re: When is it okay to seek medical help?

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You should start doing a daily meditation.

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Seek a Spiritual solution before a chemical one.

Good luck man. Early 30s is stressful. Try not to take life too seriously.

Have you tried to reach out to family or friends? They know you more than a therapist will. Sometimes mama knows best...

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Have you tried to reach out to family or friends?

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I would feel so uncomfortable...completely and utterly uncomfortable. I have never been one to discuss anything emotional with people. I have always been a brain first person. I know that's not good...

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I would feel so uncomfortable...completely and utterly uncomfortable. I have never been one to discuss anything emotional with people. I have always been a brain first person. I know that's not good...

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I understand.

Talking to a therapist will also take vulnerability. If you can manage to be a little vulnerable to someone close to you in your family it could be an option.

Even visiting Home, going for a walk or reaching out to family helps. Sometimes they can sense it. From your OP , I got the idea that you were more “lost/bored” than depressed. That’s the reason I recommended.

Remember that society has created expectations for who/what/where we are supposed to be at different ages. Don’t give in to that theory. If you need to put yourself in debt for a year in order to better your mental health then do it. Do the best you can with what you have

I’ll say it again: meditation. Everyday. Even if it’s only 10 min

“I have never been one to discuss anything emotional with people. I have always been a brain first person.”.
Ask yourself why? And if that’s who you want to continue to be? You’ve already been vulnerable and opened up to discussing emotions here... that’s a good first step.

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Just tell your doctor what you said here. He'll prescribe you something.

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He may not need drugs. I'd suggest going to see a therapist. I've done it before working through some things from my past and it's a good place to start. No shame in that.

Hey man, first things first. You're going to be alright. Lots of people go through things similar to what you're going through. The difference is that most people won't (or don't) admit it, even to themselves.

You've taken the first step, which is to step back and realize that perhaps the way you've been living your life isn't the way you want to keep living it. Believe me...LOTS of people continue to whistle past the graveyard and think that the loneliness, emptiness, depression, etc. is just the normal human condition.

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So, my question is when is it okay to reach out to a doctor or psychologist?

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Let's start here. Yes, it is absolutely okay whenever you think you may need it. And I say that as an ardent Christian. We have the benefit of many smart and compassionate individuals who can speak and empathize with many different people going through myriads of issues. Take advantage of that. I believe God led those people to those professions for a reason. There is no shame in seeking whatever support you need.

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I am not where I want to be mentally. A lot of friends are stressed out, too, and I think my generation (born 1987) are in a similar boat

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I was born in 1986. I know of what you speak.

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we are always on the go and stressing over everything.

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Yes, we are. The key is to ask yourself "what am I stressing out over?"

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I work multiple jobs to maintain financial freedom (because my head is drilled that money is good and debt is bad)

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I think this is the biggest thing you're grappling with. When you say "financial freedom," do you literally mean that you are in debt and that you wish to be debt-free ASAP?

Or do you mean that you simply want to make lots of money because that will theoretically make you more "free?"

If the former, I totally understand where you're coming from. Student loan debt (I'm assuming is your case...) is no joke for our generation. I am trying to do the same and get that shite paid off with the quickness. You shouldn't feel stressed out over that. You should feel proud. Yeah, it's hard work, but it will pay off in the long run. You will feel incredible once that burden is lifted from your shoulders.

However, if you're referring to the latter, than it may be time for you to take a good, long look in the mirror and figure out what exactly it is that makes you happy. Does money make you happy? From what you say, it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like money is stressing you the frick out.

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However, I constantly ask myself the question if making more money but being miserable is even logical

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I won't be presumptuous, but this makes me feel like i know what your answer is to my question above.

Here's the best advice I can give: everything that our society says about money, wealth, and status? Forget it. Forget that shite and try to think about it as little as possible. That's the drug that's seeping into your brain. It's a never-ending pursuit of some vague notion of materially-inspired bliss that will NEVER come to fruition. That's why we call it the "rat race." If you are seeking happiness solely based on your bank account, you will never find it. Happiness is found outside and above monetary wealth.

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I feel depressed occasionally because what I see some friends do I just no longer even want to do with them (going out, etc.).

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This is a sign that that lifestyle is no longer calling you. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying to stop hanging out with friends, but maybe it's time to reconsider whether another lifestyle would bring you more fulfillment and happiness.

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However, the use of drugs like Adderal (sp.) and others are their way of pushing forward. I do not want to go the route of any supplements.

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Good for you. Don't even think about touching something that hasn't been prescribed for you.

Bottom line: You are in better shape than you think you are. At least you are leveling with yourself. Many people fail to do that and simply continue to live their life based on how TV commercials say they should. Trust your instincts. Do yourself a favor, and go see a professional. I guarantee you that they have seen this before and have some great advice/tools on how to get back to a good place.

I wish you the best of luck brotha! I don't know you, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope that you find what you are looking for.

Does your employer have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)?


Reason why I ask...if they do you can usually get free counseling sessions out of it. Talking to a therapist can be very beneficial to some with anxiety issues.

I actually used my work EAP to get 8 free sessions with a therapist for myself. Helping my father with his severe anxiety issues lately has taking a huge toll on my own mental and emotional health. Just being able to speak to someone freely, that doesn't know you and doesn't judge you, can be such a relief in itself.

I think it is great that you recognize that you might need some help. That is huge. Whether that help is medicine, therapy, whatever....don't be afraid to reach out for help. I hope you are able to find the mental peace you seek


ETA: Even if you don't have an EAP, most insurance plans cover mental health and therapist visits. It would cost me $40 for an hour session with a therapist with my insurance.

You’re asking. Go now. Seriously.