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re: Proposal etiquette when SO isn't close with father
Posted on 7/24/16 at 2:55 am to dualed
Posted on 7/24/16 at 2:55 am to dualed
Asking is fricking stupid in my opinion unless it's important to her. My rule of thumb is if I can kick your arse I don't ask for shite. So I don't ask for shite very often. It's about asserting your dominance and it worked fine for me.
0
Posted on 7/24/16 at 3:51 am to dualed
Its 2016!!
Posted on 7/24/16 at 3:53 am to dualed
Sounds like daddy issues. You should NOT make this proposal.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 4:27 am to dualed
Hate to tell you this,but if the girl doesn't have a close relationship with her Biological Dad,and he isn't a piece of crap,you might have genetic crazy on your hands.
You need to look into things. What the Mom told the daughter isn't always true. Investigate the spin.Things aren't always as they seem.
You need to look into things. What the Mom told the daughter isn't always true. Investigate the spin.Things aren't always as they seem.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 6:23 am to dualed
Bring her his head. She will respect that you have taken the place as leader of the tribe and submit to you.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 6:51 am to dualed
He doesn't own her. Why ask anyone at all?
Posted on 7/24/16 at 6:57 am to dualed
Don't be an idiot and get married
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:10 am to dualed
Don't buy the ring yet as it appears you have a lot to learn about judging one's character.
Maybe he cheated because the old lady was banging the step father while he was busting his arse 12 hours a day. Maybe he is short on funds because of the divorce and because she and his daughters (your future wife) lived above their means while he was the sole bread winner. My advice is to take the supposed biological father out for some beer and get him to warn you about this mess you are fixing to get into.
Maybe he cheated because the old lady was banging the step father while he was busting his arse 12 hours a day. Maybe he is short on funds because of the divorce and because she and his daughters (your future wife) lived above their means while he was the sole bread winner. My advice is to take the supposed biological father out for some beer and get him to warn you about this mess you are fixing to get into.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:12 am to Breesus
Just do whatever your SO would think is appropriate.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:15 am to dualed
Send him a pic with the ring on her finger, w/ a note that says "I knew you'd approve, pops!...drinks on me!!! Woooooo!!!!
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:17 am to dualed
I called my wife's mom because she isn't close to her pos dad.
It's all just a courtesy to show you have manners, so I would only worry about the people you will have to deal with once you marry her.
In my case, I've only seen my wife's dad twice, so if he's mad frick him, doesn't effect me.
It's all just a courtesy to show you have manners, so I would only worry about the people you will have to deal with once you marry her.
In my case, I've only seen my wife's dad twice, so if he's mad frick him, doesn't effect me.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:21 am to dualed
Had no respect for my father in law so I didn't bother asking him.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:22 am to dualed
Permission? Never
Blessing? Only if she has a good relationship with her father.
If she doesn't have a good relationship with her father? Probably shouldn't be marrying. She will be looking for strange dick in about 7 years.
Blessing? Only if she has a good relationship with her father.
If she doesn't have a good relationship with her father? Probably shouldn't be marrying. She will be looking for strange dick in about 7 years.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 7:54 am to AZTarheeel
I think that part of the permission asking etiquette is that you are asking with the intent that the father of the bride understands he is expected to step up and help ensure the wedding day is paid for.
That doesn't seem like that is s remote possibility in this case if the dad is asking another daughter for money.
As a traditionalist, if there is an expectation of permission being asked, then the tradition of the bride's family paying for the wedding should be intact as well.
I'm in agreement with others. Her mother seems to be the person you need to ask. Frankly, that is what I would do, but I would also do so without the expectation of the bride's family taking on the responsibility of paying for everything.
That doesn't seem like that is s remote possibility in this case if the dad is asking another daughter for money.
As a traditionalist, if there is an expectation of permission being asked, then the tradition of the bride's family paying for the wedding should be intact as well.
I'm in agreement with others. Her mother seems to be the person you need to ask. Frankly, that is what I would do, but I would also do so without the expectation of the bride's family taking on the responsibility of paying for everything.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 8:01 am to dualed
Better advice:
Good luck marrying into a family drama.
Good luck marrying into a family drama.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 8:07 am to dualed
quote:
Her sister came into some money recently from a lawsuit (he doesn't see her often either) and he asked for money.
Sorry your future family is trash.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 8:18 am to dualed
I had a similar situation so I asked my wife's mother over lunch. I then called her older sister to ask as well (she lives 5 states away).
Posted on 7/24/16 at 8:21 am to dualed
This is just my humble opinion, coming from an unmarried person.
But if the father really isnt in her life like that then, then whats the point he is totally irrelevant. His opinion means shite.
If her stepdad is close to her like you said, then talk to him. If not, then the moms. Its really that simple.
Hell, if you want say frick it. Propose and then send invites to the parents. Its your life, your marriage so you do whatever you gotta do.
But if the father really isnt in her life like that then, then whats the point he is totally irrelevant. His opinion means shite.
If her stepdad is close to her like you said, then talk to him. If not, then the moms. Its really that simple.
Hell, if you want say frick it. Propose and then send invites to the parents. Its your life, your marriage so you do whatever you gotta do.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 8:24 am to QJenk
Who's going to walk her down the aisle?? My father and step dad both
Did (I was 4 when mom got remarried ... He's my daddy). I asked my father out of courtesy and he walked in the left ... Daddy walked on the right as is tradition.
Did (I was 4 when mom got remarried ... He's my daddy). I asked my father out of courtesy and he walked in the left ... Daddy walked on the right as is tradition.
Posted on 7/24/16 at 8:54 am to dualed
It's her father --- like him or not. He is the father.
Ask him for his permission. Its really a no lose situation - If he says no - who cares , explain to the SO what a jerk he is. If he says yes - you may help bridge some of that family gap.
Our world is falling apart. This is one of the few traditions we need to hold on to.
If you ever have any daughters --- you will understand.
Ask him for his permission. Its really a no lose situation - If he says no - who cares , explain to the SO what a jerk he is. If he says yes - you may help bridge some of that family gap.
Our world is falling apart. This is one of the few traditions we need to hold on to.
If you ever have any daughters --- you will understand.
This post was edited on 7/24/16 at 8:55 am
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