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re: Not finding a relationship? Advice
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:43 pm to MouseBenQ
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:43 pm to MouseBenQ
Part of the problem is that women don't like it when you masturbate in front of them on the first date in the car while you're driving and stopped in traffic. Women see this as a lack of self-control. I know. It seems silly to me, too.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:49 pm to MouseBenQ
What area of the city do you live? I'll set you straight. 

Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:49 pm to MouseBenQ
I went through most of undergrad school with no real serious relationship and said I would never settle down.....
.....then bam....fell in love at the end of my senior year and eventually got married. It will happen when you least expect it.
.....then bam....fell in love at the end of my senior year and eventually got married. It will happen when you least expect it.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:57 pm to MouseBenQ
quote:
Is it impossible to find the right person specially if you can't change ur personality?
make it your job to be the best person you can be.
make it your job to learn about women and psychology and sex.
there are lots of books. read them.
practice.
go to group therapy. i.e. have a support group you can learn from while you endure the learning curve.
be patient.
never stop learning. always forgive your mistakes.
This post was edited on 4/29/16 at 11:58 pm
Posted on 4/30/16 at 12:57 am to MouseBenQ
You've still got a few years to find someone that's marriage material. That is, someone who has no kids and has never been married before. Hard to find one like that over 30, especially in the south. In the meantime, set your sights on your career and making lots of money. Get a few like-minded friends and travel for pleasure. Women don't give a goddamn thing about anything else.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 12:59 am to MouseBenQ
Disregard females; acquire currency.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 1:07 am to MouseBenQ
Don't worry you saved a lot of money and time.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 1:13 am to MouseBenQ
As someone ten years older than you and in the same place you were at that time, and as a guy with a weakness for women... relax. The older you get, the easier it gets. I've been in a rush. Now I'm divorced and just re-discovering single life. Enjoy yourself, go out, get online... there are a lot of unfound treasures out there. I've got a second date tomorrow with a beautiful doctor... there's so much potential. Don't settle.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 1:49 am to MouseBenQ
Don't marry but once, no matter what happens. If you want kids, this is the one. But if the first one fails and you marry again, you'll still end up alone down the road, but with less money, and one cynical view of life. Try not to do what everyone else does, a lot of people end up fricking miserable because they made poor choices in life concerning relationships.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 4:07 am to MouseBenQ
Alot of people here have given you good advice. Don't doubt it, or yourself. Now is the time to act on that advice and put yourself out there if you are looking for someone.
I know from experience that you don't want to look back in life and wish that you did something different when you were younger because of regrets. Regrets can really haunt you if you dwell on them.
Time passes by so fast, you will be in your thirty's before you realize it.
I know from experience that you don't want to look back in life and wish that you did something different when you were younger because of regrets. Regrets can really haunt you if you dwell on them.
Time passes by so fast, you will be in your thirty's before you realize it.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 4:12 am to AbitaFan08
quote:
Join a group or organization that forces you to be around people and be social. Kickball league, a gym where you do group classes, something along those lines.
There was a guy in my gym with the exact same story. Depressed and felt like he wasn't going to meet someone. Socially awkward especially around women. He started going to the gym nonstop. I hardly ever went without seeing him there. Dropped something like 80 lbs, made a ton of friends, met a girl, and they're now living together. He's a completely different guy now.
TL;DR version: Get swole.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 7:16 am to MouseBenQ
Weird shite happens, man. I was single for the last two years just to the point of completely giving up on trying and out of the blue I bumped into an ex that divorced her husband last year. Now we are dating again after 14 years and it's probably the best times we've ever had together, and we were together for years before.
Don't quit looking. If you care about yourself then you'll find what you're looking for.
Don't quit looking. If you care about yourself then you'll find what you're looking for.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 7:30 am to MouseBenQ
I'm really proud of the OT for this thread. I know it will probably never happen again (and it's probably the only time it has ever happened), but you guys were really helpful.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 7:50 am to MouseBenQ
OP, I was in a similar spot when I was 19/20. I hit the gym, bought new clothes, and grabbed some self help books. Not everyone is raised in a family that helps them grow in these areas. There is no quick fix and there is no end point. This is just life--work on yourself, don't be hard on yourself, and focus on growing.
I went from not being able to talk to girls to slaying more poon than I could have ever imagined. Current SO made an NFL cheerleading squad. Is my life perfect? No. There are still many areas I fall short in life.
The grass isn't always greener, btw. Don't think that finding a girlfriend will change your life. Find some stuff you enjoy to do, do it well, improve yourself, and be kind to yourself.
/rambling
I went from not being able to talk to girls to slaying more poon than I could have ever imagined. Current SO made an NFL cheerleading squad. Is my life perfect? No. There are still many areas I fall short in life.
The grass isn't always greener, btw. Don't think that finding a girlfriend will change your life. Find some stuff you enjoy to do, do it well, improve yourself, and be kind to yourself.
/rambling
This post was edited on 4/30/16 at 7:52 am
Posted on 4/30/16 at 8:17 am to MouseBenQ
Toastmasters
Good luck with everything!
Good luck with everything!
Posted on 4/30/16 at 8:39 am to Robin Masters
and a couple other things, OP...
do online dating. everyone else is. find out what the most effective one in your area is.
until you're in a committed relationship, always...ALWAYS...have another girl lined up to go out beyond the one currently in front of you. this will take the pressure off.
you can be a suave motherfricker and handle your business with women perfectly, and they WILL still flake on you. know now that it is going to happen.
time is on your side. a mid-30-yo man is desirable to a lot of mid-20-yo women. most mid-30-yo women can not say the same about mid-20-yo men.
do online dating. everyone else is. find out what the most effective one in your area is.
until you're in a committed relationship, always...ALWAYS...have another girl lined up to go out beyond the one currently in front of you. this will take the pressure off.
you can be a suave motherfricker and handle your business with women perfectly, and they WILL still flake on you. know now that it is going to happen.
time is on your side. a mid-30-yo man is desirable to a lot of mid-20-yo women. most mid-30-yo women can not say the same about mid-20-yo men.
Posted on 4/30/16 at 8:54 am to MouseBenQ
quote:
Good points. I live in the DC area so there are some places to go for socializing.
Start with Dupont Circle because apparently you're gay and haven't discovered yourself yet.
Posted on 5/1/16 at 8:39 am to MouseBenQ
When you aren't meeting anyone, or if you are steadily meeting the wrong ones:
"Change your bait, or change your pond"
"Change your bait, or change your pond"
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