re: Remarrying after a long relationship

I really think there is a difference between a death and a divorce.

Two guys I know who were widowed in their 40s got married not too-too long (certainly well within two years) after their wive's deaths. Both were truly in love with their wives and I think they were just used to being married and all the positive things that it entails (reliable/steady sex, companionship, double income, help with housework/kids, someone to take care of you when you are ill, etc.).

On the other hand, folks who get divorced can often have a bad taste in their mouth for marriage. I know I would if it happened to me.

Priorities can change when you get that old.

Money can buy you tail but they won’t stick around to help you when you’re sick.

I lost my first wife to cancer in 1990 after 18 yrs of marriage. 2 or 3 years later I remarried and lost my second wife of 24 years to congestive heart failure last year. Needless to say I'm done at age 63 .

I was married for 13 years. Been divorced and single for 23 years. In those 23 years, I dated a whole bunch of girls. Was even engaged once, but I had a come to Jesus moment and walked away. Looking back, I feel that I let of couple of good ones get away. At this stage, I don't think I will ever marry again.

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A good friend of mine lost his wife of 29 years to cancer several months ago and he's about to do it all over again with a woman around his age

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Hmmmmm

I don't believe you that one of those are real. My wife is like a grown child I took to raise.

One and done here. Not only do I love my wife but some stories have been told enough. I'd hate to be alone I suppose. Hopefully a day I'll never face.

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What say OT?

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I lost my wife of 9 years to cancer when she was 31. It was a long arse two years of treatment with so many highs and lows, with the last 5 months being in the hospital here in Memphis. All of our family lives in Louisiana so she went back to Tulane for treatment for many months after she relapsed and my kids stayed with our parents during that time. I spent a boatload of nights alone - away from my two daughters and my wife. She was my person. And I was lonely as hell.

After she died, life just had a way of bringing people into it. I dated not too long after and eventually found the one I chose to marry again 3 years after. But the point is - it happens at different speeds for different people. My marriage was great so I didn’t have any negative views on it other than the cancer. I would’ve married the first girl I dated if she had wanted to - we had a special connection as well. I think in a widow(er) situation, it can happen much faster than divorce and it helps when those close support the decision. It’s hard enough losing a life partner - don’t make him choose between friends and his feelings. I had it happen to me - it sucks. No one truly knows how you feel and they sometimes want different things so it creates awkwardness that shouldn’t be there.

Same here baw. If I'm in that situation and my kids are all grown no way I'm getting Married. Dating would be fine. But I would just play golf in all my spare time and go to games I want to go to.