re: Who here is divorced with kids?

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To make people take a step back and think about their racism and hypocrisy.

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Okay but why this thread? Strange choice to want to bait in.

I'm sorry you feel so oppressed. Not sure what will help you feel better. Pretty sure whining about your "perceived" outrage on here is not going to do anything positive but you do you.

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Sometimes it isn't that they made the wrong decision...life just happened. Many couples get hit with some intense life altering circumstances that they never anticipated. Those things can have a huge negative impact on a marriage. Very easy to sit on the sidelines and just say people aren't trying hard enough. Sometimes even when you give it all you have...it still just isn't enough.

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What many fail to realize is life is not and will never be perfect. Shite happens.

And GLT, that includes all skin pigments.

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What many fail to realize is life is not and will never be perfect. Shite happens.

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I think many already know this. They just assume they will be able to handle all the bumps of life together.


Some "bumps" are just too much. Or last a really long time and just slowly erode the relationship bit by bit.

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I think many already know this. They just assume they will be able to handle all the bumps of life together. Some "bumps" are just too much. Or last a really long time and just slowly erode the relationship bit by bit.

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I agree, it is hard. I see most erode over time. Resentment builds and can't be overcome.

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How do kids handle split custody? Even in the best situation it seems like an odd sort of childhood, 2 houses, 2 families, 2 sets of friends, half siblings, etc

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It is challenging but not impossible. Biggest thing is to not bash the other parent. That can be very hard to not do. Adjustments are made and things are normalized as best they can be.

Kids are pretty resilient but I will say it is harder (when the split/divorce happens) on older one's than younger one's.

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Nobody was talking about race until you brought it up. Maybe you should think about your own racism seeing how it was foremost in your mind. Everyone else: Divorce with kids sucks You: Black kids don't have fathers, you racists Pretty dumb.

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It's one of the most difficult things to navigate especially when the other parent messes up and you feel like you need to teach the children that it's wrong.

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Exactly. What's worse is when the other parent does it. Definitely not a tit for tat situation.

In the long run, the kids will see by their parents actions and how they were about it. It just sucks while it is happening.

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It blows my mind so many people get the biggest decision in their life wrong.

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This is purely 3rd party "outside looking in", but based in what I've read every time this topic arises here.. and what I've seen from the 6 or so friends that have gone through divorces in the past few years..

A lot of people seem to have a real issue self reflecting on their relationship. I guess we all do at one time or another. I mean, look at some of the women being described in this thread and the people admitting that the signs were always there. Obviously there is no blanket answer for every divorce, but a lot of people marry someone who wasn't good from the start. And even in divorce, it gets blamed on them changing or something, when they were always that way.

In my groups of friends, you have two glaring explanations.

For the men that have gone through divorces, they married miserable horrible women. They hid the fact that they were proposing from friends and family until the last minute.. because deep down they knew nobody approved, rightfully so. It didn't matter what we did as a couples group - a dinner out, watching an LSU game, a crawfish boil. Whatever it was, their wives were pissy and bitching at them the entire time. Miserable people.
In both of their cases, the miserable wives who never allowed them to go out.. ended up being the ones cheating.

On the flip side for women being screwed over, a lot of women seem to be attracted to men that have so little respect for them or interest in them. Men that see themselves as superior and don't get genuine enjoyment out of being around them. You see these women running around BEGGING their husband to do anything with them. Walking on eggshells, spending special occasions alone because he has something else to do, making excuses for him to everyone else. This type of shite is underlying in many cases but people won't admit it to themselves so they get married to someone who is bored by them.

Obviously this doesn't scratch the surface on the myriad of unique situations and reasons for divorce.

hmmmm I used to work for a guy who was a pastor and had an affair with someone from his congregation...she was also married and insane..... small world maybe??