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re: marriage counseling - whats the point?
Posted on 3/28/18 at 1:58 pm to LSUBanker
Posted on 3/28/18 at 1:58 pm to LSUBanker
Just going off what a few folks personally told me, marriage counseling makes the marriage worsen.
Once things are said, they can not be unsaid.
I was told, i would think very very long and hard about going to counseling before i went.
Once things are said, they can not be unsaid.
I was told, i would think very very long and hard about going to counseling before i went.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 1:58 pm to Tempratt
To raise those difficult questions that couples seemingly avoid (finances, children, debt, family and in laws, etc.)
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:01 pm to Rox
quote:
OHHHHHH..... so this thread is for "a friend" :wink wink:

Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:02 pm to LSUbase13
quote:
To raise those difficult questions that couples seemingly avoid (finances, children, debt, family and in laws, etc.)
Topics involving children and in laws can be a quick recipe for divorce for otherwise health couples.
If the goal of counseling is to save the marriage, it's unlikely to accomplish that for some issues. Even with a competent counselor.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:04 pm to Tempratt
I went.... wife (now ex) lied the entire time....
On one on one sessions the counselor would agree with me saying how wrong my wife was then in joint session counselor would side with wife.
Actually made stuff a lot worse for our marriage. And if I could some how sue that counselor I would.
On one on one sessions the counselor would agree with me saying how wrong my wife was then in joint session counselor would side with wife.
Actually made stuff a lot worse for our marriage. And if I could some how sue that counselor I would.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:04 pm to Tempratt
A good therapist can help an illogical and selfish way of thinking and develop better mindfulness in individuals and relationships
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:06 pm to Tempratt
Do your neighbor a favor and bang his wife so he can avoid having to go through marriage counseling
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:08 pm to Tempratt
From an attorney's perspective, I find most people attend counseling to seek validation or approval for their pending split, especially women. Most people who need counseling request it far too late imo.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:08 pm to Tiger Prawn
I suspect marriage counseling depends a lot on the counselor and maturity of the participants.
I can see how two people can get stuck in a rut and while they want to make a marriage work, they're so filled with resentment and have created so many proxy wars it's difficult to get to the root of the issue. I could see a good, fair marriage counselor helping with that.
Obviously if the marriage counselor sucks (is biased), the couple is immature (one or both lie) or the couple doesn't want to make it work, it'll be useless and/or destructive.
I can see how two people can get stuck in a rut and while they want to make a marriage work, they're so filled with resentment and have created so many proxy wars it's difficult to get to the root of the issue. I could see a good, fair marriage counselor helping with that.
Obviously if the marriage counselor sucks (is biased), the couple is immature (one or both lie) or the couple doesn't want to make it work, it'll be useless and/or destructive.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:09 pm to CorkSoaker
quote:
A good therapist can help an illogical and selfish way of thinking and develop better mindfulness in individuals and relationships
Correct!
While the wrong therapist can widen the communication gap between partners, a good one can really help reset the negative patterns we all fall into.
It was huge for me and my wife. We lost a kid and started taking the grief out on one another and it spiraled into an abyss of frustration and anger over the past 3 years. Our therapist helped us dig out -- but you still have to do all the work and if either of you go about it half-assed, then it will fail.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:09 pm to JumpingTheShark
quote:
Horrible thread. Not worthy of an actual explanation.
Whats so horrible about it?
It's a serious question. If my wife wanted a divorce there's no way in hell I'd lack the self respect to get "counseling."
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:12 pm to brucevilanch
quote:
She's cheating on you.
probably with their marriage councilor.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:13 pm to Tempratt
quote:
It's a serious question. If my wife wanted a divorce there's no way in hell I'd lack the self respect to get "counseling."
What if she wanted a divorce because you didn't talk to her enough and she didn't feel like you cared about her?
Would your ego still be so ruined?
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:14 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:
Evil Little Thing
quick hijack... send me an email noho.tiger at yahoo
Marriage counseling works if both people are interested in saving the marriage
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:14 pm to Tempratt
The ex-wife and I went to marriage counseling. Ex-wife proceeded to tell the counselor that she really didn't feel like the marriage was worth saving - counselor said okay. We ended up divorcing. Money well spent.

Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:17 pm to Tempratt
The answer is easy.
You go to prove to your wife that she's the one who's in the wrong.
Ask therapist whether some of the crap your wife does is reasonable. Make sure wife is listening, then kick your feet up and relax.
Somebody has to talk sense into women.
*make sure you pick a female therapist. Otherwise wife will assume she's just getting another dudes opinion.
You go to prove to your wife that she's the one who's in the wrong.
Ask therapist whether some of the crap your wife does is reasonable. Make sure wife is listening, then kick your feet up and relax.
Somebody has to talk sense into women.
*make sure you pick a female therapist. Otherwise wife will assume she's just getting another dudes opinion.
This post was edited on 3/28/18 at 2:18 pm
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:23 pm to Tempratt
Some counselors will teach your wife how to make a decent sandwich.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:29 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
.. she didn't feel like you cared about her?
I'd cite all of the shite that i've done for her and say do what you want
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:32 pm to blueboxer1119
quote:
You go to prove to your wife that she's the one who's in the wrong.
\
We all know that the wife can never be in the wrong.
Posted on 3/28/18 at 2:34 pm to Tempratt
I know a couple who has done marriage counseling from the day they got married.
I realize that they are in the minority here...but I thought it was an interesting idea. Using marriage counseling to make their marriage better from day 1.
I also think they get it free though through the husband's insurance so that helps...
I realize that they are in the minority here...but I thought it was an interesting idea. Using marriage counseling to make their marriage better from day 1.
I also think they get it free though through the husband's insurance so that helps...
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