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Started By
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re: Single dads: do goodbyes get easier?
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:41 am to Gravitiger
Posted on 7/13/24 at 1:41 am to Gravitiger
quote:
Your first post seemed to suggest the lawyer who billed you for emails was gouging you,
That was my dentist friend's lawyer, not mine. Largely due to his ex-wife, who was a brand of crazy that... It didn't involve lethal weapons, but FM, she's one of the most horrible people I've ever met.
Because of no results for years with his case (I think 3-4 lawyers), I skipped a lawyer and went to a mediator (essentially pro se, which I'm probably using incorrectly.)
I won't accuse anyone of gouging. One decides to pay for a service, or not. I either want a generator shipped in from OK at $1,500 now, or I'll buy it for $800 two weeks from now. My choice.
Totally off topic, if anyone wants to meet up for England Spain Sunday, I know a 12-top that will be watching a 20' screen.
1
Posted on 7/13/24 at 2:01 am to TexasTiger08
I’m glad to hear you’re doing better and that everything turned out great with her being your daughter.
You will have her forever and no one can take that away from you, except you. Cherish it
You will have her forever and no one can take that away from you, except you. Cherish it
Posted on 7/13/24 at 2:04 am to LemmyLives
quote:
Mine doesn't. She's a shark. Her husband is rich and retired (as I assume she is,) and she does this to keep her mind stimulated, apparently. I scheduled a 15m intro call with her, and asked her how to pay for it, she brushed me off, and spent an hour on the phone with me hearing my sob story, no charge. I tried to pay her. She refused to even take a consult fee.
That’s a fairytale, dude. Lawyers have to earn a living as well—no fee consultation is to get your business
Posted on 7/13/24 at 2:23 am to LemmyLives
quote:A really good, reasonable, experienced, unbiased mediator is worth their weight in gold. There is a lot of value in having someone calm who isn't the judge or the attorneys telling the parties what is what.
Because of no results for years with his case (I think 3-4 lawyers), I skipped a lawyer and went to a mediator (essentially pro se, which I'm probably using incorrectly.)
Unfortunately, many churn the billable hours as much or more than the attorneys (often at higher rates, because they are "experts" in the particular area of law), then just report back to the court that they couldn't get the parties to agree.
I will stop derailing the thread now lol. Very sorry to hear what OP has gone/is going through.
This post was edited on 7/13/24 at 2:33 am
Posted on 7/13/24 at 2:26 am to TexasTiger08
Same thing with my cousin. He offered her $50k for full custody. She & the sorry guy she ran off with took it & hauled arse.
Maybe that's an option for you. I hope the best for you.
Maybe that's an option for you. I hope the best for you.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 2:31 am to This GUN for HIRE
quote:Geez that is terrible. Just this week I heard a story from someone whose ex-husband signed away his parental rights in exchange for some relatively trivial consideration (to avoid a probation violation or something like that). I can't imagine.
Same thing with my cousin. He offered her $50k for full custody. She & the sorry guy she ran off with took it & hauled arse.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 2:57 am to TexasTiger08
Do whatever you need to do to fight for shared custody. It gets easier.
The first christmas after separation... 2015. Kids 3 and tickled to death, one of his first good dad sessions since we split...
Its time to take him home.. even at 3 he knew the way back to moms house... as soon as we passed his daycare and he realized where we were going he starts screaming.
Making me tear up even thinking about it. I was so gd mad at her and i had to get her to come get him out of the car because he was mad at ME for taking him back. As if i had a choice.
He's 12 in a few weeks. Ended up costing me around 7500 to get shared custody and has been worth every penny. I paid monthly installments. Make them work with you.
The first christmas after separation... 2015. Kids 3 and tickled to death, one of his first good dad sessions since we split...
Its time to take him home.. even at 3 he knew the way back to moms house... as soon as we passed his daycare and he realized where we were going he starts screaming.
Making me tear up even thinking about it. I was so gd mad at her and i had to get her to come get him out of the car because he was mad at ME for taking him back. As if i had a choice.
He's 12 in a few weeks. Ended up costing me around 7500 to get shared custody and has been worth every penny. I paid monthly installments. Make them work with you.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 3:29 am to mikelbr
Unlike your situation, I earned my weekend dad life. Please don't lose faith in women, get help and get better. I recommend that you accept that you will be force-fed a load of shite from mom and stepdad, you have to stay focused on your child's wellbeing. They will try everything to push you away but hanging in there will build the child's value in herself which will be poor if you let the bastards win. She can be the best thing that will happen to you and you will learn things about selflessness and love that you never learn as a traditional dad.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 4:55 am to tigersbb
quote:
If you are able to handle full custody it seems you have a good chance of succeeding in getting it unless you have some undisclosed issues that might even the playing field. You didn't abandon your child's future home, she did.
The courts don’t always see it the way we would see this situation. Guy I used to work with ex took a bunch of pills trying to commit suicide with kids present during her visitation. She went to psych hospital. A few months after she got out judge gave her visitation again.
I had a similar situation to you 25 years ago. I waited and knew my ex would frick up. She eventually did and I spent 15K in legal fees getting full custody of my daughter. Best money I ever spent.
This post was edited on 7/13/24 at 4:58 am
Posted on 7/13/24 at 5:04 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
am new to fatherhood. I have a 5-month old daughter. Unfortunately, her mom went with Jody before she was even born. The divorce isn’t final yet. I see her a couple of times a week.
Have you considered renewing your vows?
Posted on 7/13/24 at 5:12 am to Winston Cup
Zip it
Posted on 7/13/24 at 5:19 am to Clark14
Clark14 is right.... Not seeing your kid will actually make u a BETTER Dad, it's hard to explain... but the time spent apart teaches you how to do things when your together. Dont get caught up in the pretend world of getting custody, Court won't let that happen. Pay your support like it's no big deal and keep moving
Posted on 7/13/24 at 5:43 am to tgrmeat
quote:
Damn. What kind of psycho steals a pregnant woman?
Definitely one of those guys who needs his arse kicked.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 5:49 am to tgrmeat
quote:
What kind of psycho steals a pregnant woman?
Kidding!
Posted on 7/13/24 at 5:49 am to TexasTiger08
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/4/25 at 7:02 pm
Posted on 7/13/24 at 6:02 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
Yes I did. She told me she was pregnant and that she loved someone else within about 20 minutes.
Sounds like a story arc to a soap opera or a topic for the Jerry Springer show.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 6:32 am to TexasTiger08
God didn’t create your heart to have a void in it. If it feels like there’s a piece missing, God will fill it with something, most likely in your situation, a woman who will give you what you need and weren’t getting from your wife. Be patient in affliction and joyful in hope. It’s coming. Focus on being the best version of yourself you can be because your new life is coming soon. Be ready.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 6:48 am to TexasTiger08
Get a good lawyer and create a game plan to get shared custody and equal time.
Not easy and not cheap, but it can be done.
Not easy and not cheap, but it can be done.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 6:59 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
It breaks my heart to know she will spend more time with a POS potential stepdad.
My situation was different. My son was 11 when we divorced. He was about 14 when his mom remarried. We had a true 50/50 custody arrangement and with baseball, etc that he was involved in I saw him often on the week he wasn’t with me. His “stepdad” never tried to be anything more than maybe a big brother type figure. He has never overstepped whatsoever. Him disciplining has never been an issue because my son was always a good respectful kid. But any kind of father son talks that needed to be had were understood would be done by me. Of course, the stepdad in my situation wasn’t a scumbag that would steal his best friend’s pregnant wife so my story may not have much relevance. I guess I’m just encouraging you that it can be done. It won’t be easy but it’s worth it. It sounds like you love your little girl so you’ve definitely got what it takes on your end. Hang in there.
Posted on 7/13/24 at 7:01 am to TexasTiger08
Kill the whore mother
enjoy 100% custody
enjoy 100% custody
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