re: My 94 year old grandfather is in the ICU—should I brace for the worst?

I would think about hospice and don’t try to do painful treatments etc. make whatever is left of his life comfortable for him. He’s 94 and led a long life, do what you can to make the rest of it comfortable for him. Prayer sent and it’s a rough thing to go through for the family.

If he’s intubated and on a vent, your parents should consider palliative care, if he doesn’t come off in the next 2-3 days. It’s sucks but I deal with pt’s on vents everyday at work.

I’m a respiratory therapist, if he doesn’t come off they’ll wind up traching him and putting him in some type of long term acute care facility. Believe me, you don’t want that...

One thing I tell pt’s families, when we put them on vents, sometimes we prolong the death, not so much the life... Remember that.

Anyway, good luck...

I think the kindest thing we can do for our families as we age is to have a living will set up.


This way family don't have to make such difficult choices.


ETA: Just because the medical technology and medicine is available to keep your heart beating and your lungs breathing...doesn't automatically mean it should always be used.

Family start thinking with emotion and want the doctors to do all they can to keep their loved ones alive...without fully considering what that means.

Mine turns 93 in 2 weeks
I fear the day he goes into the hospital
At this point you know what’s eventually coming, no one but the Lord knows when
The best that you can do is spend as much time with him while you can, remember all the good things & talk to him
I will say a prayer for your grandfather & the rest of your family

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He could live another year or maybe more but once in this shape it will mostly be spent in the hospital

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Tell your parents it’s about “quality of life”.. Believe me, your grandfather doesn’t want to spend the last year of his life in a medical facility...

Anyway, whatever decision your family makes will be right, but also remember who’s laying in that bed...

Good luck again.

ICU nurses are a quality upgrade over the rest..... so visit often and shows pops mad love and respect.

AS everyone else says, any time that you have at 94 years old is hit and miss...we can be doing fine and the something upsets the system and recovery is difficult.

I think you mean intubated and not incubated...basically just means that a tube is down his throat, which you already know.

Intensive care just means that he is in a separate area where medical folks can watch him continuously.

His blood pressure is pretty low...is it steady or swinging?

Also, any kidney problems?

I am not a medical professional of any kind, but have sat with a good number of folks in my family who were in grave condition.

Also, the nurses won't say anything negative around him, even if you think he is not conscious, so expect them to be very supportive and caring, but you really need to hear from a doctor before taking any prognosis from it.

FWIW, your grandpa sounds to be in bad shape, but I certainly wouldn't say all hope is anywhere near lost.

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Sorry, meant that he had been intubated. Been in the ICU since getting home from school yesterday so everything is running together. I’m also 21 so this medical terminology is new to me.

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That's cool, sorry for being snarky...

It's a tough time for your parents, and it's tough letting go, but they have to remember what he's going through.

Being a WWII vet and living to 94 is a feat in itself.. God bless him... He lived a long life, we should be so lucky..

I’ve seen a lot of this. Yes, brace for the worst. If he’s been in afib for 3 months, his heart is starting to quit.

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His blood pressure is pretty low...is it steady or swinging? Also, any kidney problems?

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It’s been low, but I wouldn’t say steadily low. It’ll swing from 106/56 and then go back down to 97/46ish. No kidney problems, but they collected a liter of fluid from each lung thursday before his sat levels dropped and they had to sedate him before intubation. He was joking around with the nurses and talking just like nothing was wrong before the intubation, just complained about trouble getting his breath.

No kidney problems but the nurse said tonight he wasn’t producing the amount of urine they were hoping for.

He was in a fib yesterday morning (flunctuated between 100-110) until they shocked his heart back into normal rhythm. It’s been normal (60-70) since then, but I dont know how much that has to do with the oxygen being pumped down his throat.