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Remarrying after a long relationship

Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:07 pm
Posted by AnorexicGator
northshore
Member since Apr 2018
258 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:07 pm
A good friend of mine lost his wife of 29 years to cancer several months ago and he's about to do it all over again with a woman around his age (59) that he met through other friends. I'm happy that he found someone and I wish him all the best of luck, but if it were me, I wouldn't do it again. Next week, I'll be celebrating my 28th anniversary and it has been a good run, but there was a lot of work put in by both of us to make it a good run.
God forbid for anything to happen to my wife, I just don't think I have the energy or patience for another commitment. I think I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor.

What say OT?
Posted by CoachChappy
Member since May 2013
32507 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:08 pm to
quote:

I think I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor. What say OT?


Some can handle it, some miss the companionship. It's a completely personal thing that you cannot understand until you are in that position.
Posted by Packer
IE, California
Member since May 2017
7792 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:08 pm to
quote:

I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor.



Same
Posted by BurningHeart
Member since Jan 2017
9517 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:09 pm to
This thread started out one way, then went in another direction.
Posted by sicboy
Because Awesome
Member since Nov 2010
77563 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:09 pm to
I love my wife and my family, but I've told her already that if for whatever reason this doesn't work out, I'm not doing it again.


Marriage takes a lot of work, and it's a blessing when you do, but if you don't have it in you to sacrifice A LOT, then don't do it.




But some people just have to be with someone. They can't handle being alone.
Posted by MykTide
Member since Jul 2012
25472 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:10 pm to
quote:

God forbid for anything to happen to my wife, I just don't think I have the energy or patience for another commitment. I think I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor.



Next month will be 20 years for the wife and I and I feel the exact same way as you.

Posted by BeerMoney
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2012
8362 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:11 pm to
I’m always telling the wife I’ll find the kids a good stepmom at twin peaks when she gets hit by a beer truck.

But seriously. I’d hate it but eventually probably get back on the marriage train if something happened to my wife.
Posted by X123F45
Member since Apr 2015
27349 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:12 pm to
A friend of mine lost his wife of 32 years. Mother of his kids.

Hit him hard. Three months later he met a woman who looks eerily like his first wife.

She's brought him back. He looked as though he aged 20 years when his wife passed.

He now looks like he did 20 years ago.

Haven't seen him smile like he is since before his wife got cancer.

Some people need that companionship.

They are getting married this year. His grown sons aren't happy about it. As an outsider, they are being selfish.
Posted by Will Cover
St. Louis, MO
Member since Mar 2007
38511 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:12 pm to
quote:

What say OT?


If it makes him happy and if it makes her happy, let them be and support them.

I've got enough shite in my own life to worry about that I have a hard enough time trying to control and keep under control.

Props to them. No one wants to die lonely.
Posted by BruslyTiger
Waiting on 420...
Member since Oct 2003
4608 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:14 pm to
quote:

God forbid for anything to happen to my wife, I just don't think I have the energy or patience for another commitment. I think I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor.

I have said the same thing many times, but it is also easier said than done.
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:17 pm to
17 years for me and my wife. I can’t imagine starting over with another woman but you just never know what your state of mind will be until the unthinkable actually happens.
Posted by WaltTeevens
Santa Barbara, CA
Member since Dec 2013
10951 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:19 pm to
quote:

His grown sons aren't happy about it


His grown sons are assholes. The man spent a good chunk of his life raising them, they get out of the coop to start their own lives, dad's life partner dies, and the sons have hurt feelings that dad doesn't want to be by himself forever?

frick them.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48357 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:21 pm to
My parents got divorced when my dad was 43. He said he'd never get married again and never did. He's 70 now.
Posted by jbgleason
Bailed out of BTR to God's Country
Member since Mar 2012
18895 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:23 pm to
quote:

I think I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor.

What say OT?


You can say that shite all you want until the realities of getting old and dying alone stare you in the face. Plus, the “work” of a marriage when you are young (careers, kids, first house, all that other shite) doesn’t happen in a second marriage. It’s completely different.
Posted by sicboy
Because Awesome
Member since Nov 2010
77563 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:25 pm to
quote:

dad's life partner dies


It's also their mother. Not to say their anger is justified, but it's a hard thing to come to terms with. My mom passed almost 10 years ago and after a few months my dad started seeing this lady, and I wanted him to be happy, but I didn't like having her around. I was still dealing with a lot with mom's death and I wasn't on board with a "replacement". She was also night-and-day different from my mother, super clingy, thought that the husband and wife should do EVERYTHING together. She was blown away when my dad told her that one time we went on vacation, my mom just wasn't feeling up to it, so she stayed home.

Then new mom said some not so nice things about old mom and she was out as far as I was concerned. Luckily my dad saw it too and ended it after a while.
Posted by LSUgirl4
Member since Sep 2009
39501 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:25 pm to
we all die alone, so i'd like it to kick it with someone i have fun with while i'm still around.
Posted by Tiger-Striped-Bass
The Bay Area
Member since Dec 2004
1266 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:27 pm to
quote:

but there was a lot of work put in by both of us to make it a good run


Good on you for your commitment. That's admirable. Believe it or not though, they're not all like that. Maybe your friend's experience was easier, and therefore he doesn't have the same preconception you do.

I'm at 20yrs. I don't consider it at all to have been working to make it to this point. So if I chose to abstain from a second time, it would have to be based on other's experience.
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
136793 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:28 pm to
quote:

we all die alone
unless you're in a plane crash

quote:

i'd like it to kick it with someone i have fun with while i'm still around
GLTY
Posted by djangochained
Gardere
Member since Jul 2013
19054 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:32 pm to
@ 59 who cares?
Posted by LSUgirl4
Member since Sep 2009
39501 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:36 pm to
quote:

GLTY
what? impossible?
i think OP should always leave the door open for love.
This post was edited on 9/14/18 at 2:37 pm
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