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re: Police find naked man in Lowe’s display shed with Vaseline and phone

Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:13 pm to
Posted by Shexter
Prairieville
Member since Feb 2014
20820 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:13 pm to
quote:

open container of Vaseline and an electronic device while allegedly masturbating.
Posted by Lexis Dad
Member since Apr 2025
6399 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:14 pm to
That's lsupride87
Posted by Lexis Dad
Member since Apr 2025
6399 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:16 pm to

Posted by NatalbanyTigerFan
On the water somewhere
Member since Oct 2007
8601 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:30 pm to
quote:

Electronic device?

Weed whacker
Posted by Artificial Ignorance
Member since Feb 2025
1424 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:31 pm to
quote:

With taser drawn, police say the officer ordered the man to pull up his pants and roll onto his stomach to be handcuffed.


Kinky
Posted by Tiger Prawn
Member since Dec 2016
25857 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:33 pm to
quote:

telling officers he was watching “YouTube” at the time.


Posted by MRTigerFan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
7012 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:34 pm to
quote:

Electronic device?


Cell phone?

I'm thinking marital aid of some sort.
Ole baw had a vibrator or something
This post was edited on 5/13/25 at 1:35 pm
Posted by Corriente Kid
Central Texas
Member since Aug 2021
706 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:37 pm to
He was watching that Halle Berry video and using her lube.
Posted by HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Member since Jul 2011
33525 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:38 pm to
quote:

Officers arrived at the scene and began searching the line of sheds on display. It wasn’t until the fourth or fifth shed that he located the suspect, lying on his back, pants around his ankles, using an open container of Vaseline and an electronic device while allegedly masturbating.


What's the big deal here?


Posted by Lawyered
The Sip
Member since Oct 2016
38363 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:38 pm to
“ I wanna play a game”
Posted by SpotCheckBilly
Member since May 2020
8523 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:39 pm to
Jeffrey Toobin works a Lowes now?
Posted by Bjorn Cyborg
Member since Sep 2016
35539 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:39 pm to
He was just ashy.
Posted by imjustafatkid
Alabama
Member since Dec 2011
65864 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:40 pm to
Wow. Difficult to imagine what he was thinking here. Obviously, guy should have just gone home, but if he was really that bad off I'm sure Lowe's has a restroom.

Posted by Tanny Bogus
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Member since Jan 2011
317 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:41 pm to
Build a little model of that scene
Posted by N2cars
Member since Feb 2008
39646 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:53 pm to
quote:

marital aid


A credit card with a high limit?
Posted by Hoodie
Donaldsonville, LA
Member since Dec 2019
3728 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 1:58 pm to
How Lowe can you go?
Posted by Tomatocantender
Boot
Member since Jun 2021
5597 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 2:00 pm to
quote:

Sorry for partying


SFP also stands for SlowFlowPro. Coincidence? I think not.
This post was edited on 5/13/25 at 2:05 pm
Posted by MRTigerFan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
7012 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 2:44 pm to
I just saw this on the ole FB feed:

Posted by SUG
Member since Nov 2015
668 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 2:51 pm to
I was on break..mind ya business
Posted by wesfau
Member since Mar 2023
2364 posts
Posted on 5/13/25 at 2:56 pm to
The Squirt Yurt's poor cousin.

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