re: My Body Has Defeated Me. It's Over.

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a friend died yesterday of brain cancer

fought it for 10 years

if he was still alive hed gladly trade with you now and make something of your life

get ahold of yourself and man up

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Last night was bad for me. If I could've traded places with your friend I would've. I would've had to apologize at first though for giving him a defective body.

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This is a troll. And a cynical one at that.

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You need to do some volunteer work. If you feel you can't help yourself, try helping others. You'll be surprised.
Go to a local animal shelter and offer help, go to something like Habitat for Humanity, something, anything.

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I would go volunteer at an animal shelter but I'm allergic to cats and dogs too. Another wonderful thing my body has taken away from me.

Now given my allergies aren't terribly bad. I did spend a week with my parents who have a cat and I was actually okay for the most part. The last day or two my eyes got really irritated and watery but otherwise I was okay. I guess my body could probably handle a few hours at an animal shelter.

I

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’m 35, 160lbs, and sitting in the waiting room of a fricking cardiologist right now.

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aren't you like 5'2"?

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The next time I get on an airplane I could end up dying and no stupid doctor seems to care. They all think its mental, it's not mental. Yet if you take travel away from me I'm completely dead inside anyway. Travel is the one thing that has brought me joy in the last 5 years or so and now I'm losing it.

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you know people travelled a lot prior to airplanes, road trips are fun, drive to canada! take a boat across the seas... go on horseback, could be fun!

sounds like you need an attitude adjustment as much as anything. but if you are really down, talk to a pro, thats what they get paid for. you make it sound like you can't move but also say you are working out, i think you'll be alright if you can get your head in the right spot.

keep your head up, good luck mate!

This hits home for me. I was in a very similar place 10 years ago at your age actually. I quit relying on the doctors who were not helping me (and ironically some of the medications made me feel closer to death). I started researching cancer centers of america protocols. I figured if it was ok for cancer people it would be ok for me. Radically changed my diet, my personal hygiene, and my cleaning products. Then I researched all the "home remedies and old wives tales" for asthma. I discovered that eliminating wheat from my diet cured the Gerd and GI issues (like constipation which causes hemorrhoids). I started taking different supplements and basically eliminating all chemicals and processed foods out of my life. My health started improving. I was kind of shocked and a lot mad. The medical field completely let me down. I do still use some medicine because with asthma you can die without inhalers quickly. My husband thought I was insane but now 10 years later he treats a lot of issues with homeopathic type treatments because they actually work better. And we do not have alot of extra income. But a bottle of a supplement and a couple of 12 packs of coca cola often cost the same price. It is a choice you make. We have four grown children and they are now getting married etc. There are things I can no longer do and may never do again. Like hike on trips but we have learned to still take the trips and let the kids do the hikes. Or for short hikes (to waterfalls and such) I just put a lawn chair at the trail head, wait, and read a book until they return. I am still part of the trip. Since I am high risk and love to travel covid has been hard. But we did manage and air bnb with no contact check in and brought all of our food and drove in the Smoky Mountains. Then we drove around on different routes each day and took a lot of pictures. It is nothing like our regular travels but it was fun to do something we have never done before. There are a lot of things to try before you give up!!
I am very serious and everything I wrote is true. If you want to talk more or have any questions or just need a friend who has been through it my email is my username at gmail.

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They all think its mental, it's not mental

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Whether it is or isn't, it is real. You also clearly are suffering, which is taking an extreme mental toll. Find a mental health professional to work with. It may help with the flying issue, but even if it doesn't, it could help with other mental health issues.

I see hope in the fact that you made this thread. You are searching for something which means you haven't quite given up all hope yet. Find a professional and give it a try. If it helps, that's amazing, if it doesn't you haven't lost anything.

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aren't you like 5'2"?

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Plus 8”.

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My Body Has Defeated Me. It's Over.

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You're not done because this is a cry for help. Defeated people don't cry. They act.

Please go get that help.

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You do make a very good point. Part of why I probably feel this way is that I don't have a "why". Why should I keep living? I have no clue. No one depends on me. I'm not married, I have no kids, if I died I wouldn't be directly hurting anyone else.

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Do you have parents? Siblings? Cousins? Coworkers? Friends?

You matter to them, you matter to the lives of those you could change by volunteering, to your future spouse, your future kids

I really hope you take the advice of finding a professional to talk to, I think you will benefit from it & life will look much brighter once you can open up to everything that’s waiting for you