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re: What is the worst hook up experience you have ever had?
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:34 pm to TigerStripes06
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:34 pm to TigerStripes06
I've got two of them. I went out on a second date with this girl and went back to her place after drinks. Next thing you know I'm in her room. She takes her clothes off and I start the deed doggy. Well a couple minutes in I start to smell her vag and it was bad. I tried to finish off real quick to get the hell out of there. Well that didn't happen. I threw up on her back. Made some excuse that I think I have food poisoning. Never talked to her again.
Second one this girl was a slut. Tried to give me a bj upstairs under a table at the varsity. Anyway my roommate and I bring back her and her friend. My buddy is hooking up with the other girl at the same time I'm with the slut. Well the sex is so bad that I pretend to orgasm and rub it out in the shower right afterwards to prevent blue balls. After I get out, the two girls rush out of the house. I'm beyond elated. Come to find out the other girl was sitting on my buddy's chest while he was laying down. He felt something tickling his stomach. It was a tampon string. He immediately told her to gtfo
Second one this girl was a slut. Tried to give me a bj upstairs under a table at the varsity. Anyway my roommate and I bring back her and her friend. My buddy is hooking up with the other girl at the same time I'm with the slut. Well the sex is so bad that I pretend to orgasm and rub it out in the shower right afterwards to prevent blue balls. After I get out, the two girls rush out of the house. I'm beyond elated. Come to find out the other girl was sitting on my buddy's chest while he was laying down. He felt something tickling his stomach. It was a tampon string. He immediately told her to gtfo
1
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:36 pm to TigerStripes06
The mayor was a true doofus. Made me proud that I didn't live in the city limits of Alexandria. Somehow I would have known that bit of info before we even left the table of the bar. Couldn't believe what a dumbass the guy was. The other guy wasn't too smart either because getting someone that pissed off could have easily landed him in the ER or the morgue.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:40 pm to oleyeller
My worst was all in one night in New Orleans. I fricked 2 strippers, 1 prostitute, and got robbed by an escort.
I was down for a conference one weekend. Stayed at Hotel Monteleone. I went out one night after having some drinks at the conference dinner...got drunk on Bourbon St...took a couple xanax. Went into a strip club and got a lap dance for 200 and the stripper put a condom on me and rode my dick till I came. I was kinda shocked they'd do that in the dance room, but I liked it so I went and found a hotter dancer and gave her 200. She gave me a line of coke to snort off her arse cheek then fricked me like the previous stripper did. So good night so far.
I head back to my hotel, and a girl who is drunk off her arse grabs my arm. I'm hammered and can barely walk. She wants to come to my room and I'm thinking she is just some drunk chick wanting to frick..so I take her up there and frick her. Then she demands payment and I'm like "You didn't tell me that beforehand I don't have any cash on me" and finally she agreed to me just ordering a burger through room service for her as payment.
Now it's about 3 a.m and I'm like frick it I always wanted to get an escort off of backpage and I'm jacked up on coke and can't sleep. So I call one up who looks pretty good. She gets to the room, gets naked and sucks my dick. I had already paid her 175 bucks...then I find out i don't have any more condoms. She offers to run down the street and buy some and come back and me in my drunken stupor don't think about her having my money. Bitch ran off with the cash and never came back. I was pissed and had maxed out my ATM withdraw limit and had to call the bank the next day to let me use my card so I could get gas to drive home
I was down for a conference one weekend. Stayed at Hotel Monteleone. I went out one night after having some drinks at the conference dinner...got drunk on Bourbon St...took a couple xanax. Went into a strip club and got a lap dance for 200 and the stripper put a condom on me and rode my dick till I came. I was kinda shocked they'd do that in the dance room, but I liked it so I went and found a hotter dancer and gave her 200. She gave me a line of coke to snort off her arse cheek then fricked me like the previous stripper did. So good night so far.
I head back to my hotel, and a girl who is drunk off her arse grabs my arm. I'm hammered and can barely walk. She wants to come to my room and I'm thinking she is just some drunk chick wanting to frick..so I take her up there and frick her. Then she demands payment and I'm like "You didn't tell me that beforehand I don't have any cash on me" and finally she agreed to me just ordering a burger through room service for her as payment.
Now it's about 3 a.m and I'm like frick it I always wanted to get an escort off of backpage and I'm jacked up on coke and can't sleep. So I call one up who looks pretty good. She gets to the room, gets naked and sucks my dick. I had already paid her 175 bucks...then I find out i don't have any more condoms. She offers to run down the street and buy some and come back and me in my drunken stupor don't think about her having my money. Bitch ran off with the cash and never came back. I was pissed and had maxed out my ATM withdraw limit and had to call the bank the next day to let me use my card so I could get gas to drive home
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:40 pm to lsuson
How do you know that you have royally pissed off a barmaid?
She serves you a Bloody Mary and a string is hanging off the side of the glass.
She serves you a Bloody Mary and a string is hanging off the side of the glass.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:41 pm to TigerStripes06
I've been dry-humped till my balls were sore by a girl in a dress who was on her period. Stained my blue jeans. Thanks a lot, Starkville.
Balls were literally fricking bruised on two separate occasions from over aggressive dry-humping that didn't lead to anything awesome happening.
Bled on by a girl who had everything BUT a razor in her nasty, stage 5 hoarder apartment. Got the frick out of there as soon as I discovered the wet brillo pad she called a vagina in her underwear. Found blood all over my sweater and fingers when I got home. She also smelled bad and had bad breath despite the fact that her hair was still wet from a shower - so that was basically as clean as she would ever be. Worst "blind date" ever. Oh, and I got bit by a flea or two while I was there.
Slapped and choked by a crazy drunk girl who I'd known for years.
After typing this out, it's apparent that I have exercised some very poor judgment in my time.
Balls were literally fricking bruised on two separate occasions from over aggressive dry-humping that didn't lead to anything awesome happening.
Bled on by a girl who had everything BUT a razor in her nasty, stage 5 hoarder apartment. Got the frick out of there as soon as I discovered the wet brillo pad she called a vagina in her underwear. Found blood all over my sweater and fingers when I got home. She also smelled bad and had bad breath despite the fact that her hair was still wet from a shower - so that was basically as clean as she would ever be. Worst "blind date" ever. Oh, and I got bit by a flea or two while I was there.
Slapped and choked by a crazy drunk girl who I'd known for years.
After typing this out, it's apparent that I have exercised some very poor judgment in my time.
This post was edited on 6/10/14 at 4:45 pm
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:44 pm to NawlinsTiger9
I'd say most of us have been there at one time or another.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:46 pm to deltaland
quote:
deltaland
Okay, you win.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 4:49 pm to NawlinsTiger9
Honestly, I'm not even going to consider posting my worst one. I've been here too long without sticking out too much...I'm not going to be remembered like that
Posted on 6/10/14 at 5:01 pm to deltaland
That is almost worthy of a movie... a little more material and you may have something...
Posted on 6/10/14 at 5:56 pm to rebeloke
I got two. Not of me but a friend of my dads. My dads friend Ralph was staying with us for a little while and one night he came to the house late after a night of drinking with this women. The living room was dark and they didn't know my dad was sleeping on the couch. They go to the floor and start going at it, the whole time my dad is wide awake but he can only hear whats going on. Then the women says in a exhausted voice "Ralph Ralph Ralph I got to tell you something." Ralph says "Wha whaa". She says "Ralph I was horribly burned on my left side as a child." silence for about 20 seconds then Ralph says "I'll stick to the right." Dad couldn't help it anymore and busted out laughing.
Another one. Ralph again. He passes out drunk on the floor and my horny wire haired fox terrier fricked his balding head all night long. He woke up drenched in dog cum.
Another one. Ralph again. He passes out drunk on the floor and my horny wire haired fox terrier fricked his balding head all night long. He woke up drenched in dog cum.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:20 pm to rebeloke
Went home with e legit OT 8 one night. Get to her room and try to start getting to business. I fingered her for a little while and she beejed me for probably 5 minutes, but she had silk sheets and I kept sliding off of the bed.
Then, she proceeded to put on a fashion show with every single piece of lingerie that she owned and dance on me while I was on her bed, which made me slide off a couple of times again. After about 45 minutes of that, I passed out while she was changing and never did the deed. She got up early the next morning and I was SOL
Then, she proceeded to put on a fashion show with every single piece of lingerie that she owned and dance on me while I was on her bed, which made me slide off a couple of times again. After about 45 minutes of that, I passed out while she was changing and never did the deed. She got up early the next morning and I was SOL
This post was edited on 6/10/14 at 6:29 pm
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:23 pm to Placebeaux
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:30 pm to The Third Leg
Was he a brick mason?
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:34 pm to deltaland
quote:
My worst was all in one night in New Orleans. I fricked 2 strippers, 1 prostitute, and got robbed by an escort.
I gotta say, even though you got robbed by a hooker, that still sounds like a pretty good night.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:42 pm to rebeloke
I haven't read this whole thread, but if no one here's experienced a bed wetter, you're missing out on a whole 'nother level of terrible hookup.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:49 pm to rebeloke
quote:
What is the worst hook up experience you have ever had?
As a gentleman, I don't think it right to kiss and tell about a lady.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:58 pm to KG6
quote:
if no one here's experienced a bed wetter, you're missing out on a whole 'nother level of terrible hookup.
I could do without that one.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 6:59 pm to damnedoldtigah
quote:
if no one here's experienced a bed wetter, you're missing out on a whole 'nother level of terrible hookup.
That happened to me once. forgot about that.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 7:12 pm to SouthOfSouth
The amount of bad I've seen would give most of you boys nightmares I can't even begin to catagorize them. the things I've seen cannot be unseen.but I've also seen the motherland so no regrets amigos.
Posted on 6/10/14 at 7:16 pm to rebeloke
I couldnt jizz because I was unattracted to her, i spit on her back.
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