- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Unexpected Thoughts/Feelings after Losing a Loved One
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:19 am to Geert
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:19 am to Geert
I lost my dad 6 years ago. The hardest part was that he lived nearly 800 miles away and I never got to say bye. My stepmom called me at 9PM and told me he was gone.
She still hasn't gotten completely over it. She lost her brother(whom she was extremely close to) and my dad 3 weeks apart. Then her own dad 2 years later. She's basically a hermit now after everything.
She still hasn't gotten completely over it. She lost her brother(whom she was extremely close to) and my dad 3 weeks apart. Then her own dad 2 years later. She's basically a hermit now after everything.
1
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:20 am to Geert
Prayers for you and your family.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:21 am to Geert
Lost my brother unexpected last year. He was the oldest and the leader of the family and now it's on me.
Having to tell my parents he died destroyed them and hurt me even more.
Now, my dad is in hospice care and it's also taking a physical toll on my mom.
Life is tough and seems unfair, just can't give up..
Having to tell my parents he died destroyed them and hurt me even more.
Now, my dad is in hospice care and it's also taking a physical toll on my mom.
Life is tough and seems unfair, just can't give up..
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:26 am to Geert
After my dad died in hospice which is what we always called an old folks home and my mother passing away at her home six weeks later.. I still have the "what if" question constantly. They passed away 12 years ago. The guilt of leaving my dad in this place all alone knowing he would not come out is the hardest when I had to go back to work six hours away. He was only in there for 10 days.
It will get easier, but not so easier at holidays.
It will get easier, but not so easier at holidays.
This post was edited on 7/26/24 at 6:32 am
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:40 am to Geert
My loss was my elderly mother. She suffered for the last 5 years pretty bad. I hated that there was nothing I could do to help the suffering. Dementia set in towards the end. For about 4 months going to sleep was hard for me. Memories would flood back. It's better now for me and my mother's death was welcomed. She is with the Lord now and hopefully is healed.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 6:43 am to Geert
I lost my mother April 2nd to osteosarcoma. I regret spending so much time working and not seeing her as much in the years leading up to her illness, but I went with her to MDAnderson and took a lot of time off last year. Ironically I got breast cancer myself so I was able to be there in her last few weeks due to being on medical leave. She was more worried about me than herself but that’s the kind of person she was.
I think I did my most heavy grieving when she was still alive. By the time she was gone, I just wanted her suffering to end.
I think I did my most heavy grieving when she was still alive. By the time she was gone, I just wanted her suffering to end.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:03 am to dyslexiateechur
1. Everyone responds to loss differently. And everyone responds differently at different times. Don't judge yourself (or anyone else) for feeling different than someone else who has experienced loss, even if it is the same loved one that you lost.
2. The most unexpected feeling I've ever had after losing someone was joy. I wasn't expecting to be able to recall a memory and laugh or smile as quickly as I have in some cases.
2. The most unexpected feeling I've ever had after losing someone was joy. I wasn't expecting to be able to recall a memory and laugh or smile as quickly as I have in some cases.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:19 am to Geert
The hard part for me was seeing my loved one in a box, dressed up, looking like they were sleeping. And then seeing them moved into their grave. I hate everything funeral because of that.
Funerals are not normal for me. I can't explain it. I understand people wanting "closure" but seeing your loved one like that and hearing people crying and having people come up to you telling you how sorry they are just pissed me off. I hated everything about it. I wish they didn't exist.
When you die, you die. An easy burial and small prayer ceremony without the sight of them would be enough for me.
Whenever I see people posting pics on social media of their loved one in a coffin, it makes me sick. Why? Why do that?
Funerals are not normal for me. I can't explain it. I understand people wanting "closure" but seeing your loved one like that and hearing people crying and having people come up to you telling you how sorry they are just pissed me off. I hated everything about it. I wish they didn't exist.
When you die, you die. An easy burial and small prayer ceremony without the sight of them would be enough for me.
Whenever I see people posting pics on social media of their loved one in a coffin, it makes me sick. Why? Why do that?
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:20 am to Geert
First, condolences to your family.
I can speak to this as my father just passed on the 17th, and we buried him on the 23rd. 96-1/2 years on this earth, he was stricken with CHF more than a decade ago. Through the years, his heart health declined, but being a man of that generation, he was tough old cajun.
He was a devout catholic and we have found strength through his faith and accepting his fate head on. I can not say I have been stricken with sadness, as he lives on in my memory and I was fortunate to have had him in my life doe so long. Where I am finding difficulty is in restful sleep, often waking up around 3AM, thinking of him. I assume this is a form of depression, and know it will pass in time. I believe the acceptance of his passing, the knowing he is not suffering and that my selfish desire to have him with us are all conflicting feelings. As time passes, so will the freshness of this event. Keep your family close, share your feelings with them and with close friends. It really does help to talk about it and if your are predisposed to faith, pray on it.
I can speak to this as my father just passed on the 17th, and we buried him on the 23rd. 96-1/2 years on this earth, he was stricken with CHF more than a decade ago. Through the years, his heart health declined, but being a man of that generation, he was tough old cajun.
He was a devout catholic and we have found strength through his faith and accepting his fate head on. I can not say I have been stricken with sadness, as he lives on in my memory and I was fortunate to have had him in my life doe so long. Where I am finding difficulty is in restful sleep, often waking up around 3AM, thinking of him. I assume this is a form of depression, and know it will pass in time. I believe the acceptance of his passing, the knowing he is not suffering and that my selfish desire to have him with us are all conflicting feelings. As time passes, so will the freshness of this event. Keep your family close, share your feelings with them and with close friends. It really does help to talk about it and if your are predisposed to faith, pray on it.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:27 am to Geert
So sorry your are experiencing this. If you google Grief Share it will take you to a list of groups/classes in your area that have been proven to really help people navigate this season.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:33 am to Geert
This is going to sound horrible but I felt relief.
I was tired of watching my father get worse and knowing what it was doing to him. When the end finally came, I was relieved, for him. It was over.
I loved my father dearly and was with him every step of the way. I miss him terribly.
I was tired of watching my father get worse and knowing what it was doing to him. When the end finally came, I was relieved, for him. It was over.
I loved my father dearly and was with him every step of the way. I miss him terribly.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:35 am to drizztiger
quote:
drizztiger
I’m good, getting married in 2 months & patiently waiting for baseball season
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:39 am to Geert
Relief to be honest. Genuine strain on the family.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:54 am to Geert
I’m sorry for your loss and will add you and your family to my prayer list. One thing I wasn’t expecting was feelings of guilt for anything I ever said that was the least bet negative, or not helping them more, or times that I may have neglected them. Those things are just life though, as nobody is perfect. Your loved ones would not want you to feel that way.
This post was edited on 7/26/24 at 7:55 am
Posted on 7/26/24 at 7:59 am to Geert
quote:
Just lost a family member after a long drawn out death in hospice. Head is spinning. More so for his immediate family (adult children/spouse/siblings). Anyone care to share what you experienced that you didn’t see coming after the death of a close loved one
I'm not sure that anything I felt was unexpected. I've been extremely fortunate to have great counselors and mentors in my life and they always were able to help me see that there is no "right way" to feel about tragedy and loss. I would often run myself ragged thinking about how "I should feel" or "I shouldn't be feeling this way" type thoughts. We go through a roller coaster of emotions and think/ feel all sorts of crazy things and that's okay. It's all part of the process of dealing with pain and loss. I hope this is encouraging to you and gives you some liberty to feel whatever it is you need to feel. God bless.
This post was edited on 7/26/24 at 8:01 am
Posted on 7/26/24 at 8:06 am to Geert
Very sorry for your loss.
I lost a brother a little over a year ago after a long illness. You sometimes find yourself thinking 'I need to call ____ and tell them about ____!' before you catch yourself.....Definitely a strange feeling, albeit brief. That's very common, and does fade with time. Sure is tough to lose family. But remembering the good times helps a lot.
I lost a brother a little over a year ago after a long illness. You sometimes find yourself thinking 'I need to call ____ and tell them about ____!' before you catch yourself.....Definitely a strange feeling, albeit brief. That's very common, and does fade with time. Sure is tough to lose family. But remembering the good times helps a lot.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 8:19 am to Geert
My father passed away in 2017 after 2 years in a nursing home. He had suffered 2 strokes and was in the sad state of being conscious but having diminished mental abilities. He was miserable and tormented because of his state and wanted to die. It was very difficult for the family since he was very intelligent and overall a positive person. He succumbed to septicemia caused by pneumonia. I was okay with his passing since I know his suffering and torment was over with.
My mother passed 5 years later. Her health had been poor for several years. We were not very close but I was sad to see her decline after a major orthopedic surgery.
After their passing I fell into a period of existential angst. I think I have made it through this phase. One of the ways I have coped is by helping others when I can. Doing this reminds me of my father's deeds and actions that made the world a better place by helping his family, friends and community.
My mother passed 5 years later. Her health had been poor for several years. We were not very close but I was sad to see her decline after a major orthopedic surgery.
After their passing I fell into a period of existential angst. I think I have made it through this phase. One of the ways I have coped is by helping others when I can. Doing this reminds me of my father's deeds and actions that made the world a better place by helping his family, friends and community.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 8:28 am to Jim Rockford
quote:
This board is mostly just nonsense, then one of these threads comes up and you realize most of us, or maybe all of us, are hurting in some way.
I think most of us on here talk a lot of crap but get past the stupid topics, sports teams and you have a bunch of guys just trying to get thru life doing the best they can in their jobs, family etc.. We all have our demons i guess and this place just proves it . To the OP sorry for your loss.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 8:39 am to 257WBY
quote:
The gut punch is when you have something that you would share with them and then realize that you can’t pick up the phone and call them. The finality of the loss can be hard.
My mom died 20 years ago and I still have her cell number in my phone. I cannot count the number of times I’ve wanted to call her over the last 2 decades.
Posted on 7/26/24 at 8:50 am to Geert
I pray for God’s peace and comfort over you and your family, in Jesus’ name.
Page 2 of 4
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News