re: How much time is appropriate to wait to start dating again after a spouse dies?

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My wife’s relative starting dating again after her spouse died within 6 months of his

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My wife died 6 years ago. She was ill for awhile and then hospice for several months. She was a tough women. She just kept hanging on. We all knew the outcome was inevitable. So once she was gone, it wasn't a stretch for me to start looking around. Hate all you want but she and I had discussed this very topic. She wanted me to be happy. We did have a trust in place to keep some "harlot", her words not mine from stealing our sons money.

Everyone is different man. Some people need time to grieve, but some people really just need companionship. Being alone sucks.

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I think it’s appropriate to take a year to mourn the relationship before getting dicked down by a bunch of randoms. They had three kids together and a 30 year marriage. Show some respect and don’t be such a whore.

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Wow! Someone is very judgemental.

It’s a troll. His shtick is to pose a question, then have people answer, then take a hardline, and top it off by adding some detail that makes them the judgmental jerk instead of himself.

He got me with it on the poliboard.

Proof of his douchery

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I think it is whorish behavior to sleep with multiple dudes within a year of your husband’s death.

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Why isn't this in the op? All you said was

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How much time is appropriate to wait to start dating again after a spouse dies?

My wife’s relative starting dating again after her spouse died within 6 months of his death.

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First she went on a date within 6 months, then when everyone said "it's up to her", you switched to "she's getting dicked down by multiple randos".

Thread didn't go the way you hoped so you switched it up to try and justify your dumb opinion.

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Statistically is not uncommon for people in happy, healthy marriages to move on shortly after the death of a spouse.

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My grandparents used to talk about this. They said they would be happy if the other remarried when the other passed away. It would mean that they were happy being married. My grandfather passed first and my grandmother got remarried to a man from her church, but I honesty can't remember how long after. This was almost 30 years ago.

Mourning and being respectful are 2 different things.

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My wife died 6 years ago. She was ill for awhile and then hospice for several months. She was a tough women. She just kept hanging on. We all knew the outcome was inevitable. So once she was gone, it wasn't a stretch for me to start looking around. Hate all you want but she and I had discussed this very topic. She wanted me to be happy. We did have a trust in place to keep some "harlot", her words not mine from stealing our son’s money.

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I am a senior and been a widower for 5 years. My wife had incurable neurological condition which in itself was not fatal, but slowly debilitating, but then Covid came along and with her comorbidity (ies) passed suddenly-unexpectedly from Covid. I agree with others it depends on the circumstances of the death, was it sudden, a long, drawn out fatal illness - how quickly the spouse can recover from the shock, as to when, and if, they can put the past behind them and move forward. Everyone is indeed different as to how they can handle that circumstance. But it was our wish for each other if one pre-deceased the other that the surviving spouse would move forward, not live in the past, and find someone else if they so chose to do so, and this was conveyed to our families. No time frame for doing so was discussed. I had neighbors and friends who were widowers or widows who had dealt with the same, and they all gave me the same advice - don’t make any rash, knee jerk decisions - and give it time, it would get better……and it does (did).

In my case it was 2 years before I thought I might consider “dating” and it was actually 3 years before I could build up the courage to so…..lol. And honestly it’s nice to have someone of the opposite sex to do things with, that also went through similar or difficult circumstances and could relate. Would I re-marry? I don’t know but I’m open to all possibilities, but I’m self-sufficient, always was - I can cook, clean, pay bills, run a household, etc. If someone is to re-enter my life long-term it’s because I would want to, not because I need to, and I would like a potential “significant other” to be the same.

I do recall younger professional colleague, Ph.D., college professor, maybe early 40’s, with younger kids, in another state whose wife suddenly died of a stroke, His colleagues, close friends of mine, told me he was totally incapable of doing anything for himself, and his kids, other than his daily job - he re-married with 3 months - I assume out of necessity. I always was felt that was so sad, but as far as I know it worked out.

Is the death of a spouse much different than the death of a marriage?

My first wife turned out to be a serial philanderer and ended up running away with my "best friend", my hunting and fishing buddy. The same one that I later found out had been keeping her from getting lonely when I was on camping trips with the Boy Scout troop for which I was Scoutmaster.
Yes, I kept the house, the cars, the two young daughters 3 & 5 years old, and it took many months (years) to clear up the thousands of dollars in charge account debts that she had run up without my knowledge.

Yet, I was lost and lonesome. so much so that I couldn't stand to hear those whiney country-western songs that were so commonly being played in that day. I now know that I was suffering with deep mental depression at the time.

I was fortunate in that I met a young lady in my home town some months later, the girls loved her and asked if she was going to be their "new mommy". Four month later we were married and we celebrated our 61st anniversary last fall.
Living alone in your grief will not readily cure the depression as will finding someone new to share your life. Doing so will honor the deceased spouse by showing that they were a critical part of your life and that you truly needed their companionship.

Hey, he isn't coming back......some people have........needs, dammit.