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Started By
Message
Need advice regarding a friend with cancer
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:55 pm
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:55 pm
I worked with a young woman some years ago and we became good friends. Although she is very attractive, she’s the same age as my daughter and I was her trainer, so there was no romantic interest, etc., just a good friendship.
She moved away to another district office many states away about 5 years ago, and I left the agency, but we have kept in tough sporadically through text messaging, although the contact has become more limited as time passed.
So I just found out from another friend that she has breast cancer and it’s serious. She’ll be going through chemo and surgery; the whole 9 yards.
I’m looking for advice on how best to contact her and provide whatever emotional support I can. I’m unsure because I know there is so much emotional baggage when a young woman gets breast cancer. She’s in her early 30’s and never married. She has no kids, of that I’m sure, but I don’t know what her dating situation is, currently. I wouldn’t want to trigger her current boyfriend, if she has one.
Also, it’s not like she reached out to me to tell this news on her own. I found out through another person. Maybe she wants to keep it private.
So, should I send a text with some words of support and prayer? Maybe send a card in the mail? What about flowers? Is that too much?
My heart really hurts for this nice young lady. Such a sweet person!
She moved away to another district office many states away about 5 years ago, and I left the agency, but we have kept in tough sporadically through text messaging, although the contact has become more limited as time passed.
So I just found out from another friend that she has breast cancer and it’s serious. She’ll be going through chemo and surgery; the whole 9 yards.
I’m looking for advice on how best to contact her and provide whatever emotional support I can. I’m unsure because I know there is so much emotional baggage when a young woman gets breast cancer. She’s in her early 30’s and never married. She has no kids, of that I’m sure, but I don’t know what her dating situation is, currently. I wouldn’t want to trigger her current boyfriend, if she has one.
Also, it’s not like she reached out to me to tell this news on her own. I found out through another person. Maybe she wants to keep it private.
So, should I send a text with some words of support and prayer? Maybe send a card in the mail? What about flowers? Is that too much?
My heart really hurts for this nice young lady. Such a sweet person!
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:56 pm to Jimbeaux
Just pick up the phone and call her or text her words of encouragement and concern. You're thinking too much.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:57 pm to Jimbeaux
Just text and say "hey, I was just thinking about you, Happy Holidays, hope all is well" Let her bring it up if she wants to
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:57 pm to Jimbeaux
Offer to motorboat her one last time.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:58 pm to Jimbeaux
No, it won't hurt to reach out. What's the worst that can happen.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 1:59 pm to Jimbeaux
whatever you do will almost certainly come off as being the creepy old guy.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:02 pm to diat150
quote:
whatever you do will almost certainly come off as being the creepy old guy.
I can see why someone would think that, but truly it was never like that. I doubt she’d think that.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:04 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:We all do.
I can see why someone would think that, but truly it was never like that. I doubt she’d think that.
Is she stupid?
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:06 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
I’m looking for advice on how best to contact her and provide whatever emotional support I can. I’m unsure because I know there is so much emotional baggage when a young woman gets breast cancer. She’s in her early 30’s and never married. She has no kids, of that I’m sure, but I don’t know what her dating situation is, currently. I wouldn’t want to trigger her current boyfriend, if she has one.
Are you sure you aren't a woman?
Just call or text her and say "____ told me about your situation. I'm so sorry. If you need anything or need support, I'll help in any way I can." or something generic like that. That way, if she wants to push further info, she can. But if she doesn't, she won't. But at least she knows that you support her and she can contact you if she needs help with anything.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:10 pm to Jimbeaux
Flowers are not too much. Any and all support is good. If someone gets jealous, they won't be able to handle what she has to go through ahead.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:12 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
I can see why someone would think that, but truly it was never like that. I doubt she’d think that.
it didnt even take 20 words for you to tell use she was young and attractive then started talking about her breasts.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:13 pm to Jimbeaux
No pics no advice…damn this board has gotten soft!
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:16 pm to Jimbeaux
There is nothing wrong with reaching out to her. A girl I went to school with got breast cancer, and even though I hadn't seen her in years, I messaged her and told her I would be praying for her. She's married and so am I it was no big deal.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:17 pm to diat150
Nah, just wanted to paint the picture.
Somehow, In my mind, a young attractive woman has a certain view of herself as desirable and full of youthful potential, and when they find out about breast cancer, it’s an added gut punch because it sort of steals their view of themself now and into the future in a way that an older woman can manage differently.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:17 pm to Jimbeaux
If it really matters to you stop overthinking it and reach out. Or be a sick frick and text her hi I’m Dr. Coutsher boobsoff and I’m here for support.
Sorry but I’m on vacation & I’ve been watching South Park again they had that troll episode on today.
Sorry but I’m on vacation & I’ve been watching South Park again they had that troll episode on today.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:17 pm to ducktale
quote:
Offer to motorboat her one last time.
I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one thinking this. Just didn't want to say it out loud.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:21 pm to Jimbeaux
Reach out and be normal. Be patient for a response. Some people going through that don’t feel like talking. Others will welcome a distraction. Even more so if it isn’t about the scary arse situation she’s facing.
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:21 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:
regarding a friend
If she's your friend you wouldn't think twice about reaching out.. Did you mean "someone I knew at one time" instead of friend?
Posted on 11/30/21 at 2:25 pm to diat150
quote:
whatever you do will almost certainly come off as being the creepy old guy.
OP should offer to buy her a new rack
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