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re: What's a good way to phrase people who can't accept good fortune of others?
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:32 am to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:32 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
my best personal example is the group of people who did study abroad in law school and took out student loans to pay for it. at the time they said i was crazy for not going, and i had crunched the numbers and they did the "life is more than just numbers..you'll never get to go to europe again. blah blah blah" routine
10 years later i'm about to pay off my student loans and happy i'm not burdened with an extra 15k+ while the same friends who made fun of me for not being fun are drowning in student loan debt (some aren't even paying it). if i say "man i made the right decision. now i can afford to ball out in Europe" they'd lose their fricking minds at me
i know people who did this as well. I don't think there's a "right" or "wrong" decision here. What's right for one may not be right for another. I didn't go either and I do somewhat regret it. I've been blessed to have had the opportunity to go to Europe twice since so that helps but the people in my class who went definitely had a shared experience money can't buy.
1
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:32 am to SlowFlowPro
I think the terms you’re looking for are “miserable” or “losers”
I don’t mean loser in the sense that they don’t have as much as others. I mean loser in the sense that they concstantly whine or complain about not having as much but refuse to realize that it’s bc they aren’t willing to put in the effort it takes. Just easier to blame others and envy what they have, which ultimately makes them miserable.
I don’t mean loser in the sense that they don’t have as much as others. I mean loser in the sense that they concstantly whine or complain about not having as much but refuse to realize that it’s bc they aren’t willing to put in the effort it takes. Just easier to blame others and envy what they have, which ultimately makes them miserable.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:34 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
that's one very common version of the BDM'ing. probably the most
Its engrained. A big part of socializing is making comparisons for self evaluation and trying to fit in, particularly when people are younger. . Add to it the constant pressure to define success in material measures and we have a lot of fricked up people.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:35 am to SaintLSUnAtl
quote:
I don’t mean loser in the sense that they don’t have as much as others. I mean loser in the sense that they concstantly whine or complain about not having as much but refuse to realize that it’s bc they aren’t willing to put in the effort it takes.
I had a bad case of loser denial myself. Until the lacrosse team stuck a parking cone up my arse.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:35 am to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:37 am to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
but the people in my class who went definitely had a shared experience money can't buy.
not to be a dick, but how many of these people aren't paying back their student loans in full? sure life can be enjoyable if you spend money that isn't your's and then expect others to pay it back. i'd hardly call that optimal decision making or the foundation of a good decision making mindset
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:37 am to SaintLSUnAtl
quote:
I mean loser in the sense that they concstantly whine or complain about not having as much but refuse to realize that it’s bc they aren’t willing to put in the effort it takes
Well, a lot of people haven't figured out who they are. Many are still in denial and fearful they are being left behind.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:39 am to rondo
quote:
crab theory braj
very nice. thank you
one thing that has spurned this discussion in my head is this lesson: Jordan Peterson - Good Friends v. Bad Friends
Good friends are friends that:
1. you can tell them bad news and they'll listen
2. you can tell them good news...and they'll help you celebrate
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:39 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
but how many of these people aren't paying back their student loans in full?
i mean i have no idea
quote:
i'd hardly call that optimal decision making or the foundation of a good decision making mindset
optimal decision for you is not necessarily the optimal decision for someone else
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:41 am to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
optimal decision for you is not necessarily the optimal decision for someone else
Bingo. It all depends on what you value.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:43 am to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
optimal decision for you is not necessarily the optimal decision for someone else
that's not how "optimal" works
we're talking stats, expected values, risk-reward, etc. it's all math
you can argue their mindset has created a path allowing them to tell the story that this is the preferred path for their individual pursuits/desires/self, and that's fine. that's their subjectively preferred path and not the objectively optimal decision
your preferred path will almost certainly make you happier (especially in the long term). some people even run so +EV that they never have to face the consequences of that path. still doesn't make it optimal
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:45 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
we're talking stats, expected values, risk-reward, etc. it's all math
I don't think you can boil everything in life down to a math equation, so we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this one. But hey you do you bro.
This post was edited on 2/12/18 at 11:46 am
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:48 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Well, a lot of people haven't figured out who they are. Many are still in denial and fearful they are being left behind.
And that’s perfectly fine. If you are still figuring things out then it’s all good. But if you are still figuring things out while complaining about your situation and hating on someone else, then it’s time to get to work.
I think a lot of people use the “figuring it out” excuse bc they don’t wanna put in the work to succeed. Everyone defines success differently. I’m just saying If you complain constantly but then get off work and grab a six pack and play Madden for 5 hours then STFU.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:49 am to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
I don't think you can boil everything in life down to a math equation
that's the goal
again, this doesn't mean that life is static or you can't adapt to changes. it's about having the best strategy possible to deal with these changes and make the best, calculated decision when they're required.
everyone creates a strategy. the biggest difference is how big they make it. even when you act like your plan is to do nothing, that is a plan at the end of the day. even if you make a plan to let life sweep you up, your still have a plan and you STILL have to make decisions within that paradigm
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:51 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
still doesn't make it optimal
For whom?
Investing may be optimal for you based on pure dollars and cents, while spending and experiencing may be optimal for someone else.
I mean objectively we all know how to accumulate more resources but that's not "optimal" for everyone.
I've got an acquaintance who can't take a vacation unless he finds a way to make money off of it. Sure he's optimizing resources but what's the tradeoff?
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:51 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
that's why it died after 2 episodes
Damn, that's unfortunate.
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:51 am to SaintLSUnAtl
quote:
I think a lot of people use the “figuring it out” excuse bc they don’t wanna put in the work to succeed.
100% correct
it's not even just work, either. people don't want to be subject to the discipline required more than the work itself
discipline is freedom
freedom is happiness
happiness is comptetency
competency is optimal decision-making
competency takes discipline and work
that's the circle
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:52 am to SlowFlowPro
The BDMs are narcissistic, selfish twats.
If you find a cure for that character flaw, please let me know -
If you find a cure for that character flaw, please let me know -
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:53 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
What's a good way to phrase people who can't accept good fortune of others?
Don't be a dick
Don't be an a-hole
Don't be a count
Don't be a twat
Don't be a moron
Don't be a dweeb
Don't be a BDM
Posted on 2/12/18 at 11:53 am to SaintLSUnAtl
quote:
think a lot of people use the “figuring it out” excuse bc they don’t wanna put in the work to succeed.
Or they define personal success much differently than you do
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