re: How to tell the wife I want an at-home babysitter

quote:

---

I’m trying to figure out a way to try to bang the babysitter? That’s not what my intent is.

---

The definition of intent is so subjective these days, especially in today's modern society. I didn't "intend" to bang the 20 year old nanny so there is no intent involved here because intent would mean you proactively thought this through before you banged her.

Just tell her. We are going to have a 20 year old Brazilian at pair living with us next year. Wife doesn’t care.

How old are your kids?

I have a five year old and a three year old. My wife works from home and on the days my kids have off from school we sometimes get a babysitter. My wife complains more on these days than the days the kids are just there by themselves with her. It ends up just being another person in the house and she deals with the kids being annoying just the same as if the babysitter wasn't there.

On the other hand, we had full time nannies for both of my kids until they were about 18 months old. One was a New Orleans native. Lazy as shite, didn't do much with the kid. Always had her own kids' shite going on. Always sick. Expensive as hell. The other was Honduran. She was bad arse, even though she was old. She never sat down, even while the kids were sleeping. If there was something to be done, she did it. Nakeia sucked. Hilda was a boss.

quote:

---

How do I suggest this idea to my wife without her assuming I’m trying to figure out a way to try to bang the babysitter?

---

Maybe just have an honest conversation with her? Once you start this search, you'll realize that the babysitter/nanny market isn't quite made up of the people you think it is. Find you a Hilda.

Why does the nanny have to be a 20 something year old? What you need is a good nanny regardless of the age.

Nannies are typically more expensive than daycare unless you luck up and find perhaps a housekeeper who will also look after the kids daily and is will to take less money.

Your wife (and you) is against daycare. I don't understand what's hard about talking to her about getting a nanny of some sort so you can work. I'm confused by why that's difficult.

If you happen to be on one of those next door neighborhood sites, I see people looking for nannies quite often and getting plenty of suggestions. I've also seen some folks looking for jobs like housekeeping and babysitting etc...

Go the international au pair route.
Install a few nanny cams, to keep your wife's concerns at bay, & get in a rhythm of leaving the house for a few hours to work st a coffee shop or whatever most days.

quote:

---

How much do you think a nanny makes in a year? $20k? $30k? $40k? All of those are significantly more expensive than the vast majority of day cares

---

True dat. We looked at what is essentially an Angie's List for baby sitters and most want at least $15/hr. When we calculated time at daycare it's like we are paying $5/hr.

quote:

---

Member since Oct 2011 17,639 posts

---

tell her that you've only managed SEVENTEEN THOUSAND posts without a babysitter. she will understand, I'm sure.

I know what you are searching for on Pornhub.

Baw you need to connect with the LSU sororities

Why would your wife automatically assume you were trying to cheat on her?

Check out care.com. Someone older than 20 may be a better candidate

I would not keep my child home if I were working. There’s no way you can watch them closely enough or give them enough attention