re: How long until you can fart in front of your SO?

I don't understand how people don't rip em once married.
It is literally almost the first thing I do everyday. She's usually already up. I wake up roll over, stand up, rip a fart I've probably been holding unconsciously for a few hours, then I walk into the bathroom and take a piss.

I bet you dorks hide your morning boner from her too huh?

BTW, we used to do beach body workouts together. There is literally nothing funnier than one of you ripping one on accident while doing a squat. Especially if you hit it a couple of squats in row. Brings a workout to a grinding halt.

quote:

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Married for 26 years and never have farted in her presence. Almost burst open many times but never gave in. If in the bed, I'd get out and get to the bathroom or another room.

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I have trouble believing this. If I did that I'd be walking an extra 100 yards per day.

It's BS to comport oneself as an adult? America these days... pretty sad place.

Went to a crawfish boil bout 6 months into the relationship.

It was great. Had a good time. Filled up on hot spicy crawfish and a couple brews.

Then got in the car and drove back to Baton Rouge. From Hammond. On a Friday afternoon.

I just threw the underwear in the garbage.

I was in the hospital after having my son and the epidural had yet to wear off. Staff was waiting for me to regain the ability to move my legs so I could be moved to a recovery suite where my baby could room in with me.

Suddenly my husband let loose and ripped out a loud one. I fussed at him for being rude, knowing that I could not leave the room and why didn't he just go in the hall and do it since I was held captive by my non functioning legs. It was unusual for him to do such a thing like that and he did it when I could not escape from it!

He cracked up laughing and said " Um Honey, that wasn't me. That was YOU!" Yep, it was me. Damn epidural!! I couldn't feel a thing. I was so embarrassed but it was so funny that I had to laugh too.