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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 3/26/18 at 2:24 pm to madmaxvol
quote:
my dad is sitting in a 3-piece pin striped suit and refers to me as Sir for the rest of the night.
Your dad is AWESOME
Posted on 3/26/18 at 2:29 pm to nickrolled
Great thread. Used to have threads like this all the time.
I came up with chat rooms just becoming a thing. So I would talk to these chicks online. Getting catfished for sure. I then would print their pictures out and show my podnahs at school. (I was probably 12 years old)
No way these girls were real. I still feel shame every now and then.
I came up with chat rooms just becoming a thing. So I would talk to these chicks online. Getting catfished for sure. I then would print their pictures out and show my podnahs at school. (I was probably 12 years old)
No way these girls were real. I still feel shame every now and then.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 2:37 pm to TygerTyger
quote:
TygerTyger
The way you described the situation, the in-depth vocabulary, made this story 100x as funny as it already was.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 2:50 pm to Babble
quote:
I wrote “I love (girl’s name)” on my pencil case in second grade. Some little a-hole told on me in front of the entire class. For what, I dont know. I didnt do anything wrong. The teacher and the entire class looked at me, and she said “Is this true?” as if I just killed someone. Cried in front of the entire class. Still to this day remember the look on the girl’s face as the kid told on me.
This one got me for some reason. Trying not to laugh like a fool at work. Why did the teacher ask "Is this true?" WTF?!?
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:19 pm to drunkenpunkin
I have a nephew with Asperger syndrome. I feel your pain. Sometimes they say strange stuff. He was into making cringe videos for awhile til my brother stopped it.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:22 pm to madmaxvol
Your dad deserves a steak dinner
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:25 pm to nickrolled
Here is mine..
I went on a first date with this cute guy. Picked him up at his place since he lived just down the road and he seems super chill at first. Things get off to a great start, no awkwardness no sign of crazy or anything.
Then we get to dinner and he starts getting awkward. He tells me he is so nervous because I'm so hot. Ok, slight cringe but I let it slide and write it off as first date jitters. It was all downhill from there. He proceeds to start ordering shot after shot and is drunk as all get out by the time we leave the restaurant.
We proceed to a bar, which had a side bar where people were doing karoake. He insists on doing this, so I roll with it. My spidey senses were telling me this date was going off the rails, but I gave him a pass because he was really cute and a nice guy.
Then he gets on stage to sing. And starts crying. And tells the bar we are on a date and that he already thinks he loves me. WTF.
I wanted to crawl under a table, run out the door, do anything, but i just sat there cringing while the entire crowd is staring at me then at him then at me and laughing their asses off.
He breaks into a 90's love ballad, I can't even remember which one because I was so flustered, but it was awful in every way.
By the end of the song he is full on sobbing. I am completely bewildered. He reaffirms his love for me before leaving the stage. I'm dead inside.
I close my tab and we leave. He realizes he fricked it up and sobbed the entire awkward ride home until I dropped him off never to talk to him again. I'll never understand it, sort of like the guy who cried at work earlier in the thread said. It was beyond weird.
Months later I go to that bar thinking no one would remember. The bartender takes my order and jokingly says "i think im in love with you" that was you wasnt it? 
I went on a first date with this cute guy. Picked him up at his place since he lived just down the road and he seems super chill at first. Things get off to a great start, no awkwardness no sign of crazy or anything.
Then we get to dinner and he starts getting awkward. He tells me he is so nervous because I'm so hot. Ok, slight cringe but I let it slide and write it off as first date jitters. It was all downhill from there. He proceeds to start ordering shot after shot and is drunk as all get out by the time we leave the restaurant.
We proceed to a bar, which had a side bar where people were doing karoake. He insists on doing this, so I roll with it. My spidey senses were telling me this date was going off the rails, but I gave him a pass because he was really cute and a nice guy.
Then he gets on stage to sing. And starts crying. And tells the bar we are on a date and that he already thinks he loves me. WTF.
I wanted to crawl under a table, run out the door, do anything, but i just sat there cringing while the entire crowd is staring at me then at him then at me and laughing their asses off.
He breaks into a 90's love ballad, I can't even remember which one because I was so flustered, but it was awful in every way.
By the end of the song he is full on sobbing. I am completely bewildered. He reaffirms his love for me before leaving the stage. I'm dead inside.
I close my tab and we leave. He realizes he fricked it up and sobbed the entire awkward ride home until I dropped him off never to talk to him again. I'll never understand it, sort of like the guy who cried at work earlier in the thread said. It was beyond weird.
Months later I go to that bar thinking no one would remember. The bartender takes my order and jokingly says "i think im in love with you" that was you wasnt it?
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:34 pm to 1LoudTideFan
Damn I want you right now.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:35 pm to 1LoudTideFan
quote:
Then he gets on stage to sing. And starts crying. And tells the bar we are on a date and that he already thinks he loves me. WTF
How old were you and this guy at the time?
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:41 pm to TygerTyger
quote:
TygerTyger
Incredible storytelling. Thank you
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:41 pm to buffbraz
quote:
Why did the teacher ask "Is this true?" WTF?!?
That’s what made the story for me
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:44 pm to jchamil
I was 31, he was 33 or 34.
This post was edited on 3/26/18 at 3:46 pm
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:53 pm to 1LoudTideFan
quote:
Posted by Message
1LoudTideFan
:wowgif:
Posted on 3/26/18 at 3:55 pm to TygerTyger
quote:
One says "that was the foulest thing I've ever smelled, you need to go to a hospital man."
Posted on 3/26/18 at 4:00 pm to chinhoyang
quote:
2. In Church with the entire family on Easter Sunday. Sister on one side of me, cousin Chuck on the other. Preacher announces that this kid, with a high squeaky Texas drawl voice was going to sing a solo. It was god awful. I tell myself that if I look over at Chuck or my sister I'm going to crack up. I finally look at Chuck, he breaks up and I break up then my sister breaks up.
this reminds me of a fun story (not embarrassing). my family doesn't do religion, but my sister (no pics) went to a catholic school. on all of her religion homework assignments, my dad would always tell her to put "god is love" as the answer for everything. he'd be like "well it's not wrong, is it? they can't count it as wrong." Became a running joke for years and years, any time she would ask for help on homework, our whole family would just say "god is love."
Fast forward - sister is graduating high school. My parents, my brother, and I are all at the ceremony. the priest is giving his spiel and he's like "I want to leave you all with 3 words today. 3 words that you can always think of in times of trouble. 3 words that can calm you in the most difficult of situations. 3 words to live by. Just 3 simple words."
At this point my brother and I are holding our breath. We know it's coming. We look at our dad, who is trying not to look at us, but he has the slightest hint of a grin.
"God.
Is.
Love."
My sister's head shoots over to us from the crowd of graduates and we all just explode with laughter. The assembly hall is really quiet and everyone is looking at us like wtf. Yall know how things are 100x funnier when you have to laugh quietly (think the ahoy matey story, omg i can only imagine lmao), and this was no exception. We couldn't stop laughing for the remainder of the ceremony. My sister is walking the stage and posing for the camera and she just can't stop laughing. Some of the most cathartic laughs of my entire life
This post was edited on 3/26/18 at 4:08 pm
Posted on 3/26/18 at 4:01 pm to Ed Osteen
My 10th grade English teacher left for a few weeks because her husband died, and the day she came back she told us we had a secret guess speaker coming that week and I said (not intentional) oh it's her husband Mr.####. Half the class thought I did it on purpose and the other half thought I was just a clueless idiot, and I was indeed the second one.
I never said another word in that class the entire year.
I never said another word in that class the entire year.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 4:08 pm to whit
quote:
You have no idea how bad it haunts me I was just thinking about while brushing my teeth this morning. I cringed hard and said “frickin idiot!” This was 10 plus years ago
I did something similar at my brother's rehearsal dinner. As the best man I had gone over my speech basically the whole month before so I thought I had it down pat. I'm not big on speaking in front of large crowds so it was kind of nerve wracking leading up to it but I wasn't really scared to do it. I was pretty much pressured to stand up before I was ready to speak by my damn mom. Well I had been drinking an hour or so before kind of heavily and when my turn came I fricking completely bombed it. It was like my mind went completely blank and I couldn't even get a word out. I wasn't even in control of my mouth or brain at that point. I think I said about 5 words and sat down with what felt like a beet red face. Most of those people I had never met before. Like you said to this day I think about it and it makes me cringe and that was like over 5 years ago
This post was edited on 3/26/18 at 4:09 pm
Posted on 3/26/18 at 4:15 pm to 1LoudTideFan
Here is mine..
I went on a first date with this hot girl. She picked me up at my place since I lived just down the road and I'm super chill. Things get off to a great start, no awkwardness, she doesn't show any sign of crazy or anything.
Then we get to dinner and things start getting awkward. I tell her I'm so nervous because she's so hot, she didnt seem to mind because so am I. I was hoping this was just first date jitters and I would shake back. I proceed to start ordering shot after shot and I'm drunk as all get out by the time we leave the restaurant.
We proceed to a bar, which had a side bar where people were doing karoake. I insist on doing this (I've been called the song-bird of my generation), so she rolls with it. My heart was telling me just go for it big guy, and she's hot so I just go for it.
Then I get on stage to sing. And I start crying. And I tell the bar we are on a date and that I already think I love her.
I wasnt sure if she was into it at first, but she just sat there smiling while the entire crowd is staring at her then at me then at her and can see the love is in the air.
I break into a 90's love ballad, I can't even remember which one because I was so into it, I fricking nail it!
By the end of the song I'm full on sobbing. She is completely serenaded. I reaffirm my love for her before leaving the stage. I'm pumped, because I know she loved it.
I close my tab and we leave. I realize this one is in the bag, we were headed back to my place to seal the deal. She must have gotten a txt about an emergency because we get to my place and she just rolls out frantically. I'll never understand it, sort of like the guy who cried at work earlier in the thread said, but this was really working out for me. It was beyond weird because I never heard from her again when I just knew we were meant to be.
A few months later I go to that bar hoping they would remember me. The bartender takes my order and jokingly says "i think im in love with you" that was you wasnt it?
I went on a first date with this hot girl. She picked me up at my place since I lived just down the road and I'm super chill. Things get off to a great start, no awkwardness, she doesn't show any sign of crazy or anything.
Then we get to dinner and things start getting awkward. I tell her I'm so nervous because she's so hot, she didnt seem to mind because so am I. I was hoping this was just first date jitters and I would shake back. I proceed to start ordering shot after shot and I'm drunk as all get out by the time we leave the restaurant.
We proceed to a bar, which had a side bar where people were doing karoake. I insist on doing this (I've been called the song-bird of my generation), so she rolls with it. My heart was telling me just go for it big guy, and she's hot so I just go for it.
Then I get on stage to sing. And I start crying. And I tell the bar we are on a date and that I already think I love her.
I wasnt sure if she was into it at first, but she just sat there smiling while the entire crowd is staring at her then at me then at her and can see the love is in the air.
I break into a 90's love ballad, I can't even remember which one because I was so into it, I fricking nail it!
By the end of the song I'm full on sobbing. She is completely serenaded. I reaffirm my love for her before leaving the stage. I'm pumped, because I know she loved it.
I close my tab and we leave. I realize this one is in the bag, we were headed back to my place to seal the deal. She must have gotten a txt about an emergency because we get to my place and she just rolls out frantically. I'll never understand it, sort of like the guy who cried at work earlier in the thread said, but this was really working out for me. It was beyond weird because I never heard from her again when I just knew we were meant to be.
A few months later I go to that bar hoping they would remember me. The bartender takes my order and jokingly says "i think im in love with you" that was you wasnt it?
Posted on 3/26/18 at 4:15 pm to madmaxvol
quote:
My dad was wearing a t-shirt and had been working in his garden (covered in dirt). I ask him, in a pretty shitty way, if he can clean up before I get back with my date. We get back to the house and my dad is sitting in a 3-piece pin striped suit and refers to me as Sir for the rest of the night.
That's fricking awesome
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