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re: Scenario: If you were dating a girl for <1 year, got her pregnant- Would you marry?
Posted on 7/6/21 at 9:48 am to bigpetedatiga
Posted on 7/6/21 at 9:48 am to bigpetedatiga
quote:
I always get a chuckle when some dumbass guy starts that victim bull shite. "She got pregnant on purpose" or "she knew I didn't want kids."
well, if that's the understanding and she's on the pill, for example, and deliberately goes off it without informing ole baw, isn't that a bit of a setup? had that happen to a friend of mine
3
Posted on 7/6/21 at 9:53 am to pvilleguru
quote:
Offer to pay for the abortion. If I'm dating someone for any length of time, we'd likely be in agreement that we never want to have kids.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 9:58 am to 777Tiger
quote:
well, if that's the understanding and she's on the pill, for example, and deliberately goes off it without informing ole baw, isn't that a bit of a setup? had that happen to a friend of mine
For sure, but it's on you to do some due diligence and consider the surrounding circumstances.
I mean, if you're dating some small town girl who works at a local restaurant and she's promising you she's on the pill, you don't have a lot of added security. Or if you're in a long term relationship with a girl you know wants kids while you've been dragging your feet, you're on alert.
Meanwhile, if you're dating a girl in a grad program who is about to start some externship needed for her career, it's more likely she's not going to screw this up on purpose. Same for a girl who is very concerned with the optics of being pregnant out of wedlock, etc.
Guys are oblivious to this the same way guys get caught off guard that their duck-lip selfie sweetheart who goes out with her skank friends every other night cheated on them. Getting truly and genuinely duped to where you shouldn't have known about the ruse is rare.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 9:59 am to 777Tiger
quote:
if that's the understanding and she's on the pill, for example, and deliberately goes off it without informing ole baw, isn't that a bit of a setup? had that happen to a friend of mine
while i understand the ruse, men should only have sex with women they would be fine with marrying
certainly always pull out and use a condom if you're not comfortable with that outcome
This post was edited on 7/6/21 at 10:00 am
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:00 am to poncho villa
I wouldn’t try to get her pregnant unless we are already married but accidents happen and yea I’d marry her
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:00 am to Pettifogger
quote:
Guys are oblivious to this the same way guys get caught off guard that their duck-lip selfie sweetheart who goes out with her skank friends every other night cheated on them. Getting truly and genuinely duped to where you shouldn't have known about the ruse is rare.
all valid points, don't know how, but eternally grateful for tiptoeing through that minefield unscathed
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:02 am to TexasTiger1185
quote:
You know shite still happens and you can get a woman pregnant even if you wear a condom, right?
Of course. But I'd much rather take my chances coating up than trying to time a pull out while in ecstasy. Or still knocking her up even with a well timed pull out. It's just not worth the risk IMO to not use protection if you're not ready for the possible consequences.
This post was edited on 7/6/21 at 10:09 am
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:07 am to poncho villa
quote:
Scenario: If you were dating a girl for <1 year, got her pregnant- Would you marry?
Here's the way I see it (sorry to be late to the show here):
You are going to be a father and you have responsibilities that you must live up to. If you had intentions of marrying the mother, then there is no reason not to do so. However, if you had no such intentions, then entering into a sacred marriage in front of God and everyone else is a recipe for complete disaster for the rest of your life. Such a marriage would serve neither of you well.
The saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right," may be cliche, but it's certainly true.
Live up to the obligations that you will have with the child, but don't enter into marriage unless that is what you truly desire. All it will do is bring misery and strife.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:12 am to poncho villa
This is what coat hangers are for
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:19 am to HouseMom
quote:
A woman cannot get pregnant without a man.
Another old cliche that's appropriate here - "It takes two to tango." Unless he raped her, then it was consensual. If she decides to have an abortion the law says it's her body and her choice. He'll get no say in the matter supposing that he prefers the child to live. However, if she decides to keep the child but he's against it, then why should he be held responsible for something he has no say about?
(No, I am definitely NOT pro-abortion. I'm 100% pro-life. But you can't have your cake and eat it too.)
The main point, though, is that a woman who becomes pregnant out of wedlock is NOT a victim of the man who provided his genetics to the deal. (Unless it was rape, which I highly doubt in this case.)
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:26 am to jdd48
quote:
course. But I'd much rather take my chances coating up than trying to time a pull out while in ecstasy. Or still knocking her up even with a well timed pull out. It's just not worth the risk IMO to not use protection if you're not ready for the possible consequences.
But that’s not even what this thread is about. It’s about if she gets pregnant.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:31 am to poncho villa
quote:No. Spending the rest of your life with someone should be better than “wouldn’t mind”.
wouldn't mind marrying her in the first place?
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:32 am to poncho villa
Hell to the NO
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:34 am to RebelExpress38
quote:You can be an amazing parent without being married. Plenty of shitty, uninvolved parents who are married.
People who say no in this situation are the reason the US is crippled by baby mamas on welfare and kids growing up without dads. Actions have consequences.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:35 am to tigergirl10
quote:
Plenty of shitty, uninvolved parents who are married.
you got that right, baw!
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:36 am to 777Tiger
quote:
well, if that's the understanding and she's on the pill, for example, and deliberately goes off it without informing ole baw, isn't that a bit of a setup? had that happen to a friend of mine
Yes, I acknowledge women can be deceitful. That said, men are still responsible for where the shove their dicks.
If you opt to trust a woman like that, you better damn well know who you are dealing with and vise versa.
To use the great Jurassic Park line, sometimes as men we get so preoccupied with if we can that we dont stop to think if we should.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 10:40 am to tigergirl10
quote:
You can be an amazing parent without being married. Plenty of shitty, uninvolved parents who are married.
Yeah sure you can compare the best single dad to the worst married dad, but that is not really what is being compared. We are talking about an individual. 100% of the time, the same dad can do more for their kid married vs unmarried.
The best single dad in the world would be better if he were married and spent more time with his kid. The worst married dad would be even worse if you made him a part time parent.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:06 am to RebelExpress38
quote:
Yeah sure you can compare the best single dad to the worst married dad, but that is not really what is being compared. We are talking about an individual. 100% of the time, the same dad can do more for their kid married vs unmarried.
The best single dad in the world would be better if he were married and spent more time with his kid. The worst married dad would be even worse if you made him a part time parent.
What does a piece of paper have to do with how good of a parent you can be? If the only difference is signing a marriage certificate, there is zero difference in outcome.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:34 am to GeauxOCDP
quote:
What does a piece of paper have to do with how good of a parent you can be? If the only difference is signing a marriage certificate, there is zero difference in outcome.
Because the man fricked the woman - shouldn’t he somewhat like her and want to take care of her as well as the child. There are plenty of loveless marriages/couples - the way society is reflects that.
Isn’t that the point? To love/like the person you are sleeping with in case you do create life? That’s why all those apps are a danger to society.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:48 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
Isn’t that the point? To love/like the person you are sleeping with in case you do create life? That’s why all those apps are a danger to society.
The biological point is to frick as many women as possible and produce as much offspring as possible. This is why marriage feels so unnatural to many people, bc it is very unnatural from a biological point of view
ETA: its the reason chemicals exist in your brain to make sex feel good, to produce more offspring.
This post was edited on 7/6/21 at 11:51 am
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