What should I have ready in case of a bad storm?

alcohol

Beer
Lube
Gas
Generator
Laptop with plenty of downloaded porn

Batteries
Gas

Alcohol
gas for car
ambien
phone/laptop/tablet chargers
some snacks
more alcohol

That's all I really need

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Like if I'm evacuating for a hurricane, any tips on what to stock up on/ have on hand?

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Do you have storm shutters? That will save you a bunch of time rather than cutting plywood.

When I was back home I always made sure to have the three B's- bourbon, beans, and bullets. Aside from that flashlight, batteries, axe/hatchet, good pocket knife, rope, radio, high water waiters, boots, gas tank, full tank of gas, full sized spare, and cash, $1000 or so. That's what I can think of off the top of my head anyway, i am sure I left some things out.

Magazine porn, in case of a bad storm you may lose Internet or power, this could render all internet and even electronic porn unaccesable. Terrible situation if that happens and you need to be prepared

Phone charged
Car full of gas
Beer

Too soon, too soon.

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Like if I'm evacuating for a hurricane, any tips on what to stock up on/ have on hand?

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Nothing. You're evacuating. Pack for a road trip. If you need anything other that what you'd pack for vacation, you're not doing it right and that's not evacuation, that's just riding out the hurricane in some shittier place other than your house. Also, evacuation is not waiting until 300,000 other people are on the road. That's also riding out the hurricane in a place way shittier than your house. Leave early. Remember: if you do it right, you just pack for a road trip.

EDIT: I will allow one difference between "evacuation" and "happy road trip funtime". Bring your insurance documentation and important papers with you if they're in your house. They should be vacuum packed in a safe deposit box in the first place, though that's none of my business.

You not from around here?