re: marriage counseling - whats the point?

Most forms of counseling for healthy people can be seen as just a form of coaching, guidance to give you the best chance at succeeding whether it be marriage or something else. However it is interesting that the same people that spend money on private coaches for their kids, lessons with a golf pro, financial advisors, etc will balk at spending a little money to grow and become better in what is probably the most important area of their life.

I 2nd that.

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I know a couple who has done marriage counseling from the day they got married. I realize that they are in the minority here...but I thought it was an interesting idea. Using marriage counseling to make their marriage better from day 1.

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Not a bad idea of you can swing it financially.

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Stupid thoughts like this are why counseling could be ineffective. I know you think you're being funny, but you're really not.

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Oh geez. Get over it.

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Did you mean to quote my reply to your OP with your alter account instead of the one you used to make the OP?

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I have only one account and an admin would know that.

People go there to hear that the other spouse is wrong.

Marriage counseling is a fraud that makes me out to be the failure in a relationship. It is a waste of a mans time. Woman is never to blame and are the victim. A good man would have his house in order.

When I was married my ex started becoming extremely selfish with time and events together..

She understood clearly tharmt on Fridays me and my friends went out and would be back later that night. She always could trust me and for the most part she did. One friday she had plans of her own that were cancelled on her at the last minute after having it planned out for over a week with some od her friends. Well, she tells me she wants me to tell my friends I wasnt going. I told her that is not being a friend and is ugly. I wouls not stand my friends up when we had plans. She got extremely emotional and said I didnt love her blah blah.

Things went downhill from there and she wanted marriage counseling (no shite). The guy we saw listened to her bullshite and bought every bit of it. I attempted to explain to him what was the problem and he wouls have none of it. Told me i needed to put her first in all things and be the man, comforter.

I got my shite and left her and his arse up at the church and went home. Got right up and left them. In the middle of listening to that load of shite. We divorced and I will never marry again. Ever. Dumbest thing a man could ever do unless he is a bitch. I know many who are the bitch in their households while the woman runs the show. Modern day cucks.

I hear my sister in laws counciling stories from my wife. My take is that she and her husband are both too selfish to look at the others view. Both are wrong and both are right in certain areas. The ability to "see the forest through the trees" is a wisdom they seem to lack. I try and do right by my wife. She does the same. When that gets messed up we apologize and try to look through each other's glasses. You have to be able to say I'm sorry. I will tell her when I think she's screwing up and she does the same. We talk it over and decide on the best possible outcome. We've been married 20 years. Couples need to talk and listen and respect each other or the relationship will never work! That and have lots of sex! Setting time aside for each other without the distraction of kids, friends and in-laws is huge for a working marriage. My sister in law and her husband always seem to be trying to escape each other. Both spending tons of time with their friend groups, then some how resent each other for doing so. I think a lot of folks refuse to grow up. I also think many choose the wrong mate. It's funny; my wife fits my personality but I swear her selfish sister and I are total opposites and In no way would I have ever married her. Now their councilor is just a mediator as they each try to justify their hate. It's sad to watch.

Reo45

This guy gets it.... I think.

I went through a lot of marriage counciling at the end of my 1st marriage. It cost me a small fortune. I read all the books and did as much of the exercises I could. Ex talk the talk but never really got into the couples part of it. That’s just who she is and who I am.
Strange thing is the marriage counseling really paid off in the second marriage even though my second wife wasn’t involved. I think in counciling I discovered the type of woman I was compatible with and how to communicate in a marriage. What kind of marriage stuff to blow off and what to talk out.