re: When did you start making your own decisions? (Adulthood helicopter parent thread)

I have to say, I'm a little surprised that a few of my best friends are following their kids' every move at college on Life 360. They say, "if they want a cell phone, they have to agree to this." I get wanting to track them for safety purposes, but it just seems a bit much. These kids are going to have a time developing relationships with mommy and daddy tracking them 24/7.

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This is almost the identical situation I’m dealing with between my mom and sister. It sucks because my sister has now completely cut her off from seeing their grandkids. Holidays are going to be brutal this year

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Yup my sister at this point has talked about eloping and moving half way across the country....and honestly I told her that may be a good idea.

Continuing to be over involved with your kids that deep into adulthood destroys so much

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They say, "if they want a cell phone, they have to agree to this

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If they said, “I don’t care about what they do everyday, I just want to make sure I can find them in case of an incident or emergency,” I would have agreed with that.

That is messed up about the cell phone.

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The normal separation NEEDS to happen

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I make a point to remind myself of this daily. It is REALLY hard to sit back and watch your kids make dumb decisions, but it's truly in their best interest. I can't be do-it-all mama bear forever.

As far as me, I went to college at 17, but I was still financially dependent for undergrad. I worked the whole time, but not enough to actually support myself.

I have always listened to my parents for life advice, because they are smart and successful. Not picking out a house or anything, but we have definitely gotten advice along the way.

In my opinion, that's a part of generational wealth. Children of educated, hard-working parents are statistically better off in the long run because they have a wealth of knowledge at their disposal.

2, started telling my mother that I wanted to do by myself.

6-7 years old

I started college at 17, 3-weeks after graduating high school...so right around then.

13....then left for the military at 18....never been back.

I would still be living at home if it were an option...I didn't leave home, home left me when I was 15. My dad got a job 3 hours away, asked if I wanted to move in my Sophmore year of High School, told him not really and he let me keep our Apartment. I paid the rent and utilities. I had a job as a janitor in a high rise office complex of 4 buildings where the battery is in Smyrna Ga today (braves new home). Went to school, worked 30-50 hours a week and had a BLAST. A friend moved in with me, he had a gig at UPS so he made really good money for a high school kid and we lived large. Apartment was a flop house for high school kids, how we got away with it is a mystery, the only thing I know is it was the 1980s and we sold drugs out of the apartment so the adults around allowed us to operate due to the convenience of having drug dealers in the neighborhood. Now a days they lock my father up, lock my room mates parents up, put me and him in foster care and generally have a fit...in the 1980's on the west side of Atlanta? Not a problem....

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I sent my dad this quote when I was in my late 20's. “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” While I came to the same conclusion that Mark Twain did, I just did it in my mid to late 20's.

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I know people who swear that is the way their relationship with their dad went but mine was just the opposite...I thought he was a genius until I was in my mid-thirties when I realized he was just a human being with good qualities and some flaws...smart in some ways and ignorant in others, just like all people.