re: Most freak injury you've had

Sleepwalking as a kid. In my dream, my mom is calling me from the backyard.

Open the back door.

House alarm goes off.

Startles me awake.

Freak out when it was daylight in my dream, and now its pitch black.

Start running.

Run head first into a countertop.

Cut head wide open.

Get 30 stitches.

Tell the kids at school someone broke into my house and my dad and I had to fight them off.

Amateurs...

I'll just give a few.

-5 years old got my my big toe caught in the front spokes of my big brother's bicycle, while riding on the front handlebars. Cut it almost all the way off.
-6 years old when that same brother was swinging me around and threw
me into a tree, breaking my right arm.
-10 years old, doing a back flip from a rope swing over a creek, hit my head on a root and needed stitches over my right eye, Had to wear a patch for little league all-stars.

- various others over the years.

-Junior high, my teammates hoisted me up the flagpole to put a jock on top. Wouldn't let me down, so I slid down and became impaled on the rope tie hook in my back right thigh.
-High school football, I caught a pass and 2 linemen fell on top of me, breaking my right shoulder. Ball and socket cracked and three breaks to my collar bone.
- College football practice, (SLU), Billy Brewer as coach, I dislocated my right shoulder. The trainer, (Doc Morgan), put me on the table and litterally swang on my arm to get it back in.
- College football practice, (next year), I caught a pass, for a TD, BUT, I then wrapped my right shin around the goal post. Compound external break.
- Later, doing a "skin the cat", (back flip from tree into bayou), and the large shark hook we used to skin catfish, jammed into my right butt cheek. Friends had to get me off.
- Skill saw cut my right thigh muscle, requiring 68 staples, inside and out.

Believe it, or not, there is more.

ETA; I did not see this while making this list,

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Not me, but a kid at my middle school stole someone's underpants and decided to pull the old classic trick where you tie them to the top of flagpole.

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Was this when you broke your arm Myles?

In my late 20s playing softball I ran towards some bleachers and caught a ball, slid on both feet flat footed as I put on the brakes and banged my right shin into the thick, wooden plank on the bottom row. The field did not have a fence and had a slim foul area. I’ve had a fibrous sac covering a dented shin ever since. That was about 45 years ago. Every now and then I have to wear a compression sleeve if it starts to ache.

Dislocated my right bird finger at the lowest joint bowling. Felt it bend backwards and pop back. Thing swelled up twice the size and didn’t feel normal again for 6 months.

Fought a router and the router won. Without a long sleeve shirt on, it may have slit the main vein in my wrist and bled me out. I was working alone on my house and had to drive myself to the ER. This was just a few years ago.


Here are some gnarly pictures of it. Warning they are gross


LINK


LINK


The sweater that saved my life


LINK

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It lands with the very tip of the hook down directly on the nail of my second toe. Swelled up like a grape, turned purple/black all over, and the nail fell off three days later.

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That reminds me of another more recent one.

I was at an outdoor get together/party with some old HS friends. I was wearing boots that I don't wear often, but never had a problem with in the past. I never felt any discomfort the whole day/night. When I finally went to crash in the wee hours of the morning, and took the boots off, pain and sensitivity overtook both feet. Both of my big toenails died and are only halfway grown out normally now. This was just before Christmas last year, just about 6 months ago to the date. They were all leather Timberlands that I keep in the garage, I guess they shrunk? The weird part is I never felt any sort of pain or discomfort until they finally came off. You'd think my nervous system would have alerted me to a problem earlier.

Was running a newspaper press and adjusting the ink for one of the pages. I was wearing a long-sleeve flannel shirt, which I had rolled up. A flap on the shirt got too close and was caught in the rollers. It slammed my arm into the rollers. I immediately hit the kill switch, and then backed the press up to get my arm out. Because of the angle, it just pinched the holy hell out of my forearm. With a slightly steeper angle, it would have permanently mangled my right hand, and I'd have been on my way to the ER. As it was, I just had to go sit down for about 15 minutes and change my underwear. Never again wore a long-sleeve shirt when running a press.

Tore my knee picking up an AirPod from under my truck

Not me but I lost the best man at my wedding when, playing golf & he was horrible at golf, the freakest accident I could ever imagine happened: he flubbed a shot, swung his club against the cart. It broke apart & one piece went into his throat. He subsequently bled to death. 23 yrs old. My first son was born the next day.