re: Need some pun help to piss off the Mrs

the neighborhood is going to hell; you don't be gentrif'ing

you're really ignoring your investments with that amount sitting in a checking account; you don't be interesting

You be listing good!

Grab my Cialis, it don't be stiffenin'.

EDIT: It works on so many levels... except one.

Quit your bitchin, it don't be interestin

Where's my MILF mother in law, she don't be visitin

I fired the gardener, he don't be citizen

You need to lose weight, I don't be finishin

Use that last one and report back.

side note: you aren't asking for a pun you're asking for a phrase that rhymes

"You don't let me be PIIYB"

"You be needing to learn how to suck dick better"

"You be fixin me a sandwich?"

You don't be calling your sister, we don't be threesenin'

-you make noises when you sleep, yo face be whistling

-your hair is all whack, looks like it's shingling

-coworker don't respect you, to ya boss you should be petitioning

-do you feel different, after the secks last night my dick be tingling

I cheated and used rhyming dictionary

ETa: i free style battle rap at my local urban comedy club on weekends.