re: Parents Buying Kids Homes

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"Gifts" often come with strings attached. Once you rely on people (even family) for assistance, they often feel they have a right to dictate some things.

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Well… yeah. But if everyone is on the same page it really isn’t that big of a deal, and you can always set lines on what you’re willing to accept and what you aren’t.

For example my parents still pay for our family vacation, and as such they get to pick where we go. Don’t like it? Don’t accept it. That can be pretty much applied to everything.

Who cares if someone's folks help them out? I see no issue with it. Do i wish someone helped me out? Hell yeah, but that doesnt mean I should be jealous of those that do get help.

I hope that I have the means to help my kids in any way possible with their college/wedding/home as long as they earn the help. I would love for them to not fall into some of the same traps I had to get through. $600K is a bit much though.

If I have the ability when that time comes, there's no shot I'll outright buy them a home, or even help out month to month.

I do think helping with the down payment, and kind of steering them away from some mistakes I made would be money better spent.

I was making decisions totally alone with no help whatsoever when I bought my first house, which we still live in. No one in our family ever even looked at it before we closed. It's a fine house. No complaints at all really. But somebody saying hey you've got a 3.5% rate: Spend $50k more on that house 4-6 blocks north with 400 more sq ft... That would have gone a long ways. Now if I wanted that house, I feel like I'd have to make upgrades to our house to sell it for top dollar in order to buy that other house which would now be $100k more...

I think the best way to put it is, help them out on the initial cost of the first home, and you set them up for an easier transition to the second and third homes.

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hell of a gift. Looking back on it, wifey and I would’ve definitely done that route rather than a wedding if it was option for us.

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Yeah, we don't regret it. We had a small party at the house afterwards. Probably spent 4k total. We've been married for 21 years.

Yea I think that’s the takeaway from this. I believe my generation is more tone deaf to the level of assistance their parents offered.

My dad wouldn't even co-sign a $3,000 car loan for me when I was 18.

I've never had debt issues at anytime though. In my late 50's now.

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My parents still pay for our family vacation,

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My dad and step mom have never purchased a meal or vacation.

They have bought some "big" gifts for the children.

I (we) pay for them to come eat out with us or come on vacation with us. Yes, they do have the money. But don't believe in helping.

My parents have helped us with down payments & private school. As an only child, they always told me they’d much rather enjoy it with me than leave me a big inheritance. I hope I can do the same for my kids. But I have always worked & so do my kids. Help does not always equal being entitled.

What’s the point of having money if you can’t use it to help your family?