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re: What would you do - encourage your child to have an extravagant wedding or take the money?
Posted on 8/2/23 at 7:37 pm to SwampyWaters
Posted on 8/2/23 at 7:37 pm to SwampyWaters
Spend it on the wedding, but not on extravagance. Have a wedding that people talk about how fun it was.
Take the money that most people use to be extravagant, and spend on things to make it memorable. Bad arse band, top notch location, good food. Make it a throw down rather than a stuffy reception.
Take the money that most people use to be extravagant, and spend on things to make it memorable. Bad arse band, top notch location, good food. Make it a throw down rather than a stuffy reception.
1
Posted on 8/2/23 at 7:57 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
My first FIL spent a small fortune on our wedding and the wife cheated on me with a high school boyfriend 4 years later.
Sounds like more of a shitty choice for a wife than any issue with what kind of wedding you had
Posted on 8/2/23 at 7:58 pm to SwampyWaters
Financial problems and differences are one of the main causes of marriages failing. Take the money
Posted on 8/2/23 at 7:59 pm to notiger1997
quote:Sure cause it’s easy to tell which ones won’t cheat.
Sounds like more of a shitty choice for a wife
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:14 pm to SwampyWaters
There's almost nothing more financially wasteful than a wedding. I would encourage anyone to spend minimally on a wedding & use the money for practically anything else.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:17 pm to prostyleoffensetime
quote:
Bad arse band, top notch location, good food.
You ain’t doing all this on the cheap
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:27 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
big weddings/receptions are a huge waste of money
My wife is a florist and it amazes me what people spend on just flowers for a wedding. People will drop $15,000 on just flowers and not even blink.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:28 pm to SwampyWaters
Lol my wedding was waste of money but guess it's what mil wanted
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:32 pm to SwampyWaters
Take the money. Or have a extremely small wedding and take a portion of the money
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:37 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
weddings and funerals are for the attendants not the participants,
Funerals, yes. Wedding, though? I am assuming you do not have a daughter who is close to marriage age. Trust me when I say the wedding is for the bride.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:37 pm to thelawnwranglers
besides my me an wife there were 8 other people at my wedding. (and that includes the preacher and his wife)
I love weddings in general but that was fine by me.
take the money.
my oldest daughter was in a smallish wedding last fall and that was enough for her I think. her boyfriend will be harder to sell. dude has been to and in more weddings in the last 3 yrs than I can count. not small ones either.
there's also another option I forgot about. My niece did it a few yrs ago. Have a really really small wedding but have it at some exotic locale. (Hawaii in her case) My parents were too old to make the trip.
I love weddings in general but that was fine by me.
take the money.
my oldest daughter was in a smallish wedding last fall and that was enough for her I think. her boyfriend will be harder to sell. dude has been to and in more weddings in the last 3 yrs than I can count. not small ones either.
there's also another option I forgot about. My niece did it a few yrs ago. Have a really really small wedding but have it at some exotic locale. (Hawaii in her case) My parents were too old to make the trip.
This post was edited on 8/3/23 at 9:36 am
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:39 pm to SwampyWaters
IMO you don’t need to push one way or the other. Listen to what they want and roll with it. They are adults by this point. Not 7 year olds that need to be parented.
I know in our stance we had a nice wedding. FIL offered us money instead. Wife wanted nice wedding and that’s what we did. 11 years later at times my wife will say “hmm prolly should have taken the money huh” but we had the time of our lives that wedding weekend and I know if we would have taken the money my wife would have always said “I sure wish we would have had the wedding of our dreams”
They will look back and question their decision either way. Let them start off their marriage making the choice they want.
I know in our stance we had a nice wedding. FIL offered us money instead. Wife wanted nice wedding and that’s what we did. 11 years later at times my wife will say “hmm prolly should have taken the money huh” but we had the time of our lives that wedding weekend and I know if we would have taken the money my wife would have always said “I sure wish we would have had the wedding of our dreams”
They will look back and question their decision either way. Let them start off their marriage making the choice they want.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:43 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
weddings and funerals are for the attendants not the participants, big weddings/receptions are a huge waste of money
All for one day that the bride and groom will barely remember and ends in divorce 50% of the time.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:44 pm to SwampyWaters
Take the money and get married at the courthouse, if that’s still a thing. 10 years later renew vows when they can afford to have the wedding of the brides dreams. Going into debt over a wedding isn’t the smartest thing, especially for younger people that are probably paying student loans and 84 month car payments.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:49 pm to SwampyWaters
I’d worry more about giving them some long game advice. Stay their asses out of major debt and live well below their means.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 8:52 pm to SwampyWaters
quote:
Have you seen how much a rehearsal dinner at a nice restaurant for around 125 people (they also like to drink) costs?
Who the frick are you inviting to the rehearsal dinner? Cousin Eddie that lives under the sink?
My wife and I paid for most of our wedding.
Our reception (and many of our friends and families receptions) had wine and beer only. It was for us and not for our guests to have a drunk fest. And knowing my guest list we saved five years worth of mortgage just by eliminating the open bar.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 9:10 pm to SwampyWaters
People who don’t spend a lot on a wedding and make it memorable probably think divorce is an option if it doesn’t work out.
Spoiler alert:
If divorce is an option it’s inevitable.
Spoiler alert:
If divorce is an option it’s inevitable.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 9:14 pm to SwampyWaters
You might be ignoring the fact that females dream about their wedding most of their life
It’s a massive event to them
It’s a massive event to them
Posted on 8/2/23 at 9:21 pm to SwampyWaters
Give the money to your son a month prior to the wedding. Let him invest it as he may. He can put it as an added down payment on their first home in his name only, reducing his mortgage while having immediate equity.
Marriages have a 50% success rate these days at best. Pissing significant money away for a wedding ceremony that may or may not survive just so she can have the night of her life is absurd.
Blood is 10x thicker than water.
Marriages have a 50% success rate these days at best. Pissing significant money away for a wedding ceremony that may or may not survive just so she can have the night of her life is absurd.
Blood is 10x thicker than water.
Posted on 8/2/23 at 9:42 pm to SwampyWaters
You allow the bride the wedding she wants within reason.
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