re: The Bitterness of Missing Out on Love

Thanks for making me appreciate my wife just a little more.

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A very outdated mindset IMO. I've tried to man up and it didn't work. Being an introvert doesn't make dating easy. You make it sound like "getting some pussy" is easy. If it was actually easy I wouldn't be a virgin and in this situation.

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Dude, getting pussy is very easy if you pull out your wallet. You're in your mid-30's, obviously self-conscious...what the frick do you think the pressure of being with a woman you like for the first time is going to do to you? Either your dick won't work from the pressure of the moment/overthinking, if she doesn't want to go out again you'll blame yourself for not knowing how to frick her right, and you're going to be right back at square one but with an even more defeatist outlook.

Seriously, get on Craiglist, Tinder, something...just get the whole virginity thing out of the way. They're hookers, they aren't there for conversation. You say you're an introvert...they don't want to hear you talk anyway. They want you to bust a nut so they can leave ASAP.

It's not an "outdated mindset". It's a big ole hurdle you MUST clear before you will have ANY confidence with a woman. At your age, you're going to be dealing with 'experienced' women....if you don't get some pussy before you try to jump into the game, your tendency to look down on these women will increase tenfold when you hear them speak of their experiences and you share yours. You'll be very resentful, embarrassed, and take it out on them, putting yourself right back into the single boat.

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In my experience, people who are cocksure atheists tend to have a personality that doesn't mesh well with women... or with a lot of men, honestly.

It's normal to look at religion and church people and think they're pretty silly. But it takes a certain kind of person to make the leap from that to full-blown atheism, and part of that is typically a full dose of pussy-dessicating arrogance.

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I guess you find atheists enjoyable to be around... really? Like, people who bitch about being born "in a time before others stopped believing in magic sky fairies?"

Well, have fun with that... I think I'd rather watch a slow-motion replay of a PTA meeting.

Actually you may need this female friend, as a friend, more than you know. Talking to her may get your head more straight in these matters. If she is someone you can trust and eventually just have good talks with, and you both know your just friends and nothing else, it seems like a good idea to me.

You know, you don't have to have sex with a date on the first few dates. It seems as tho you feel you may be "pushed" into after a few dates. And, you never know, if you never want to have sex, it may be ok with her. I think most of your issues are between your ears, not cause you are mental, but you overthink. Talk to a shrink if needed, but life is too short to be not where you want to be.

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our life is just starting and still ahead of us, we can do anything" type of love.

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Why does age matter in this? Why can’t you find this now? You need to accept that every one has different experiences in life. Just because you haven’t experienced this love doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Just because others found this type of love earlier doesn’t mean they haven’t experienced loss or pain. Accept your experiences and be open to new ones.

Look man, you need to drop the romantic fairy tale love fantasy and also stop judging women on their past. You have greater odds of winning $100k scratch off than you do of finding a 30-36 year old woman without some baggage you might not want. You obviously don’t even know what real love is. You have to love the person and all that she brings to the table. That is not a sudden thing. It takes time. Start widening your boundaries. Surely you have met a woman somewhere along the line who is pretty and sweer( at least on the surface) and has been divorced...or has a kid or two from a previous relationship. Guess what man, you can easily fall in love with that person and have your entire life re-defined from single mid 30s guy to confident boyfriend/husband/ step dad/mentor. Lose the selfishness and be willing to give back and love that woman and all that comes with her. Open your horizons man. Your selection pool is not going to be that of a 26 year old. That’s past, keep it in the past and move forward. You are young still. No sense in all this self deprecating bull shite. Be a man and act like a man. No woman in your selection pool is going to want some dude looking for a mid 20s style relationship. They want a responsible, strong, confident man. Act like one. And nobody in that pool is going to give a damn about your sexual inexperience. You don’t even need to tell her that until after you have had sex. Don’t go off on some self pity speech telling her you are a virgin. She won’t ask (unless she is 26 or under) so don’t even get into it. Just tell her you have dated and haven’t found the right one for a long term relationship. If you clam up the first time you have sex just tell her you are nervous because you like her so much and really want it to be special. You will settle down and get it right. You will be a pro in short order. But look buddy, stop with the self deprecating crap and get busy being the man I know you can be. Okay? Thanks

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You just need to get laid... Get that thirst for the poon.

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This. You want a woman but what you really need is a good whore. Go get your frick on, seriously.

I happen to know a woman that is 46, never been married, no kids and has a good job. Oh and she’s hot. Her single fatal flaw is that she has an opinion on EVERYTHING whether you want to hear it or not. If you’re deaf, she’s the one for you.