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Started By
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1
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:11 am to STLDawg
Set a booby trap for them
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:20 am to CocomoLSU
quote:
Time to take a shite in the box and tape it up. Maybe even mark it “guaranteed” on the side for good measure.
That’s a great idea if you have the spare time.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:21 am to STLDawg
quote:
I’ve had three packages stolen off my porch in the last two weeks. We need too publicly cane these assholes as punishment like they do in Singapore.
I know it is aggravating, though. There are lockboxes available to prevent this. Join us in the 21st century and grab one!
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:26 am to STLDawg
putting a few garter snakes in a box seems appropriate.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:35 am to STLDawg
I don’t understand why it’s illegal to harm these people. It would stop with the quickness if a porch priate or two lost some limbs while commiting their crimes.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:40 am to STLDawg
would a bear trap opened, covered with foam packing peanuts be illegal?
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:46 am to Kentucker
There's an instant karma porch pirate video of some dumb fat bitch grabbing a package and then breaking her leg running for it. Floppy gross break too. It was super satisfying.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 11:52 am to STLDawg
Saw a guy who bought a new tv and put the old broke one in the box and they were nice enough to haul it off for em. Just start putting your trash in boxes.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 12:01 pm to STLDawg
quote:You can have as many branches off my swamp maple for switches.
We need too publicly cane these assholes
Posted on 12/4/22 at 12:02 pm to STLDawg
It’s a felony in Texas
Posted on 12/4/22 at 12:12 pm to STLDawg
1) have cameras
2) have multiple signs advertising you have cameras
2) have multiple signs advertising you have cameras
Posted on 12/4/22 at 12:17 pm to STLDawg
I'll just say one thing about porch pirates: They're better than butt pirates.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 12:17 pm to STLDawg
Mark rober has made a huge living off porch pirate videos.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 12:20 pm to choupiquesushi
Maybe you got gators in your hood?
Posted on 12/4/22 at 1:36 pm to STLDawg
Next time just order a claymore mine from amazon.
That'll fix their asses.
That'll fix their asses.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 1:55 pm to STLDawg
Man, a big pissed off water snake in a box would be awesome. I’d love to watch video of them opening that package up. 
Since it’s not venomous, I can’t see anything illegal about it.
Since it’s not venomous, I can’t see anything illegal about it.
This post was edited on 12/4/22 at 1:56 pm
Posted on 12/4/22 at 1:59 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:I’ve watched several of those. I just wish he’s put bear spray instead of fart spray.
Mark rober has made a huge living off porch pirate videos.
Make these frickers suffer.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 2:41 pm to STLDawg
shite bomb in a box.
Posted on 12/4/22 at 3:04 pm to STLDawg
Go to a store you don’t usually shop at, preferably in a different town, and buy a bottle of wine and one of those soft fabric wine gift bags - the kind with a draw string. Go home and enjoy the bottle of wine at your leisure. Put the bottle in an empty trash can and smash it into small pieces. Turn the bag inside out and apply a liberal amount of Elmers glue to a portion of the bag and then pour some of the glass shards in the wet glue. Allow the glue to dry and repeat until the bottom 3/4 of the inside of the bag is coated with glass shards.
Put some old Mardi Gras doubloons or spare change in the bag and tighten the drawstring. Carefully place the bag in a box and print up an address label for an address that isn’t yours and a return label from “The Gold Coin Shoppe.” Leave the package on your porch and hope it goes untouched.
Put some old Mardi Gras doubloons or spare change in the bag and tighten the drawstring. Carefully place the bag in a box and print up an address label for an address that isn’t yours and a return label from “The Gold Coin Shoppe.” Leave the package on your porch and hope it goes untouched.
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