re: What would you do if your s/o told you that you cant buy something,

significant other does not mean spouse.

You have reached the watershed moment.
Do your thing or consider all the angles with the woman.
I recommend you both learn to talk about your needs and feelings.

You did not provide enough info. how much money we are talking about. what you want to buy. what she wants you to do with the money.
I presume you have discussed dreams and wishes before this money came.

My biggest fear is that when I get married there will be fights over money.

What I want to do is live in the country, raise good kids, be as self-sufficient as possible (off the grid, grow food, etc.), and be best friends with my husband.

Fighting over money would suck.

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What would you do if your s/o told you that you cant buy something,

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I'd listen. But only because I have kind of taken advantage of her letting me get things lately. I probably spent 4 times the amount of money she does on toys for myself in the last 2 years or so. I used to be the tightwad, so I'd fully understand her telling me I need to cut back on the spending.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is appropriate for those who belong to the Lord.

-Colossians 3:18

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

-I Timothy 2:12

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CatsGoneWild

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CATGOTTAMED is your new name.

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Fighting over money would suck.

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Luckily, you've got your Grandfather's oil money to fall back on.

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My biggest fear is that when I get married there will be fights over money.

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Learn their spending habits before you get married. It'll be pretty obvious whether or not you are compatible.

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Well we know it's not pants

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My wife doesn't like to spend money and she knows there's nothing she can do to stop me from spending it (since I make most of it.). I try to get her to spend money to relieve my guilt - I tell her that she isn't saving money by not buying stuff, it just leaves more for me to spend. The 3 pair of shoes that I typically wear cost $300 - $500. She usually spends about $20 on shoes. She splurged yesterday and spent $40 on boots. I force myself to cope with my guilt though and just keep buying more shite.

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What would you do if your s/o told you that you cant buy something

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Buy it.

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with the bonus check I earned

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Buy it.

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I wanted to spend half of it on something I want/need

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So, buy it.

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but the wife said no

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Definitely buy it.