re: What’s the most “dad” thing that your dad did?

Damn baw that’s effed up.

fricked my mom

He would sit on the sofa after dinner and scratch his balls. With us in tv room. Mom woukd get disgusted after about 30 seconds and say something like ‘Do you HAVE to do that here???’ When i was younger (im the oldest kid), he give a dirty look and stop. When i was older, he say ‘Yes’ and keep scratching.

I had been bugging my Dad for ages about a tree house. We had what looked to me like plenty of wood just laying around to get it done. Finally one day he agreed.

Got a couple 8 x 8’s up on one side and the tree on the other holding up a really solid base about 10 feet up. Now that took the better part of a weekend. Then he starts telling me in detail what was left and I don’t even remember but it sounded complicated as hell and it was going to take like a month more of weekends. So finally when he got to the part about the electrical hookup I was like “this is good enough”.

Now my Dad is the type that if we’re going to do something, we’re going to do it right. But years later I came to a conclusion. He wasn’t planning to do any of that shite.

My dad got tired of losing his tools in the weeds when we’d go out and work in the woods and pastures so he spray painted all of his tools with reflective orange paint.

When my brother and I were little shits slamming our bedroom doors he’d just take them off the hinges and say “enjoy”.

Also dude could fart in just about any tone what seemed like on command, tenor sax, trumpet, all the way to tuba.

He'd yell your name from across the house like he was pissed.. when you meagerly walked into whatever room he was in, he'd say "just wanted to see how far I could drag an arse without a rope"

He did this often enough but you never knew if you were in trouble or not when he yelled your name.. Part dad joke, part psychological warfare.

He would fall asleep on the recliner watching TV. Whenever I changed the channel, he instantly woke up and made me change it back. It was like a sixth sense.

Used to wake me up early when it snowed to "help him shovel." His version of me helping was me shoveling and him sweeping any left over snow.

He paid almost everything in cash just so he could save the change. Every month, he would roll the coins up in those bank issued brown wrappers and deposit them in an account. He bequeathed the account to me when he died.

We were told by our "all star" baseball coaches not to do any work the day of the game so that we would be rested and ready. My father comes in yelling that morning for me to take the push mower, walk it down to my great aunt's house(about 1/2 a mile) and push mow the yard. I tell him my baseball coaches said don't do any work. He proceeds into the baseball coaches don't run things around here, and how he'd plow all day, and then go hit 3 homers that night, etc. Anyway, still sullen I cut the whole yard in 95 degree 1984 MS heat. Later that night the first batter popped up to me and I dropped it. I ended up striking out in a big spot later, got yanked from the game, and we lost by one run causing us to have to play and win the next day to advance. Of course, I blame my dad for making me mow, and he proceeds to tell me it wasn't the work, but that I just suck arse.