re: Jury duty: how to get a mother of 6 month old excused? (Orleans Parish)

Subtle brag that your wife stays at home.

Here's how you get out. Tell your wife to shite her pants when she gets to the court house, but after she goes through security. Tell her to take the stairs, since the elevator will likely be broken. Make sure she drops some stool samples in the stairwell. When she gets to the jury pool, tell her to walk to the welcome desk and tell the nice lady that she just had a kid and had to take the stairs. The stress from the climb caused her bowels to be released uncontrollably. They'll send her home and likely shut down the building due to it being contaminated with shite.

Have her ask if the defendant is white or black


Dismissed

Easiest answer is to just not go. The courts aren’t going to waste resources coming to find her. If they do, just tell them she never got a jury summons.

Or if she feels compelled to go, usually a jury is seated based on their summons number. Shortly thereafter, the judge usually makes an announcement asking people to come forward if they have any issues/ conflicts serving on a jury. In Georgia, elderly people, felons, nursing mothers, and some people’s religions are automatic excuses to be dismissed.

Primary care givers generally are excused. At least up here.

quote:

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Every time I write a letter saying I’m unable to go because of young kids. I don’t ask.

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You don’t even go in?

Tell her to flop her tit out and start breastfeeding in the middle of the trial.

My wife brought the baby at 4 months. They gave her a room to breastfeed and everything. She got released after about 6 hours.

What makes you think it’s a 2 week commitment? She probably won’t even have to go.

"I believe in jury nullification."

Answers that your wife will be able to give.

CRIMINAL:

"People don't go to trial/get arrested unless they are guilty or they did something."

She should stick to this and also state that "if he/she's not guilty, then why did they get arrested?"

Reason:

"My uncle/dad/cousin is a police officer and I hear stories all the time about how guilty people claim that they are innocent."

"I'm going to believe the police officer over anybody else."

CIVIL:

"The Bible says that you aren't supposed to sue people to get money."

"I think it is a sin not to forgive someone, even if they caused an injury."

"I could never believe someone who would sue someone else."

Stick to this line of responses and she won't have to be there more than a day.