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re: To have kids or not?

Posted on 6/16/19 at 7:48 pm to
Posted by BlackCoffeeKid
Member since Mar 2016
11695 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 7:48 pm to
I'm leaning towards the not having a kid side (various reasons), but I'm still pretty young so that can change.

The aunts and cousins who ask/tell you when do you plan on having a kid at every family gathering can piss off though. Those people are the worst.
This post was edited on 6/16/19 at 7:57 pm
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97614 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 7:52 pm to
I will say that if I didn’t want kids I wouldn’t have gotten married
Posted by BlackCoffeeKid
Member since Mar 2016
11695 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 7:54 pm to
I feel like if you don't want kids you definitely have to have that conversation with your possible fiance before getting engaged.
Be an arse move to mention that after getting married.
Posted by AbitaFan08
Boston, MA
Member since Apr 2008
26537 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:02 pm to
quote:

I don’t know if they felt sorry but laugh internally? Sure


I’ve definitely been out in public and watched parents deal with their kids being unruly little shitheads and felt bad for them.

I’m not even anti-kids. It’s just funny that someone “feels bad” for people without kids as if it’s some elite club.
Posted by LSUA 75
Colfax,La.
Member since Jan 2019
3700 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:04 pm to
I diidn’t get married until I was 30,frankly I was afraid to have kids.From all my acquaintances who had children I determined that having a good kid was a wonderful experience,having a bad kid is your worst nightmare and you live it til the day you die.
I knew so many people that had 3 or 4 children and end up with one that is a criminal or whore or some other problem,their good kids never seem to make up for the misery of the bad one.I can’t believe it was bad parenting that made one kid bad when their other children turn out fine.I believe some people are just born bad for whatever reason, maybe mental illness,brain damage from difficult birth,who knows why.
I was just afraid to take the chance.
Posted by tduecen
Member since Nov 2006
161244 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:06 pm to
If people feel that they need to have kids to "complete" themselves or feel "love" then so be it. The high and mighty attitude over it is for the birds though
This post was edited on 6/16/19 at 8:06 pm
Posted by BlackCoffeeKid
Member since Mar 2016
11695 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:06 pm to
quote:

,having a bad kid is your worst nightmare and you live it til the day you die.

This scares the hell out of me as well. Especially if I'm the reason they're screwed up.
Not to mention I don't think I'd be able to handle a mentally handicapped child. It just wouldn't be a good situation for anyone.
Posted by Sun God
Member since Jul 2009
44874 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:15 pm to
quote:

If people feel that they need to have kids to "complete" themselves or feel "love" then so be it. The high and mighty attitude over it is for the birds though

I get what you’re saying but that mindset cuts both ways
Posted by tduecen
Member since Nov 2006
161244 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:24 pm to
It certainly does... There are plenty of people perfectly happy and content in their lives that don't have children and plenty that have children that could see no other alternative. However you have shitty parents and miserable single people. To try and classify one group or another is foolish and shoes how out of touch you are imo
Posted by Hulkklogan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Oct 2010
43296 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:25 pm to
quote:

If people feel that they need to have kids to "complete" themselves or feel "love" then so be it. The high and mighty attitude over it is for the birds though




I was happy and loved without being a parent, but it's just different. Not something that makes one better than someone without kids, but just profoundly different than any other love I've felt personally. I do agree that until someone has a child they probably don't fully understand the depth of emotion they are tied to your children.

But I agree, some people start looking down on those without kids or act like their having a child makes them better.. those people are assholes
This post was edited on 6/16/19 at 8:26 pm
Posted by Sweltering Chill
Member since Aug 2017
2150 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:56 pm to
quote:

Not to mention I don't think I'd be able to handle a mentally handicapped child.



I dont think enough people consider this possibility.. having kids can be a really tough deal, and expensive- but add to that physical or mental disability, and just know that you’ll need to spend every waking moment providing care for that child, as well as almost every dime you’ll ever earn, and more... I think those kids can be amazing, and would probably enrich your life even more than a “normal” kid would- but if someone is considering having children and isn’t prepared for the possibility that they could have a child who is autistic, cerebral palsy or whatever (it happens A LOT)- then IMO that person has no business having kids.

I dont have kids btw.
Posted by X82ndTiger
USA
Member since Sep 2004
2464 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 8:58 pm to
Kids are a blessing and are awesome even through bad times. Love my kids.
Posted by Sun God
Member since Jul 2009
44874 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 9:33 pm to
quote:

It certainly does... There are plenty of people perfectly happy and content in their lives that don't have children and plenty that have children that could see no other alternative. However you have shitty parents and miserable single people. To try and classify one group or another is foolish and shoes how out of touch you are imo

Agreed totally
Posted by tduecen
Member since Nov 2006
161244 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 9:37 pm to
frick I said "shoes" instead of "shows"
Posted by Sun God
Member since Jul 2009
44874 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 10:02 pm to
Well shite now I disagree totally
Posted by supadave3
Houston, TX
Member since Dec 2005
30234 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 10:18 pm to
quote:

Not to mention I don't think I'd be able to handle a mentally handicapped child.


This isn't a popular thing to say but so very true. Having a severely mentally disabled child that would never have a chance to leave the home on their own would be such a blow. I know parents love those children too and they make the best of it, but that would be extremely life altering.

Not to hijack the thread, but I often wonder what people would do, truly do, if they found out 3 months into a pregnancy that their child is going to have Downs Syndrome or something similar like Cerebral Palsy. I'm pro-life, but objective enough to realize that hearing that as a prospective parent would be Earth shattering. I can't help but think it would give pause to even the most pro-life parents out there.
This post was edited on 6/16/19 at 10:22 pm
Posted by List Eater
Htown
Member since Apr 2005
23560 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 10:26 pm to
quote:

100% agree.

Except for right now. I might trade him for a 30 minute nap, if I could have him back once I wake up.

New sleep pattern, who dis?

Teething has changed the night situation for sure.
Posted by GeauxtigersMs36
The coast
Member since Jan 2018
7698 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 10:50 pm to
My daughter and wife are out of town (6 months old) I’m so bored without her to feed or play or just watch baseball with me. Slowest week ever.
This post was edited on 6/16/19 at 11:00 pm
Posted by Sun God
Member since Jul 2009
44874 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 10:57 pm to
quote:

My daughter and wife are out of town (6 months old) I’m so bored with her to feed or play or just watch baseball with me. Slowest week ever

Now this is a viewpoint I find insane
Posted by GeauxtigersMs36
The coast
Member since Jan 2018
7698 posts
Posted on 6/16/19 at 11:01 pm to
I’ve FaceTimed them 5 times today. She’s my buddy.
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