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re: Jokes

Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:08 pm to
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:08 pm to
I know you're still mad at me for last night, but don't be.
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
175813 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm to
quote:

I know you're still mad at me for last night, but don't be.

did you do something last night ?
Posted by Ed Osteen
Member since Oct 2007
57464 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm to
You
This post was edited on 2/10/17 at 10:10 pm
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
35074 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm to
I just heard Super Dave Osborne tell that same joke.
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
175813 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:10 pm to
quote:

I just heard Super Dave Osborne tell that same joke.


that fricker stole my joke
Posted by TheArrogantCorndog
Highland Rd
Member since Sep 2009
14814 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:11 pm to
A midget psychic escaped jail


There is a small medium at large
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
175813 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:11 pm to
quote:

A midget psychic escaped jail


There is a small medium at large



:golfclap:
Posted by TheArrogantCorndog
Highland Rd
Member since Sep 2009
14814 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:16 pm to
The way OweO learned to use his chair was like the way he lost his virginity

With his dad's hand on his shoulder
Posted by Bullfrog
Institutionalized but Unevaluated
Member since Jul 2010
56211 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:17 pm to
One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:
- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?

Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:
- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife

Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:
- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.

Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:
- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
Eldest son thinks a little and replies:
- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.

Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
175813 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:18 pm to
your name is Raul ?
Posted by Bullfrog
Institutionalized but Unevaluated
Member since Jul 2010
56211 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:18 pm to
Si
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:19 pm to
Posted by Bullfrog
Institutionalized but Unevaluated
Member since Jul 2010
56211 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:30 pm to
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.

“Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian.

Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”

“No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.

“Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…”

“No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

“Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?”

“It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 2/10/17 at 11:01 pm to
Never heard that one, pretty good.

Now Owlie knows why his illegal alien ole lady is always slapping his forehead and pulling his ears.
Posted by Rize
Spring Texas
Member since Sep 2011
15773 posts
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:46 am to
Posted by HailHailtoMichigan!
Mission Viejo, CA
Member since Mar 2012
69285 posts
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:51 am to
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:51 am to
quote:

Jokes
one word title is going to get whacked (like you will do with that 'joke' in your pants tonight)

But the title does describe the OP perfect. OP as in the 'original poster'; a Joke
Posted by pioneerbasketball
Team Bunchie
Member since Oct 2005
132307 posts
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:52 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/5/17 at 2:42 am
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:59 am to
SS going in on Owlie
Posted by Melvin Spellvin
proud dad of 2 A&M honor grads
Member since Jul 2015
1676 posts
Posted on 2/11/17 at 4:22 am to
true story this week...

guy introduces himself to me as Don Davis, while we are still shaking hands, he leans forward and says, "but my friends call me TITS..."
This post was edited on 2/11/17 at 4:24 am
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