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Posted on 8/16/17 at 3:50 pm to Ajo Devil
What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until the boy is 14 before it comes on his face.
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:06 pm to Ajo Devil
This little dude walks in on his parents having sex.. He asked "what are yall doing?".
His dad looks up and quickly says "uhhhh we are playing poker and your mom is the wild card".
A few days later when he was at his grandparents.. He walks in on them going at it. Same thing. He asked "what are you doing?".. The grandpa says "we are playing poker and your grandmother is the wildcard"..
A few more days go by and he walks in on his brother jerking off. He asks "what are you doing?" His brother hesitates trying to think of something then says "I was playing poker". The little boy asks "where is your wildcard?" The brother responds "you don't need a wildcard when you have a good hand".
His dad looks up and quickly says "uhhhh we are playing poker and your mom is the wild card".
A few days later when he was at his grandparents.. He walks in on them going at it. Same thing. He asked "what are you doing?".. The grandpa says "we are playing poker and your grandmother is the wildcard"..
A few more days go by and he walks in on his brother jerking off. He asks "what are you doing?" His brother hesitates trying to think of something then says "I was playing poker". The little boy asks "where is your wildcard?" The brother responds "you don't need a wildcard when you have a good hand".
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:09 pm to Ajo Devil
Why was the frog waiting at the bus stop?
Because his car got toad.
Because his car got toad.
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:09 pm to Ajo Devil
What's worse than waking up to find out someone drew a penis on your face? Finding out it was traced.
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:13 pm to Ajo Devil
Want to stump an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it's from.
You ever seen R. Kelly's sextape? Urine for a surprise.
What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear the other is a great year.
You ever seen R. Kelly's sextape? Urine for a surprise.
What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear the other is a great year.
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:21 pm to OweO
This thread is a perfect example of why we need population control.
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:22 pm to Ajo Devil
A guy has a talking dog and brings it to a talent scout. This dog can speak, he claims. Okay. The guys says to the dog, what’s on the top of a house?
Roof. The dog replies.
Oh, come on… the agent responds. All dogs go ‘roof’. No, wait, the guy says. He asks the dog what does sandpaper feel like?
Rough. The dog answers.
The agent gives a blank stare and is losing his patience. No, hang on, the guy says. This one will amaze you. He turns and asks the dog:
Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Ruth. Goes the dog.
The scout became pissed. He boots them out of his office onto the street.
The dog turns to his owner and says Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?
What do you call a bunch of Mexican stoners?
Baked beans
Roof. The dog replies.
Oh, come on… the agent responds. All dogs go ‘roof’. No, wait, the guy says. He asks the dog what does sandpaper feel like?
Rough. The dog answers.
The agent gives a blank stare and is losing his patience. No, hang on, the guy says. This one will amaze you. He turns and asks the dog:
Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Ruth. Goes the dog.
The scout became pissed. He boots them out of his office onto the street.
The dog turns to his owner and says Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?
What do you call a bunch of Mexican stoners?
Baked beans
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:27 pm to OweO
quote:
This little dude walks in on his parents having sex.. He asked "what are yall doing?".
His dad looks up and quickly says "uhhhh we are playing poker and your mom is the wild card".
A few days later when he was at his grandparents.. He walks in on them going at it. Same thing. He asked "what are you doing?".. The grandpa says "we are playing poker and your grandmother is the wildcard"..
A few more days go by and he walks in on his brother jerking off. He asks "what are you doing?" His brother hesitates trying to think of something then says "I was playing poker". The little boy asks "where is your wildcard?" The brother responds "you don't need a wildcard when you have a good hand".
that was incredibly not funny
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:28 pm to Ajo Devil
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on the floor?
Matt
Matt
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:28 pm to yessir
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a paper bag?
Russell
Russell
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:29 pm to yessir
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art
Art
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:29 pm to yessir
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob
Bob
Posted on 8/16/17 at 4:49 pm to yessir
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-Calf-inated
Ground Beef
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-Calf-inated
Posted on 8/16/17 at 5:10 pm to Ajo Devil
What do you call a Batman who skips church?
Christian Bale
Christian Bale
Posted on 8/16/17 at 5:11 pm to Ajo Devil
Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
They have a supreme ruler
They have a supreme ruler
Posted on 8/16/17 at 5:53 pm to OhioLSUfan
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A Meowtain
A Meowtain
Posted on 8/16/17 at 5:55 pm to OhioLSUfan
Dyslexic man walks into a rab.
Giraffe walks into a bar and says, "Highballs on me!"
Two atoms walking down a street. First one says, "I think I dropped an electron!" Second one says: "You sure?" First one: "Yeah, I'm positive!"
:rimshot:
Giraffe walks into a bar and says, "Highballs on me!"
Two atoms walking down a street. First one says, "I think I dropped an electron!" Second one says: "You sure?" First one: "Yeah, I'm positive!"
:rimshot:
Posted on 8/16/17 at 6:01 pm to lammo
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He starts swinging the dog in a circle above his head by the leash. The bartender asks "what in the hell are you doing!??" The blind man replied "just looking around".
Posted on 8/16/17 at 6:18 pm to Cdawg
quote:
STFU dude. I just copied it from Jimmy Carr's special.
Then Jimmy Car is wrong too. The funny part of the joke is that a garbanzo bean and a chickpea are actually the same thing.
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