re: OT Lawyers a question about child custody

I think you're going to find we all empathize with you. Dad's get ahit end. We do. Your best or only recourse will be to pay into the shitty system, retain a lawyer (again) and try to rewrite the decree. But be aware that is going to make Mom talk shite about you to your kids nonstop. Custody is ridiculous. Shitty co-parenting is horrific. Try your beat to stay calm in front of everyone.

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is there any child support being paid? you to her/ her to you?

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Me to her.

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Did she know about the tournament when she scheduled the trip?

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She has full access to the same notifications and emails that I get regarding baseball. She doesn't care to look. She also didn't bother to ask me about the dates or I would have told her about the tournament.

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if you did not inform her about the tournament then before she scheduled the trip then its on you

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Its not my responsibility to notify their mother of her children's activities. My youngest played for 1st place in the league on Friday, she has no idea they won, didn't even know he had a game despite her getting the exact same communications as me and with me sending her a schedule of all their games and times at the start of the season. She does not care about them.

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Have you been scheduling activity for the boy during the time the mother is to have custody without discussing it with her?

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Absolutely not.

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Why is it his responsibility to inform the mom of baseball tournaments?

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Because it is the mother's week to have custody. She gets to decide what the the boy does.

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Shouldn't she already be privy to that info?

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She should have been but I am not going to assume that.

Your ex is taking the kids on a trip with “Uncle Jody” to introduce them to their new stepdad-to-be. You aren’t just asking her to cancel a trip; she sees this as a control move by you to prevent her from moving on.

Whichever parent has custody at the time of the trip should be the one calling the shots. If it’s her turn and your son isn’t dropped off as scheduled, expect her to call police to report a kidnapping.

If it’s your turn at custody, maybe offer to pay for any change fees if she pushes the trip to another time if you want to be the bigger parent. Otherwise, just chalk it up to marrying a straight up selfish bitch. Don’t dare talk badly about her to your son but hope he can see what’s really going on.

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Its not my responsibility to notify their mother of her children's activities.

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I agree if the other parent is a good parent. If she historically does not stay informed, for the sake of the children, I would gently remind her of things important to your children. Perhaps that could have made a difference here or even reminding your 12 year old to let his mother know without being negative about her.

Personally, I would not have told the child he could stay with you without consulting with the mother. You've given him an option he may not have. If he tells Mom, she's probably going to be angry. She doesn't sound too reasonable.

I have this exact arrangement: 50/50 with no domicilary parent. It is spelled out in our judgment that we will notify the other parent and provide emergency contact information. This is not asking permission as it is on my time or her time, merely a notification. I think that is pretty standard but we spelled it out.

If the divorce goes to trial, the judge has to appoint one. If agreed out of court the parties can choose not to have one.

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want to stop her because she's a selfish bitch who only cares about herself.

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Why’d you have kids with her?

I have 50/50 custody with 3 of my children. I pay child support. Had to deal with similar situations. Still have to. It will never change unless she grows the hell up. She probably won't. My ex hasn't. Welcome to the club.

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It is in TN. By statute, if a parent takes the kid out of state for more than 48 hours, they are required to inform the other parent. They don't need permission to do it during their own parenting time, but they have to provide the other parent with where they're going, how long they'll be there, and how to reach them whil they're there.

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That's silly. Nobody gives a shite about the Tennessee state line except the Tennessee State Legislature (which, in turn, nobody gives a shite about).