- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm to saint tiger225
quote:did you do something last night ?
I know you're still mad at me for last night, but don't be.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm to OWLFAN86
You
This post was edited on 2/10/17 at 10:10 pm
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm to OWLFAN86
I just heard Super Dave Osborne tell that same joke.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:10 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:that fricker stole my joke
I just heard Super Dave Osborne tell that same joke.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:11 pm to OWLFAN86
A midget psychic escaped jail
There is a small medium at large
There is a small medium at large
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:11 pm to TheArrogantCorndog
quote:
A midget psychic escaped jail
There is a small medium at large
:golfclap:
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:16 pm to OWLFAN86
The way OweO learned to use his chair was like the way he lost his virginity
With his dad's hand on his shoulder
With his dad's hand on his shoulder
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:17 pm to OWLFAN86
One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:
- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?
Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:
- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife
Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:
- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.
Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:
- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
Eldest son thinks a little and replies:
- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.
Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…
- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?
Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:
- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife
Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:
- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.
Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:
- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
Eldest son thinks a little and replies:
- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.
Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:30 pm to saint tiger225
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.
Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.
“Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”
“No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.
“Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…”
“No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
“Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?”
“It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”
Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.
“Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”
“No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.
“Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…”
“No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
“Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?”
“It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”
Posted on 2/10/17 at 11:01 pm to Bullfrog
Never heard that one, pretty good.
Now Owlie knows why his illegal alien ole lady is always slapping his forehead and pulling his ears.
Now Owlie knows why his illegal alien ole lady is always slapping his forehead and pulling his ears.
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:51 am to OWLFAN86
quote:one word title is going to get whacked (like you will do with that 'joke' in your pants tonight)
Jokes
But the title does describe the OP perfect. OP as in the 'original poster'; a Joke
Posted on 2/11/17 at 12:52 am to SuperSaint
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/5/17 at 2:42 am
Posted on 2/11/17 at 4:22 am to OWLFAN86
true story this week...
guy introduces himself to me as Don Davis, while we are still shaking hands, he leans forward and says, "but my friends call me TITS..."
guy introduces himself to me as Don Davis, while we are still shaking hands, he leans forward and says, "but my friends call me TITS..."
This post was edited on 2/11/17 at 4:24 am
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News