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Message
What's a good way to phrase people who can't accept good fortune of others?
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:08 am
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:08 am
the title is somewhat skewed so let me explain the scenario i'm trying to talk about (there are 2 sides)
you have 2 friends (or family). good decision maker (GDM) and bad decision maker (BDM). GDM accumulates property and a higher standard of living and with the superior mindset, creates goals and figures out strategies to hit those goals. BDM makes sub-optimal decisions and has accumulated less property, has a lower standard of living, likely more debt, and hasn't built the mindset to create a path out
side 1: when GDM talks about their new investment plans, they aren't bragging, but BDM takes it that way and either responds with sarcasm of accuses GDM of being a braggart: what is a good way to describe this behavior by BDM?
side 2: the other side is, why do we have such a problem with the GDMs talking about the good decisions they've made to get to a high point? i'm not even talking about bragging. i mean when GDMs are trying to give good advice or use examples from BDMs past to show where they need to shift their thinking? everyone has that friend who freaks out and says shite like "oh i know you're so perfect" or some other dismissive-aggressive response...or the "hey i fricked up OK? don't rub it in" avoidance
the fricked up part is that GDMs often make good decisions by delaying gratification while BDMs get into their ruts by making impulsive decisions to immediately experience that gratification. hell, the GDMs are often called negative nicknames (cheap, scared, a pussy, etc) for avoiding these traps
you have 2 friends (or family). good decision maker (GDM) and bad decision maker (BDM). GDM accumulates property and a higher standard of living and with the superior mindset, creates goals and figures out strategies to hit those goals. BDM makes sub-optimal decisions and has accumulated less property, has a lower standard of living, likely more debt, and hasn't built the mindset to create a path out
side 1: when GDM talks about their new investment plans, they aren't bragging, but BDM takes it that way and either responds with sarcasm of accuses GDM of being a braggart: what is a good way to describe this behavior by BDM?
side 2: the other side is, why do we have such a problem with the GDMs talking about the good decisions they've made to get to a high point? i'm not even talking about bragging. i mean when GDMs are trying to give good advice or use examples from BDMs past to show where they need to shift their thinking? everyone has that friend who freaks out and says shite like "oh i know you're so perfect" or some other dismissive-aggressive response...or the "hey i fricked up OK? don't rub it in" avoidance
the fricked up part is that GDMs often make good decisions by delaying gratification while BDMs get into their ruts by making impulsive decisions to immediately experience that gratification. hell, the GDMs are often called negative nicknames (cheap, scared, a pussy, etc) for avoiding these traps
This post was edited on 2/12/18 at 11:10 am
27
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:09 am to SlowFlowPro
Jakes
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:09 am to SlowFlowPro
Just to clarify, you are the GDM and have an oilfield baw BDM friend?
This post was edited on 2/12/18 at 11:10 am
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:09 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
side 1: when GDM talks about their new investment plans, they aren't bragging, but BDM takes it that way and either responds with sarcasm of accuses GDM of being a braggart: what is a good way to describe this behavior by BDM?
insecurity
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:10 am to aVatiger
quote:
Jakes
bruh, i'm always supportive of my friends and not the jealous type
it's one of the advantages of growing up pretty poor and going to school with rich baws. teaches you humility
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:11 am to SlowFlowPro
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/13/25 at 9:14 am
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:11 am to SlowFlowPro
Haters, bro.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:11 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:Jelly
What's a good way to phrase people who can't accept good fortune of others?
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:12 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
side 2: the other side is, why do we have such a problem with the GDMs talking about the good decisions they've made to get to a high point? i'm not even talking about bragging. i mean when GDMs are trying to give good advice or use examples from BDMs past to show where they need to shift their thinking? everyone has that friend who freaks out and says shite like "oh i know you're so perfect" or some other dismissive-aggressive response...or the "hey i fricked up OK? don't rub it in" avoidance
Are these BDMs asking for the advice? It's very difficult to help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:12 am to Cosmo
quote:
ust to clarify, you are the GDM and have an oilfield baw BDM friend?
no. i only have one real "oil field" friend and he's an operator and married w 2 kids and doing well. he and i have talked about similar things and he agrees with me. he's always supportive of me and i'm supportive of him. we go waaaaaay back
it's more of a more meta point, especially re: government redistribution/subsidy, but doing lots of work in divorce i see this in relationships a TON. this is a major schism in divorce...often greater than one from cheating
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:12 am to lnomm34
quote:
Let me guess: GDM is SFP, isn’t he?
And BDM is SFPsis... she's a "musician". If that's not BDM-ing I don't know what is.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:13 am to SlowFlowPro
I have been a BDM in the past. I don't know that I ever held it against friends other than friendly ribbing like "oh ok mr cpa". One of the things that got me out of my rut was listening and paying attention to what the GDM friends are saying. I'm a piece of shite with a lot of successful friends and family and I'm becoming less of a piece of shite by listening to them
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:14 am to SlowFlowPro
liberals
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:15 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
what is a good way to describe this behavior by BDM?
Peanut butter and jealous.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:16 am to SlowFlowPro
Toxic.
It's an evolutionary mechanism many really competitive people have as well though.
It's an evolutionary mechanism many really competitive people have as well though.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:18 am to SlowFlowPro
They're are 2 types of suck asses.... Successful and unsuccessful!
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:18 am to SlowFlowPro
These BDMs are they same people that get offended when you correct them if they mistate a fact or pronounce a word wrong by rolling their eyes and saying "whatever" or something to that effect. Instead of being appreciative that you've prevented them from further sounding like a dumbass.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:18 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
side 2: the other side is, why do we have such a problem with the GDMs talking about the good decisions they've made to get to a high point? i'm not even talking about bragging. i mean when GDMs are trying to give good advice or use examples from BDMs past to show where they need to shift their thinking? everyone has that friend who freaks out and says shite like "oh i know you're so perfect" or some other dismissive-aggressive response...or the "hey i fricked up OK? don't rub it in" avoidance
Also, it's helpful to show a little empathy in these spots. I've got some friends who made bad decisions because they simply didn't understand their options, so I try to educate them rather than tell them what they did wrong and what they should have done.
I've got other friends who make bad decisions and have no desire to change their ways, so they know there is a standing offer of help from me, but I'm not going to bring it up unless they want to hear it.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:18 am to RogerTheShrubber
Assholes
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:18 am to SlowFlowPro
Honestly a lot of people are jealous of my success- I'm assistant manager. But I couldn't have made it without the big man upstairs. If you're not doing good in life you probably don't go to church enough
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