re: How to deal with an alcoholic family member?

LINK

Most people have said a lot of good things - but I always found this TED talk particularly enlightening.

LINK

I'm not sure about how I feel about this one, but it has some interesting things to consider relative to how to talk about addiction with people who are using.

Heavy substance use is a choice, some are more precluded to it and have a harder time saying no than most others - I'd approach it that way without knowing your specific situation. Most people do get over it without treatment (certainly not all).

In the end, you have to let them figure it out for themselves. Talk about how it impacts you and your family, why you want them to change but it ultimately their decision on when they are ready to give up that lifestyle.

I wish I knew.

My mom and dad were both alcoholics. Mom was in much worse shape. I am the youngest of six, and their disease advanced greatly between when my oldest brother was in high school and when I was.

During my senior year in high school, my aunt called me to ask me to warn my father about how bad my mom was getting. I tried, but my dad was in total denial.

The weekend before my HS senior exams, my dad was on a business trip and my mom went over the edge. It was clear to me that she wasn't normal, but I had no clue what to do. I went to school on Monday, hoping it would be better when I got home.

It wasn't. My mom was hallucinating people in our house. She was totally irrational. With the help of that same aunt (who was only there because God sent her), I was able to trick her into a car and get her to the hospital. She spent 20+ days in a hospital and was told by her doctor, "If you take another drink, it will kill you."

She dried out for about 6 years, but started again. Sure enough, about 4 years later, she died of cirrhosis of the liver. We got an extra 10 years, which allowed my wife to know here. But, alcohol was more important to her.

My dad was in total denial all along. He was mad at the coroner for saying she had cirrhosis. He became very withdrawn, and who knows how much he was drinking. I have heard that the woman he dated briefly after my mom's passing told him, "Stop drinking or I am out of here." He didn't. He died a few years later, though we don't know which hurt him more, alcohol or smoking.

I am fortunate to not like alcohol at all, whether it's a physical or psychological revulsion.

In the end, they have to look into the face of the beast and dedicate themselves to not allowing the beast to devour them. You can't do that for them.

I wish I could be more encouraging.

Dammit, son, you said you wouldn’t bring this to the OT.