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Started By
Message
re: SFPTOTD: how is working towards a solution not validating a woman's stress?
Posted on 6/18/18 at 8:56 pm to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 6/18/18 at 8:56 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
this thread is about the claim that validation is necessary, so the recipient is important (not only b/c it's alleged that an emotional connection is necessary and also that this is a sign of trust, but also because you have to have a response of validation and it's more likely from a person emotionally invested)
It may be true that validation from a person with whom you have an emotional connection is better, although it may not be necessary, since the whole idea of validation suggest an emotional weakness with the person that needs validation.
So i think the real conversation should be why people feel the need to be validated by anyone. Its the same question as to why people are offended by words that arent true.
2
Posted on 6/18/18 at 8:58 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
but sometimes I just want a gold star for how hard I work
Posted on 6/18/18 at 8:58 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
and i'm not trying to say something generic like "women are irrational".
I mean, that’s your answer though.
quote:
i'm more asking why we accept "irrational" as the solution when there is a perfectly logical option that doesn't even negate the emotional-irrational needs (contrary to the poor arguments in those articles)
Because women aren’t logical. It’s just that simple. There is no convincing women of the logical solution most times.
I’ll tell my wife the logical and rational solution to her problem and she’ll ignore it. Then “think” of my solution later as her own.
This post was edited on 6/18/18 at 9:00 pm
Posted on 6/18/18 at 8:59 pm to Graham Wellington Jr
quote:
So i think the real conversation should be why people feel the need to be validated by anyone.
i have no idea. weakness i guess. lack of autism perhaps
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:02 pm to SlowFlowPro
I think part of the issue here is that women typically have the desire to want to talk whereas men typically don't.
I think women will talk up to 10 times the amount that men will.
Thus, the woman needs something to talk about, hence the need to have "problems", giving women a reason to speak.
Men, on the other hand, would just rather fix the issue and move on. No need to talk about it.
I think women will talk up to 10 times the amount that men will.
Thus, the woman needs something to talk about, hence the need to have "problems", giving women a reason to speak.
Men, on the other hand, would just rather fix the issue and move on. No need to talk about it.
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:03 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i have no idea. weakness i guess. lack of autism perhaps
A lack of the complete confidence that only a god would have.
But we should strive for that. It is tough because our status and relationships shape our confidence.
This post was edited on 6/18/18 at 9:06 pm
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:07 pm to SlowFlowPro
Gold stars are an ongoing joke in my life. Stickers in my cube, Dad sent me some, I got a gold star necklace. Those close to me know what drives me 
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:09 pm to SlowFlowPro
I am all about fixing shite and solutions. If I am bitching about work, it is wayyyy bigger than me and it is hopeless. 
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:11 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
Stickers in my cube, Dad sent me some, I got a gold star necklace. Those close to me know what drives me
Rouge is about to come in and make a comment/remark about your submissive side making you eager to please/prove yourself
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:16 pm to SlowFlowPro
Good example: If you watched DBZ
Vegeta- He needed validation constantly. Very human like.
Goku - Never needed validation from anyone. Very god like.
We will always need validation from each other, but we can strive not to.
Vegeta- He needed validation constantly. Very human like.
Goku - Never needed validation from anyone. Very god like.
We will always need validation from each other, but we can strive not to.
This post was edited on 6/18/18 at 9:17 pm
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:16 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
SlowFlowPro
I feel like the title of this thesis would be “what do you feel like for dinner?”
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:16 pm to SlowFlowPro
The dom/sub relationship is SO simple yet complex
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:20 pm to Dire Wolf
quote:
I feel like the title of this thesis would be “what do you feel like for dinner?”
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:25 pm to SlowFlowPro
I will tell you what I don't really want, but I don't really care. I eat in my cube and skip supper most days.
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:35 pm to SlowFlowPro
You can't fight evolutionary biology, baw.
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:40 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:Wait, is the point of the video really THAT? And not that the woman should, ya know, listen to the guy?
No, Really, It’s Not About the Nail
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:45 pm to ThatMakesSense
quote:Wow. This is deep.
Women want to hear their opinion in a man's voice.
Posted on 6/18/18 at 9:59 pm to SlowFlowPro
The 4 steps to overcoming objections:
1.) I completely understand
2.) Acknowledge the objection
3.) Restate the objection in your own terms; restate motivating pain
4.) Confirm acceptance
Acknowledgement/restating the objection = validation
1.) I completely understand
2.) Acknowledge the objection
3.) Restate the objection in your own terms; restate motivating pain
4.) Confirm acceptance
Acknowledgement/restating the objection = validation
Posted on 6/18/18 at 10:01 pm to SlowFlowPro
White Men Can't Jump has this shite figured out years ago
quote:
See. if I'm thirsty. I don't want a glass of water, I want you to sympathize. I want you to say, "Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth." I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness.
Posted on 6/18/18 at 10:10 pm to SlowFlowPro
I suggest Hints from Heloise
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