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What qualities did you look for in your spouse?
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:03 am
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:03 am
When choosing your spouse, did you look for someone who you had a lot in common with in terms of personality, interests, etc. or someone the opposite to fill each other's gaps?
My first go around was someone who had a common personality, but I found that over time it was easy to get into a rut and we never pushed each other outside of our comfort zones to experience new things. Wondering if I should try someone who has an opposite personality so we fill gaps.
My first go around was someone who had a common personality, but I found that over time it was easy to get into a rut and we never pushed each other outside of our comfort zones to experience new things. Wondering if I should try someone who has an opposite personality so we fill gaps.
57
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:06 am to BurningHeart
Don’t “search” for anything in particular. When you find someone who’s right, you will just know.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:07 am to BurningHeart
quote:
Wondering if I should try someone who has an opposite personality so we fill gaps.
You don't need a complete opposite personality and it's generally not recommended
Find someone that's roughly around the same IQ range but in a different career field
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:09 am to Powerman
quote:
but in a different career field
Curious why specifically a different career field?
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:13 am to BurningHeart
quote:
Curious why specifically a different career field?
You're the one looking for someone different
Choosing someone in the same career field is probably one of the best ways not to find someone different
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:21 am to BurningHeart
When things feel right, then you will both fine y'all could make a run at it. It takes both to make it happen. Married 40+ years now and by no means every day was great. It's just the way things are.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:22 am to BurningHeart
I dont think I searched for anything specific.
but she should be attractive. and I dont mean OT attractive, I mean someone that you can look at every day and see beauty- it doesnt matter if she is an ot 9.5 if she annoys you daily.
the best quality my wife has is she loves me for who I am and for who I am not. after 12 years together we still have fun together, I dont dread seeing her, i look forward to it.
plus, she is a doctor about to finish residency so i like her future paychecks
but she should be attractive. and I dont mean OT attractive, I mean someone that you can look at every day and see beauty- it doesnt matter if she is an ot 9.5 if she annoys you daily.
the best quality my wife has is she loves me for who I am and for who I am not. after 12 years together we still have fun together, I dont dread seeing her, i look forward to it.
plus, she is a doctor about to finish residency so i like her future paychecks
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:25 am to BurningHeart
Opposites attract.
But only for a little while.
Your leanings, whether conservative or liberal need to be in harmony as do your views on money and child raising.
Work is a great place to meet as well and you can get a sense if they are lazy, friendly, slutty and have a sense of humor because y’all need to laugh to get through the years.
But only for a little while.
Your leanings, whether conservative or liberal need to be in harmony as do your views on money and child raising.
Work is a great place to meet as well and you can get a sense if they are lazy, friendly, slutty and have a sense of humor because y’all need to laugh to get through the years.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:30 am to Bullfrog
quote:
Opposites attract.
But only for a little while.
Your leanings, whether conservative or liberal need to be in harmony as do your views on money and child raising.
Preach. The novelty of the difference will wear off and will become a source of constant tension
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:38 am to Tortious
Yep.
Be on the same page for religion and politics and money or you will have constant tension. Constant.
Be on the same page for religion and politics and money or you will have constant tension. Constant.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:39 am to BurningHeart
quote:
What qualities did you look for in your spouse?
Dat arse
Been married 33 years. I can honestly say that I did not "look" for anything when I met her. Things just happened
This post was edited on 1/17/20 at 5:41 am
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:42 am to BurningHeart
Likes to frick and cooks. Been together 10+ years
Posted on 1/17/20 at 5:51 am to BurningHeart
The same value system is a must.
If both of your values and morality are rock solid before God - as in you both view yourselves as accountable to God for your actions - you'll survive any trial.
It's about trust. If there's none or doubt what do you really have?
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:00 am to BurningHeart
Huge tits.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:12 am to BurningHeart
I was with a girl for a while who had a lot in common with me. Did everything together. When she left it kind of felt like half of me went with her and took the joy out of a lot of my hobbies for a long time. My current one isn't as fun but has a lot of good qualities. She works hard, is continuing her education, and is really smart. She doesn't give me hell for disappearing in to the swamp for a week when the moon is full. Sometimes I wish that she would take an interest in my hobbies but all in all she is a pretty good package.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:14 am to BurningHeart
Conservative, practical with money and possessions. Goal oriented with something to offer more than just being able to wear a cute dress and do her makeup well.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:17 am to BurningHeart
My mom always told me to find a girl with a good heart. While trying to look at the heart, I got distracted by the titties. So I just went with it
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:24 am to BurningHeart
quote:
but I found that over time it was easy to get into a rut .
Maybe you weren’t ready to be married? I think we all have a tendency to forget that the one we married isn’t the same one later on. We are always evolving. Sometimes that evolution takes spouses in opposing directions. Best case scenario, you evolve on parallel lines and get along perfectly. So life never seems like a “rut” cause you both have the same wants and desires.
More likely scenario is that you evolve differently but care enough about your spouse to accept them and their differences so that your marriage is never in jeopardy. This is difficult and takes work, patience and devotion (some call it love) and you stay together.
But there ain’t no punch list or check list for fluid situations. And marriage, like all of life, is one hell of a fluid situation. Good luck.
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:32 am to BurningHeart
The willingness to let me PIIHB
Posted on 1/17/20 at 6:35 am to BurningHeart
quote:
What qualities did you look for in your spouse?
Being willing to keep my belly full and my balls empty with a smile was a good start, at least pretending to enjoy both was a bonus.
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