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Posted on 9/5/24 at 5:57 am to Bison
My son is 16. He’s got his job plans made out. He told us the other day he’d be moving when the time came. Makes me sick to think about it.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:00 am to Bison
Completely understand why you are upset and justifiably so. But as an older guy, I understand how important it is to just enjoy time with my parents even when it’s not something you feel like you may be looking forward to. You’ll never regret spending time with them make the best of thier trip. I know it’s not easy or always the right time but you only have so many more times to spend with your family.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:05 am to Gee Grenouille
quote:
My son is 16. He’s got his job plans made out. He told us the other day he’d be moving when the time came. Makes me sick to think about it.
They say that by the time your child is 18, you’ve already spent 90% (could be more) of the time you’ll ever spend with them.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:17 am to Bison
I’ll speculate that “late fall” may have worked out better if you set a weekend.
Frustrating to get a surprise visit; but maybe your parents thought “not now” was going to keep sliding out if they didn’t just commit to a date?
Otherwise, I think you may need to get over it, and be glad you’ve got two parents who care about you to make a trip to see you.
I’m sure THEY had other things they could be doing at home, instead of dealing with the BS of traveling (cross-country) to see you.
By the way, you want to get married/have kids some day?
I’m guessing you’re late 20s, maybe early 30s, on which case you’ve got some time to figure out/adjust.
But if you do want a family, eventually you’re going to have to gey used to not always (and frankly, rarely) getting to do what YOU want to do.
Frustrating to get a surprise visit; but maybe your parents thought “not now” was going to keep sliding out if they didn’t just commit to a date?
Otherwise, I think you may need to get over it, and be glad you’ve got two parents who care about you to make a trip to see you.
I’m sure THEY had other things they could be doing at home, instead of dealing with the BS of traveling (cross-country) to see you.
By the way, you want to get married/have kids some day?
I’m guessing you’re late 20s, maybe early 30s, on which case you’ve got some time to figure out/adjust.
But if you do want a family, eventually you’re going to have to gey used to not always (and frankly, rarely) getting to do what YOU want to do.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:17 am to Bison
Quit prioritizing work over anything else in your life, in 30 years that job won’t matter but the time you spent with your parents will
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:26 am to Bison
They should come when it’s convenient for you
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:46 am to Bison
You should get your “roommate” a hotel room so your parents don’t find out
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:51 am to Bison
seems like there are a lot of people who like to be unplanned/uninvited guests in this thread
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:53 am to Bison
quote:
I asked them to please hold off until late fall
quote:Because football will be less exciting in late fall
instead of being able to get some overtime, or just get drunk and watch football this weekend
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:57 am to Bison
I’m not sure if you’re an a-hole, because it’s natural to be irritated at unplanned visits like that as it upsets the natural flow of your life.
I say look at it like this. When they pass away, what will you remember, the quality times you got with them, or spending all weekend sulking and being irritated they’re there. Because there will be a time when they’re not there.
I say look at it like this. When they pass away, what will you remember, the quality times you got with them, or spending all weekend sulking and being irritated they’re there. Because there will be a time when they’re not there.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 6:59 am to Bison
All these people judging you haven’t had to walk in your shoes. All parents aren’t the same and all lives aren’t the same. If you are just 100% exhausted this weekend, tell them that. Be honest about your situation. Since they already booked the flights, this visit is going to happen, but while they are there tell them you really love to see them but you also need to rest since you have been working so hard. Any good parent would be proud of you and want to help you become successful, and if they know that weekend rest is what you need, they will be more cognizant in the future.
Now, not every family is the same. Generational dysfunction is a real thing and people who haven’t lived it don’t get it. I haven’t, but have known people who have, and some parents, as another poster said, can only think of their own needs. If that’s your case, you will have to set the boundaries whatever way will work.
Now, not every family is the same. Generational dysfunction is a real thing and people who haven’t lived it don’t get it. I haven’t, but have known people who have, and some parents, as another poster said, can only think of their own needs. If that’s your case, you will have to set the boundaries whatever way will work.
This post was edited on 9/5/24 at 7:00 am
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:00 am to Bison
I feel your pain. Earlier this month my uncle came to visit. He knew that I was working three jobs and that my mom was recovering from heart surgery. He chose to come anyway. I scaled back the nice meals I usually cook and brought in takeout food. It was the best I could do but I resent him for visiting when our situation was already difficult.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:01 am to Bison
Yeah, you're an ungrateful a-hole and likely not the black sheep you claim to be. You just like playing the victim.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:18 am to Bison
God you're a dick. No wonder you're the black sheep. You still doing bad stuff.
Quit being so fricking selfish and understand how parents feel about their kids. Even though the love isn't reciprocated.
You don't deserve them
Quit being so fricking selfish and understand how parents feel about their kids. Even though the love isn't reciprocated.
You don't deserve them
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:20 am to Bison
Maybe not a-hole, maybe selfish and immature.
So work is busy, welcome to adulthood.
So you have weekend plans that are less desirable than what you would have chosen, welcome to adulthood.
Also, please do not have children. You clearly cannot balance your wants/needs or your life in general.
So work is busy, welcome to adulthood.
So you have weekend plans that are less desirable than what you would have chosen, welcome to adulthood.
Also, please do not have children. You clearly cannot balance your wants/needs or your life in general.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:24 am to Bison
Over the years they probably asked you not to do a lot of shite that you just did anyway.
They’re your parents. Be glad that they’re still around to do stuff like this. One day you’re going to find yourself hoping for just one more phone call or uninvited visit.
They’re your parents. Be glad that they’re still around to do stuff like this. One day you’re going to find yourself hoping for just one more phone call or uninvited visit.
This post was edited on 9/5/24 at 8:53 am
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:24 am to Bison
Cool man, I’m sure that extra money will be great to spend when they’re gone and you’re wishing for just one more day with them. Not only should you put away work for the weekend and show them around, you should have paid for their entire trip bc it sounds like they are on a fixed income and you are the A hole who moved away from your family. Enjoy the weekend baw.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:26 am to Bison
Jill Allen lied and told her dad she was sick when he wanted to make a last minute trip to visit and he died of a heart attack the next day, resulting in unyielding guilt on top of the grief of losing her father.
Don’t be Jill Allen.
Don’t be Jill Allen.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 7:26 am to Bison
I would give anything in the world to get a visit from my dad. Its been nearly 8 years.
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