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Started By
Message
Jokes
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:00 pm
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:00 pm
A man goes out drinking with a friend and gets so drunk he throws up on his shirt. He panics because he wife has threatened to divorce him because of his drinking.
His friend says
"no problem ,just tell your wife some drunk threw up on you, and stick $10 in your shirt pocket and tell her the guy gave you the money to pay for cleaning"
the drunk thinks this is a great idea and when he goes home he walks through the door and is met by his wife who immediately is yelling at him accusing him if being drunk.
and he uses the excuse and its actually working .
So she reaches into his shirt pocket and pull out a $20
she yells at him
"I thought you said he gave you 10 bucks ' ?!?!
the drunk responds well yeah,
but he also shite my pants
His friend says
"no problem ,just tell your wife some drunk threw up on you, and stick $10 in your shirt pocket and tell her the guy gave you the money to pay for cleaning"
the drunk thinks this is a great idea and when he goes home he walks through the door and is met by his wife who immediately is yelling at him accusing him if being drunk.
and he uses the excuse and its actually working .
So she reaches into his shirt pocket and pull out a $20
she yells at him
"I thought you said he gave you 10 bucks ' ?!?!
the drunk responds well yeah,
but he also shite my pants
This post was edited on 2/10/17 at 9:09 pm
15
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:01 pm to OWLFAN86
Not bad!
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:04 pm to OWLFAN86
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:04 pm to OWLFAN86
You set the bar really low
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:04 pm to OWLFAN86
How many BLM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:05 pm to OWLFAN86
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:06 pm to OWLFAN86
Just forwarded this email to my grandpa!
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:10 pm to mattz1122
quote:the one that molested you ?
Just forwarded this email to my grandpa!
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:10 pm to OWLFAN86
The one that molested you.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:11 pm to mattz1122
quote:jokes on you
The one that molested you.
it was consensual
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:12 pm to mattz1122
quote:
The one that molested you.
That was consensual and I just have him call me grand daddy mind your lane
Don't hate cause you don't get to have me push holes through your back
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:13 pm to OWLFAN86
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:55 pm to TheArrogantCorndog
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:57 pm to OWLFAN86
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:02 pm to OWLFAN86
That was pretty fricking lame. I'm disappointed in you Owlie, you're better than this.
And how does this lame arse shite already have 11 upvotes? OT must be full of lames.
I don't have a joke, just wanted to say that shite was not funny and you're usually pretty clever.
And how does this lame arse shite already have 11 upvotes? OT must be full of lames.
I don't have a joke, just wanted to say that shite was not funny and you're usually pretty clever.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:03 pm to stout
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:05 pm to OWLFAN86
Good friend of mine had his first son a couple months ago. The weird part was that to this day he swears that never did anything but PIIHB... I don't know about all that but god damn did his kid come out a piece of shite.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:05 pm to Marco Esquandolas
Where does a fish keep its' money?
In a river bank
In a river bank
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:05 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
the one that molested you ?
Now that's a little better. Wasn't a punch line joke but a nice little clever comeback. Stick to what you know best bro.
Posted on 2/10/17 at 10:07 pm to saint tiger225
quote:I am the king of comebacks
Now that's a little better. Wasn't a punch line joke but a nice little clever comeback.
Stick to what you know best bro.
like I did on your moms back last night
and my joke was money
This post was edited on 2/10/17 at 10:09 pm
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