting them isn't the alternative/correct answer because you can't reason with them. Hell, if you know you can't reason with them, how do you think they're going to process being hit by the person they depend on at that age?

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An 18-month old will understand X-action equals a pop on the butt well before he understand X-action should be avoided because it's dangerous or not acceptable behavior.

If that works for you or other parents, that's great. My wife and I have employed all sorts of discipline. We're constantly evolving as our children age. We scrap the ones that don't work and keep the ones that do.

A few weeks ago our 4 year old spoke back after a couple of warnings about it and she had to "lick" a bar of soap. (she had to put her tongue out and I touched it with a bar of soap ) She was more devastated by that consequence than anything we've done up to this point. She hasn't spoken back with that word since, so it's been effective.

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You think spanking a kid at that age or 2 or 3 or 4 years old has no effect emotionally and mentally on them?

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Nothing more than an understanding that the parent is the boss.

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"No, Aiden, don't do that. Please stop."
What? You think spanking is the only possible reprimand other than "please stop?"

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No, you are planting it as that black and white. I was merely having a little fun. I have friends and acquaintances who are anti-spanking and their children are hellions. Throwing in the "Aiden was a tease at my fellow millinials

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Are you actually a parent?

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. Yes to a well behaved child.

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That's hard to believe considering you see no other options between those 2 statements.

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Since you think spanking a child will scar them, lets hear how you do it?